The Renewed Trilogy: Book Two: Wind's Nocturne
by Cinderpaw11
Summary: With Hollyleaf dead, it's up to her prodigy Hollypaw, to get her - and all of her dead loved ones - revenges. But with a jealous brother, an ill sister, a father that doesn't trust her, and two pestering ShadowClan apprentices, things are far from easy . . .
1. Wind's

**Hello again, readers!**

**This is The Renewed Trilogy's second book, Wind's Nocturne. Clearly I changed it from its earlier title idea, Once Upon A December. **

**So. Little. Speech. So. Much. Description.**

**Sorry it's up so late… writers block, y'know?**

**Wind's Nocturne – Lunar Silver Star Story**

Hollyleaf watched interestedly through Hollykit's eyes.

She hadn't learned very much about what she was supposed to be doing, but knew some of ThunderClan's goings-ons.

Hollykit had a sister named Petalkit, whom she was very close with, and a brother named Sparrowkit, who liked to play pranks on his two sisters. Petalkit was a very light gray with dark flecks, and playful amber eyes, and Sparrowkit was orange with amber eyes, a spitting image of his father.

She had yet to know what Hollykit looked like, because inside of her, it was impossible. Hollykit probably didn't even know what she looked like. All that she knew was that she didn't look like either of the parents, and that some cats looked oddly at her for it.

Hollykit was oblivious to the stares, and Hollyleaf had yet to make herself known to her, waiting for the right time – when Hollykit was alone, that way if she replied out loud, no one would hear her and she wouldn't look like a loon. That had yet to happen, because Hollykit and Petalkit were glued to each other. If one went somewhere, the other one followed closely, giving Hollyleaf a dilemma of sorts. Especially because she already didn't know exactly how to contact her.

In other news, Ferncloud had once again had kits with Dustpelt. Rainkit, a gray tom with amber eyes; Dawnkit, a she-cat with light brown fur and green eyes, and Frostkit, a dark gray tom with green eyes.

Fernclouds kits were four moons old, and Cinderhearts were five.

Graystripe had a cough; Dustpelt-though unwillingly- was considering going to the elder's den; Berrynose and Poppyfrost were in an argument, and both refused to apologize first.

She had also heard some cats gossiping, and found out that Redwillow and Applefur had two kits, about the same age as Hollykit, Aquakit, a oddly bluish colored she-cat that was interested in becoming a medicine cat apprentice when she grew up, and Owlkit, a light brown tom named after Redwillow's brother, Owlclaw, who was dead-set on becoming a great warrior.

Rosekit and Rockkit were now Rosepaw and Rockpaw. Rosepaw was being mentored by Blackstar, and Rockpaw by Redwillow. Hollyleaf approved of those choices, but she wondered if Blackstar still had trust issues about Redwillow.

The most disturbing thing for Hollyleaf though, was the choice of deputy. Instead of Rowanclaw again, like everyone expected, she had heard that it was Crowfrost.

She could only wonder how Blackstar could be foolish enough to actually give a blue eyes cat with white fur that position.

Hollyleaf had found out things about her little area too.

If Hollykit fell asleep, she did too.

If Hollykit woke up, she did too.

That was helpful, so that if Hollykit was ever alone, Hollyleaf would know, and could take her chances trying to communicate.

They shared dreams, but Hollyleaf could never manage to actually appear to the she-kit, and remained invisible in the shadows, and could only see a faint outline of who she assumed was Hollykit.

But she found out she could do something else, too. If she tried hard enough, sometimes she could make Hollykit do something. It was only simple things, like yawning, a flick of the tail or an ear, a paw twitch, but Hollykit was growing curious of it.

Hollyleaf knew _that_ because she could read Hollykits mind as well.

And that helped Hollyleaf figure out how to get into her –kind of- reincarnations mind.

Only with trying extremely hard did Hollyleaf get to do the listed things.

So, naturally, if she tried hard enough to get out of Hollykit's mind in one of their dreams, she could probably get out.

Sure, she would risk scaring the kit to death, but life inside a head was boring.

Suddenly Hollyleaf recalled talking to Scorchfur, "_So… I'm giving this cat schizophrenia?_"

That now seemed so much more entertaining, and so much less demented.

Boredom was a curse, especially when you have to put up with it for four moons (Hollyleaf had arrived when Hollykit was just about a moon old.)

So throughout the day, Hollyleaf paced around in wherever-she-was, as she liked to call it, waiting for Hollykit to go to sleep, and hopefully have a dream. She would prefer to have this done before Hollykit was apprenticed, and not be used to this at all, and end up being another Firestar, as popular saying went, courtesy of Dustpelt.

Back on topic, Cinderheart was currently giving Hollykit her nightly wash and check-up.

Hollykit was whining in a small voice, trying to force her mothers attention on her sister, so she could get out of her bathing routine and go to sleep. Sparrowkit was laughing at her, already curled up in their shared nest, clean and shiny from being washed moments before her.

"Who are you to laugh?" Petalkit growled in her sister's defense. He laughed harder as her turn was up, and Hollykit joined him in the laughter, earning a glare and a cry of protest from Petalkit. "I stood up for you!"

Hollykit grinned, "And I thank you for that," and then the siblings continued their taunting, another one of the things that happened a lot.

"Cut it out, you two." Cinderheart finally snapped, sending them each a failure of a harsh look, because amusement shone in her eyes.

Clearly she had grown used to this too.

Hollyleaf sighed at her former best friend. "You shouldn't encourage them…" she scolded no one, but Hollykit's ear flicked as though she had heard it.

At last, Petalkit joined them, sniffing defiantly, and ignoring her siblings subtly as they poked jokes at her, and then laughed to themselves and each other.

"Go to sleep," Hollyleaf whispered, praying that Hollykit would hear her soothing voice, and listen.

Hollykit's laughter paused, and her body stiffened suspiciously. When she heard nothing else, she faked a yawn and lied down, kicking Sparrowkit into his own nest area. "'Night," she mewed to Sparrowkit and Petalkit, who glared at her again, and turned away.

Hollyleaf lied down too, knowing that when Hollykit fell asleep, she would too, and waited impatiently for the familiar black wave to wash over her.

When it finally did, she was instantly transported to Hollykit's dream world, which consisted of a forest, like it usually did, her being in ThunderClan and all.

Trees rose high above their heads, and bird chirps sounded peacefully, like any cat would imagine the forest before they actually went into it.

Hollykit formed beside her, but it was clear that she didn't see Hollyleaf, because she walked past her without a glance.

'_It's now or never,_' Hollyleaf thought determinedly, gathering all of the willpower she possessed. "Hollykit." She called over to the outline.

It's attention, which had moments ago been on a fluffy bird sitting on a low branch, flicked over to her instantly. "Who's there?"

Taking a deep breath, Hollyleaf pushed herself to appear.

She must have been, because slowly but surely, Hollykit's appearance was appearing, and Hollyleaf could already see her wide, blue eyes.

Hollyleaf froze as the rest of her came into her vision.

"_You!_"

Hollykit took a step back at her sudden exclamation, and cowered down slightly. "Who are you?"

Hollyleaf tried to find words, but everything fled her mind at the sight of the she-kit.

It was the cat from her dream.

Light brown fur, lake blue eyes, and her one black sock on her front left paw.

She hadn't even thought of her dream since she had gotten here, but suddenly it made sense.

She couldn't touch the rats that brought the berries. She couldn't frame Ratscar.

The berries, though touchable, did nothing. Olivenose wasn't guilty.

The bulky bird that, who Hollyleaf now knew, was Hollykit tackled down. Hollykit was destined to kill Crowfrost.

And the bird lunged at her, signaling that it would get her in the end.

It wasn't white because it was a dove; it was white because the killer had white fur. It was a crow the color of a dove.

As she finished pondering this, she remembered Hollykit, who was still looking at her frightfully.

"Don't be scared," Hollyleaf meowed soothingly. "I need to speak with you?"

"I'm not scared." Hollykit mewed defiantly, standing up straight.

Hollyleaf waved her tail dismissively, "Sure, sure, you're not scared." Hollykit cried out in protest to her unbelieving tone. "Anyway, back to the reason I'm here in the first place," Hollykit glared at her, and sat down patiently. "Oh, gosh, I didn't think of how to start this…" she paused awkwardly.

Hollykit glared at her, growing impatient.

"Well, let's start with my name!" Hollyleaf exclaimed like it was a brilliant idea. "I'm Hollyleaf." From the way Hollykit's eyes grew in wonder, she knew that Hollykit knew about her. "I'm your aunt."

"I know," Hollykit nodded seriously, "I was named after you." She tilted her head curiously. "Why are you here? Are you mad at me for taking your name?"

Ah, the innocence of a kit…

"Of course not," Hollyleaf meowed quickly, "I… well, to be honest, I've got about as much of a clue as you do to why I'm here."

The impatient look came back.

"Okay, okay! As you probably know, I was murdered." Hollykit nodded, so she continued. "I was killed because there's a string of murderers around the Clans of the lake. I found out who the killer was, and before I could do anything about it, or tell anyone I knew, he jumped out at me.

"We fought for a good few hours, or at least it felt like it, before I cut his throat. I thought I had finally killed him, so I let my guard down. But he wasn't dead, and instead he killed me.

"When I 'woke up' I was in a place called the In-Between, a place between StarClan and the living world. Scorchfur, my dead mate, came to take me here, and explained some things, and these are the only things I know about what's happening:

"One; I'm dead. You're alive. Two; though you can't see me, I'm with you" - she used her tail to point at her head- "In here. Sometimes you'll move involuntarily, or you'll hear a voice the no one else hears. That's me; I've been trying to contact you, but I've just finally been able to. Three; it's your job to kill the cat that killed me."

Hollykit stared up at her blankly.

"This is probably a lot to digest for a kit, but you're the one with the evil look."

Hollykit continued to stare, before she leapt to her feet. "That's so cool! _I _have a special voice-cat-thingy to keep me company!"

Hollyleaf mentally smacked herself in the face with her paw. "Yes, I know, schizophrenia, amazing." Hollyleaf mewed impatiently, "Did you hear what I said? _You_ have to kill a murderer!"

Hollykit waved her tail at Hollyleaf, "Yes, yes, that too. I don't have to worry about that now, though. I'm only still a kit." She paused, then looked at Hollyleaf curiously, "So, who _is _the killer?"

"I'll tell you sometime else," Hollyleaf replied, brushing the question off. "When you're older."

Hollykit glared again, but Hollyleaf remained unfazed.

"Now, young Hollykit, it's probably almost time for you to wake up. Remember, you can't tell anyone about me. Not even Petalkit!" She warned, "But if you have a question for me, I can read your mind. I can also probably reply, now that we've acknowledged each others existence."

Hollykit nodded at her, then slowly faded away, and Hollyleaf and her woke up simultaneously.

**Ta-dah!**

**Enjoy, and review please?**

**Once again, sorry it took so long to get up. I probably won't update every four days like in Come Clean. Probably every week or so? I guess we'll see.**

**Edit: Lyrics were taken out because the were against the rules; please take the time to look up the lyrics or listen to the song.  
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	2. They're Coming to Take Me Away, HaHaaa

**Napoleon XIV – They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haaa**

**This song is brought to you by Cassy, my insane best friend. (She is also known as Nivium on here. So go read her story. Now.)**

Hollykit jerked awake, surprised.

_Obviously,_ she thought, _I need to stop eating before I go to sleep._

"_It is a rather unhealthy habit._" A voice cut through the air, "_but you won't get rid of me that easily, you little dope._"

"…I'm still dreaming." Hollykit whispered to herself.

Cinderheart looked up, blinking drearily. "Good morning, Hollykit. You're up early," she commented.

"Good morning." Hollykit greeted awkwardly. _What are you doing here?_ she snapped mentally. _Go back to dreamland, where you come from!_

"_Aw, I told you I was real. Didn't believe me, did you, oh moody one?_"

She let out a light hiss and Cinderheart gave her a concerned look. "You okay? Why don't you go get some breakfast?"

Of course, food: the answer to everything.

"_Food won't get rid of me, either._" Hollyleaf said annoyingly.

"Would you be quiet?" Hollykit snarled.

"Uh…what?" Cinderheart asked, frowning.

"Nothing, Mother. I was just saying that you were right!" She bolted out of the nursery before she could continue, ignoring Hollyleaf's ringing laughter.

"_Oh gosh, this is going to be a fun mission!_"

Hollykit spat curses at her through her mind, grabbing a sparrow off of the fresh-kill pile.

"_Such a fowl mouth for such a young cat! Who taught you those words? Oh, right,_" she answered herself, "_Lionblaze, Spiderleg and Dustpelt. What mouths on those guys!_"

_How did you know that?_

"_I told you – I'm _inside_ of you! Get used to it, kid, I'll be here awhile._"

_I was dreaming! I've dreamed weirder!_

"_I know. You're a weirdo._"

She ripped into her sparrow angrily. This was a mind game. It had to be. She had eaten something bad; maybe Jayfeather could help.

"_I wouldn't do that_."

She started to the blind medicine cat's den, ignoring Hollyleaf's protests. "Good morning, Jayfeather…" she murmured to the tom that was sorting through herbs.

He turned to her, irritated as always. "What is it you need, Hollykit? What have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"_He thinks so well of you!_" Hollyleaf quipped cheerily.

"Shut up!" Hollykit snapped out loud, earning a shocked look from Jayfeather.

His fur bristled. "I'm just doing my job, mouse-brain! If you don't have anything to say to me, leave!"

"No!" She blurted. "Not you! _Her!_ Make her stop talking to me!"

He stared blindly at her, taken aback.

"_You're not supposed to tell anyone!_" Hollyleaf yowled. "_Calm down and go eat your sparrow!_"

"No! Shut up! _Shut up!_"

"_Ugh, I totally should have seen this coming…_"

"Uncle Jayfeather," she started again, "There's something wrong with m-" her mouth closed forcefully and her body stopped listening to her. "Nothing's wrong." Her voice said.

Jayfeather's eyes narrowed. "Please lie down, Hollykit. I think you might be sick."

She nodded, regaining movement. "Yes, there's this vo-" her voice cut off as Hollyleaf took over her body again, "Would you shut up you little twerp? Whoops, that was out loud." Jayfeather looked completely baffled. "Uncle Jayfeather, make her _leave_!"

"I… really don't know what's going on…"

"Why don't you just read my mind? Whoops, that was out loud again, wasn't it?" Hollyleaf asked through her.

His eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"Noth-" Hollyleaf started to say, but Hollykit continued with, "No! What are you talking about? Leave!"

Jayfeather looked like he wanted to smash his face through his dens walls.

"_Get out!_" Hollykit snarled. "Stop talking to me! Step talking _through_ me! I'm not _you_."

Silence replied, and she relaxed slightly.

Sighing, she finally continued, "Uncle Jayfeather…" she paused. "What did she mean, read my mind?"

He shook his head blankly. "I don't think I have any herbs that can help you. Go and rest a bit more." He started shooing her out of his den.

"No, what did Hollyleaf mean?" she froze, name slipping off her tongue.

"What did _who_ mean?" he asked, stopping in his tracks.

She slammed her mouth shut. "Nothing. No one. Goodbye, I'm fine!" she started away quickly, and he grabbed her by the tail and yanked her back in.

"You're not done here. What the Dark Forest just happened?"

"_Language, Jayfeather!_" Hollyleaf snapped, back inside her head.

"Didn't you leave?" Jayfeather's ear twitched. "No, not you. Hollyleaf."

"Mm-hmm." Jayfeather hummed. "Are you by chance mental?"

"Probably." Hollykit growled. "She was your sister, right? Can you kindly tell her to _leave me alone_?"

"I think you've been hearing one to many horror stories." Jayfeather deadpanned.

"No! Well, yes, but Hollyleaf, she-"

"Is dead." Jayfeather concluded. "You probably had a nightmare. Here," he moved a nest forward, "get some more sleep."

"But I- never mind." She sighed in defeat, curling into the nest.

Sleep washed over her quickly, and instantly Hollyleaf was in front of her, bristling. "Twerp! I thought you were fine with this!"

"That's when I thought it was a joke by my subconscious!" she fired back quickly. "I _cannot_ understand this!"

"Do you want to go through this _again_?" Hollyleaf snapped impatiently. "I was killed, you have to kill the cat who killed me, ring a bell?"

"So this is what Hollykit was babbling insanely about." Jayfeather growled, stalking out of the bushes, eyes scanning over the two of them.

Hollyleaf looked at her accusingly. "Twerp, you've got us caught. So soon! What happened to you wouldn't tell?"

His eyes stopped on her, unblinking, and Hollykit realized he could see her. "Hollyleaf. So you've been tormenting Hollykit. Is that why I can't find you in StarClan?"

"I'm not tormenting her." Hollyleaf whined. "I just started talking to her last night, and I told her what she needed to know. She's tormenting me, really."

"_Me _tormenting _you_?" Hollykit repeated, dumbstruck. "Here you come in, telling me that I need to kill some cat that you won't even tell me the name of, and _I'm_ tormenting _you_?"

Hollyleaf turned on her, bristling with fury. "Stop your whining! _You're_ alive; _you _have family that you see daily; _you_ are killing the cat that _I_ should have killed! _I'm_ stuck in your head, watching, praying to StarClan that I'm doing the right thing, not knowing what I'm doing, not being able to talk to my family, even though they're _so close_! Stop thinking _you_ have it bad!"

Hollykit gaped at her in amazement. She was too young for this drama. "I…"

"You _nothing_." Hollyleaf spat. "Do you think I _want_ to do this? Well I _don't_. I _hate_ this. _I_ should be the one doing this, _not you_."

"I-"

"No, you listen here," Hollyleaf started again, "your destiny is to do this. Mine is to see to it that you do. _I do not intend to mess this up_. Whether you like it or not, whether _I _like it or not, we're in this._ Together._"

She nodded obediently, not about to test her again.

"Good." She turned to Jayfeather. "You can't tell anyone about this." She said firmly.

He nodded quickly, as equally shocked as Hollykit was.

"Good then. Excellent rather. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel like killing something, and I suspect that there's _some_ sort of prey here." She started to saunter away.

"Hollyleaf," Jayfeather called after her. She stopped and turned back to him, anguish crashing through her eyes to his. "Who killed you?"

She turned again, pausing momentarily in front of the bushes. "ShadowClan's new deputy." She leapt through the bushes and out of sight, and Jayfeather stared after her wordlessly before disintegrating in the air.

Left alone, Hollykit curled into a tight ball, guilt, shame and anger gnawing at her stomach, upsetting it.

She awoke a few moments later and was surprised to find Jayfeather, still silent, working with his herbs again.

He didn't acknowledge her as she dismissed herself and scurried out of the den.

"Are you feeling alright?" Petalkit hollered, at her side in an instant.

"Fine. Really," she added at her suspicious look. "Just… something I ate, probably. Upset stomach." She said, only half-lying, but still feeling awful for doing it.

Her sister nodded, taking the bait. "Well, anyway, if you're feeling better, Dad was showing Sparrowkit some battle moves – I didn't want to learn them without you, so I waited. Mom said you were acting weird. You told her to be quiet?" She twitched her whiskers in amusement. "She wasn't surprised you went to see Uncle Jayfeather. She said he always knows what to use to fix _anything_. Aren't out family members _awesome_? I wish we could have met Aunt Hollyleaf."

_Oh no you don't._

"…_I can still hear you, loud and clear, you twerp._"

"Sorry." She mewed out loud then cringed.

"Sorry for what?"

"Uh. Making you have to wait. Sorry." She explained falsely, swishing her tail through the dirty ground. "Let's go." She started towards her father and brother, who were making weird battle positions by the nursery.

Lionblaze sat up when they arrived, flashing a quick smile at Petalkit, then a quizzical one at her. "Why were you in Jayfeather's den? Are you feeling okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just something I ate."

"_I bet I tasted delicious!_" Hollyleaf joked.

_Shush!_ This would take some getting used too, she decided. "Anyway, Petalkit said you were going to show us some moves?"

He nodded, positioning his body into a crouch. "Yes. This, quite obviously, is a crouch. You can use it with hunting, too, so it has double using. That's why I'm teaching it. Now, try to position your bodies like mine."

They mimicked him and he sat up, pointing out flaws in their postures until he was content they were all doing good. "Now, sit up, stretch, and try to get into that position again. This will help you memorize it."

They did as they were told, and he started helping Sparrowkit back into the right stance.

"_You're putting to much weight on your back legs. Balance better, and stick your tail out straight._" Hollyleaf instructed. "_Un-bush your fur. This will make you look weaker than you are. Well, when you're an apprentice, anyway. You _are_ pretty weak._" She ignored Hollyleaf's jibe. "_Good. Now, move your tail underneath you, that way enemies can't grab your tail._" She did so awkwardly, not wanting to disobey the maniac. "_I'm not a maniac. See, though? Now your perfectly balanced, postured and no enemies can have the upper paw._"

Lionblaze approached her after fixing up Petalkit, and blinked in amazement. "You two, look at your sister! She's doing it exactly right. Actually, more than right." He frowned slightly. "See how she's not bushing out her fur? It makes her look helpless, where as bushing it out would make her look strong. It's a trick. And her tail," he pointed it at with his, and her siblings watched with curious awe. "No enemy can grab it because it's hidden, but she's still balanced fine." He nodded at her, happy. "Good job, Hollykit."

She beamed with pride as her brother scowled with envy and Petalkit gaped.

"Keep that position for a moment, I want your mother to see." He disappeared into the nursery, reappearing a moment later with Cinderheart, who blinked in obvious shock at her daughters perfection.

"Wow! I wish _I_ was that good when I was a kit." She breathed, amazed. "I kept getting distracted and started just playing around."

"You make it sound like you don't anymore." Lionblaze teased, jumping away from his mate as her paw swatted at him.

"That's quite the daughter you have, Lionblaze." Hollykit whipped around, shocked at her leaders voice. Firestar smiled at her, pleased. "You'll make a good apprentice for a lucky warrior."

"She's something alright." Jayfeather muttered, padding over. He looked straight at her, blind eyes narrowed with thought.

Firestar looked at him curiously. "Yes. She was in your den earlier, I hear?"

He nodded. "Mm. Stomach problem. And a bit of a… _headache._"

"_Wow, my brother's a jerk._"

"She'll be a good warrior." Jayfeather continued. "A heroine." He flicked his tail at the curious cats around him. "She's got an interesting destiny ahead of her."

Her fur bristled as Lionblaze turned to stare at her inquiringly.

"_Is no secret sacred?_" Hollyleaf cried dramatically.

"Yes…" Firestar agreed hesitantly. "I imagine she does, with her heritage."

Jayfeather turned towards his den again. "If the _headache_ gets any _worse_, come and see me." His own way of saying that she had to tell him what she knew, when she knew it.

Firestar excused himself, too, walking over to the fresh-kill pile and grabbing a vole before walking over to where Graystripe was sunning himself lazily.

Petalkit stared at her until Sparrowkit launched at her, catching her off guard, and she ran off, Cinderheart calling after them rebukingly.

Lionblaze continued to look at her for a silent moment before whispering so quietly she almost didn't hear it, "Sometimes you remind me of my sister." And going across the clearing to Brambleclaw.

"_Well, this can only get better._" Hollyleaf commented sarcastically. "_So, twerp, do you accept this mission? Not that you have a choice of course._"

She nodded, whispering almost inaudibly, "I'll do it."

**There is no valid reason for my absence - just writers block.**

**I have decided that writer's block can be described as this:**

**A huge concrete block inside your head that full of ideas, but impossible to open without that right tools.**

**The tool is inspiration.**

**I still am not completely inspired, but am doing better than before. **

**Sorry.**

**Oh. And I was at my grandpas. And my computer broke… so… yeah, I guess I do have a reason.**

**Also, to the reviewer without a name:**

**I know Hollyleaf doesn't act like that – that's why I mentioned that she changed a lot. And how do you-or I?-know what Blackstar thinks and does? We've never seen through his eyes before. I know Jayfeather can't see, but almost anyone that has written about him will make a mistake and say he saw something. It's a small error that you can get over. Lionblaze says that because he's shocked that Dovepaw knows, and is still hurt over her death, still not wanting to accept it. When you don't want to accept something, you deny things. I've done it before, so it's a cold-hard fact. And I have read, and own every single warriors book. The reason I haven't been updating is because I have writers block from not being able to read anything new of theirs.**

**To your second review:**

**Firestar cares about the death of Scorchfur because _killing is against the warrior code!_ You're here telling me that I don't know anything, and you go and miss something like _that_? And Firestar's always been a softy. And no, the Clans don't hate each other. They're friends. But they need to take care of themselves so occasionally they have fights and wars.**

**And to your third review:**

**Yeah, Hollykit _isn't_ stupid. She's a _kit_. When you were five, if someone came up to you and said you're going to be a hero, you don't think _Oh no I'm gonna die!_ You think, _AWESOME! I'M GONNA BE A SUPERHERO! BETTER THAN BATMAN AND SPIDERMAN AND SUPERMAN! WHEEE I CAN FLY AND OTHER RANDOM STUFF!_ And I do put effort into writing this. Otherwise it would be a hundred words per chapter with no detail or depth or plot. And if you don't like my story, then don't read it. It's than simple.**

**Now that I've told you my side, thank you for your reviews, and thank you for pointing out the flaws I've made – and am quite aware of, and was before you reviewed. I don't notice tiny mistakes at first, like Jayfeather seeing, but I was aware of it after I posted it and re-re-reread it. I know the characters are OOC, but the only one that can keep them in character, is Erin Hunter – or rather, the only four, as she is four people, and I like that they're OOC. I like defining a character and making them my own, and having to keep my sarcasm and humor out of them is an absolute no, because I'm very sarcastic in real life and tend to make others like that, too.**

**And**

**To everyone else, I'm sincerely sorry for the wait. Like I said, my computer broke - Well, my brother broke it, but same thing – and I was out a computer for two weeks. That and my grandpa's, another two weeks. School started. Another two weeks, plus preparation week. And honestly, my depression is getting the better of me, and it's hard just getting up in the morning. So… yeah. Sorry.**

**Edit: Took the lyrics out because they were against the rules. Please take the time to listen to the song or search it up.  
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	3. The Fight

**Avenged Sevenfold – The Fight**

"_Hey . . ._

_. . ._

_Hey, wake up._

_. . ._

_WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"_

Hollykit jumped to her paws, succeeding in waking Petalkit up.

"Hollykit? Why are you up so early?"

Hollykit glanced outside at the cloudy gray sky.

"_Storms a comin'._" Hollyleaf commented.

Hollykit yawned, lie slipping out automatically. "Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

Petalkit stared at her. "You've become distant, Hollykit. You're hiding something from me."

She smiled, the lie sliding easily from her tongue, "I'm not hiding anything. You're with me all the time, anyway."

A flash of hurt crossed Petalkit's face. "I wish you would tell me." Without waiting for a reply, she curled back up and fell asleep.

_Why did you wake me up?_ Hollykit questioned irritably.

"_Warriors get up now. And you, twerp, are going to have to mature faster than most. Apologies._"

Half a moon had already passed since Hollyleaf's . . . _appearance_, and Hollykit had been getting personally trained, day and night, to be a better warrior, even though she was still just a kit, and in half a moon, would become an apprentice.

She sighed and padded out of the den, taking care not to wake any other family members or Fernclouds family.

Lionblaze watched her from the fresh-kill pile, an odd gleam in his eyes, waving her over with his tail.

Jayfeather, sitting outside his den, nodded and beckoned her over.

She hesitated, eyes flicking back to her father, who was now glaring at Jayfeather suspiciously, and then walked over to Jayfeather obediently.

Lionblaze looked away.

"What is it, Uncle Jayfeather?" She asked quietly, glancing around to make sure no one could hear her. Only her father was close enough to hear them, if he was listening hard enough.

"Has she told you anything?" He whispered back, blind eyes boring into hers.

She shook her head, then added for his benefit, "No. She's still training me, though. 'Day and night, fight, fight, fight,' she says. It's annoying."

"You'll have to get used to that."

"You jerk." Hollyleaf hissed through her. "Sorry," Hollykit added, and Hollyleaf continued with, "I am not sorry!"

Jayfeather sighed. "Don't do that in front of others. You'll look insane."

"Yep."

He didn't say anything for a moment then he looked up at the sky, eyes narrowing. "StarClan knows how you're going to kill a killer . . ."

Hollykit followed his gaze, bemused. "This sure is a twist in my life . . ."

"I'm destined for great things, too." Jayfeather admitted.

"Hollyleaf told me. You, Dovewing and Dad are in a prophecy."

He gave a small nod, and didn't say anything.

She enjoyed the silence for a minute before saying, "My father . . . he suspects something is happening with me, doesn't he?"

He waited before replying, "You have suddenly taken a bigger interest in becoming a warrior, and have been distant to everyone except me. He is . . . confused by your behavior." He turned his sightless eyes to where Lionblaze was sitting. "Go talk to him. Not about Hollyleaf," he added.

She nodded slowly and turned back toward her father, giving a swish of a tail as a farewell, even though he wouldn't see it. "Hi, Dad." She greeted plainly as she approached, smiling pleasantly.

He flicked his tail. "Good morning, Hollykit. You're up early."

She shrugged. "I had a bad dream."

"_That excuse is going to get old quickly._" Hollyleaf mused.

He locked eyes with her, a look of uncertain suspiciousness entering his eyes. "Really? About what?"

Hollyleaf tsked, "_I'm going to enjoy this._"

"Um." Hollykit looked back up at the clouds. "It's not really important."

" . . . Is that what you were talking to Jayfeather about?" He asked hesitantly.

For a moment, she didn't say anything, pondering her words. "No," she started slowly. "Uncle Jayfeather just wanted to make sure I've been feeling fine."

He nodded curtly, and she grabbed a vole off of the top of the fresh-kill pile. "Your back leg is scratched." He noticed.

" . . . I scratched it on the nursery walls." She lied again, setting the vole down to talk. Hollyleaf had accidently scratched her in her dreams, and it had come into the real world.

"No," He mewed, examining it. "It's from a cat. You can tell by how it looks . . ."

"_He's getting suspicious. Abort mission, abort mission!_" Hollyleaf yowled.

Hollykit twitched an ear. "I think you're mistaken."

"No, I'm sure-"

"You are mistaken!" Hollykit snapped harshly, grabbing the vole again and turning away. She walked quickly to sit beside the entrance of the nursery, and nibbled on the vole without appetite.

"_He's suspicious with good reason._" Hollyleaf meowed.

_Why is that? Why is he so suspicious of me?_

"_When your father was younger, he had cats from the Dark Forest training him. He thought they were just helping him become a better warrior, but they tricked him. He thinks you're going down the wrong path._"

Hollykit digested this slowly. The Dark Forest was where the wrongdoing cats went. _Tigerstar, Hawkfrost, Mapleshade,_ she listed mentally, thinking of all of the evil cats she had heard of in the elder's stories. _Darkstripe, Brokenstar, Thistleclaw._

"_And many more,_" Hollyleaf continued, "_They were training him because they thought they could trick him into doing their dirty work, but he smartened up before anything could happen._"

She sighed. Her whole family, and life, she decided, was a string of lies and secrets strung together and tied in an impossibly strong knot, and one by one, those stings were snapping away.

"_And there's so much you still don't know about it._" Hollyleaf forewarned.

Her sanity, too, was snapping.

"_Ha._"

"Hey, Hollykit. Early morning for you too, eh?"

Hollykit looked up from the remains of her vole, into Cherrypaw's gleaming eyes. "Yes. Bad dream," she answered before Cherrypaw could ask. "Why are you awake? You usually sleep as long as you can."

She stretched and smiled toothily. "I'm trying to get up earlier to prove that I'm not lazy. Brackenfur thinks I am, so I'm proving him wrong!" She glanced towards the warrior's den. "He's still asleep, the mousebrain. He promised to train me today, though." She plopped down beside her and licked a paw. Bringing it over her ear slowly, she looked at Hollykit. "I've heard rumors that your dad's been teaching you some stuff. Wanna see how good you are against me? Word is you're talented."

Hollykit stared at her. Cherrypaw was challenging her to a duel?

"_Ooh, do it, do it!_" Hollyleaf cheered. "_If you start to fail, I'll take over, no problem! Besides, she's so tiny that you're almost as big as her!_"

" . . . Claws sheathed?" Hollykit questioned.

"Of course! So?"

" . . . You're on."

They moved away from the nursery walls and started circling each other.

"This might have been a bad idea," Cherrypaw mewed. "I'm an apprentice with training. You're a kit with a few moves."

Hollykit smirked. "Scared already?"

Cherrypaw leapt at her and she ducked and rolled away. "Not a chance." She hissed between her teeth. "I was just giving you fair warning."

Cherrypaw lunged again, and Hollykit moved to the left, quickly turning and hitting Cherrypaw over the head roughly, then moving back a few steps. Cherrypaw turned back to her, lips curling in humiliated anger.

"To scared to do a direct attack?" She taunted. "Just going to dodge?"

Hollykit smiled, moving back again.

"_Don't waste your breath on taunts._" Hollyleaf hissed in excitement.

Cherrypaw stepped forward quickly, reaching out to trip her, and Hollykit balanced on her hind legs, turning her body sideways as she fell back forward so she couldn't be knocked down.

A small crowd had gathered now. Jayfeather watched blindly, his eyes blazing with anger and excitement; Lionblaze was now closer, a look in his eyes telling her that he was still worried; Cinderheart, Sparrowkit and Petalkit were standing at the entrance to the nursery, looks of curiosity on their faces; Firestar watched from the Highledge, eyes slits as he watched the brawl and Brackenfur, Cherrypaw's mentor, had been woken up to watch.

Cherrypaw jumped at her again, and again she moved out of the way, this time turning and leaping onto Cherrypaw's back.

She hit her on the head again and Hollyleaf quickly said, "_Get off her back, and be prepared to attack again!_"

At the same moment Hollykit jumped off of her, Cherrypaw rolled onto her back in attempt to squish her opponent, and Hollykit, instructed by Hollyleaf, jumped back onto her, pinning her down, one front paw on her neck, the other beside her head, and both hind paws on her exposed stomach.

Cherrypaw struggled beneath her, and she stepped away from her, expecting her to give up. Instead, eyes burning with fury, she lunged again, claws unsheathed.

No one stepped forward to help, and Hollyleaf whispered frantically, "_This battle has become serious, Hollykit. She feels dishonored, and is mad. Let me take over now._"

She let Hollyleaf take over her body, watching her body move without her control.

Hollyleaf had unsheathed her own claws, small as they were, and had already made a gash on Cherrypaw's side. With a low hiss, Cherrypaw tackled her over, clawing her side with furious swipes, and Hollyleaf pushed her away, quickly dodging another attack and lashing out at her.

Cherrypaw caught her paw as it whizzed by her head, and bit into it, yanking forward.

Hollyleaf-or herself, she wasn't so sure-let out a cry of pain, and Hollyleaf, seeming to have lost all tolerance for Cherrypaw, bowled her over, favoring her right paw. Pinning her down the same way Hollykit had, she hissed vehemently, "Stop while you're still alive." It was so quiet that only she heard.

She stepped away slowly, and Cherrypaw got to her paws quickly, sending a hateful glare at her. "You _freak!_" she screeched, bolting out of the camp.

Instantly, Lionblaze was at her side. "Hollykit, are you alright?"

She looked towards him, and his mouth fell open and he stumbled backwards.

"You-your eyes . . ."

Jayfeather pushed him away. "Come to my den now, Hollyle-kit. _Quickly_." He shoved her towards his den, and she rushed towards it, still favoring her right paw.

Lionblaze followed closely.

"You idiot!" Jayfeather snarled, ignoring his brother and aiming his attention at her. "You _idiot!_ Picking a fight with an apprentice? Get a brain! Do you know-"

"What's going on here?" Lionblaze snapped, fur bristling. "What is _happening?_ First Hollykit is suddenly fighting Cherrypaw, and now her eyes . . . her eyes are _green_!"

Hollykit's control over her body was abruptly returned.

Lionblaze made a weird noise. "Now they're blue again! What. Is. _Happening?_"

Jayfeather turned towards him. "You need to leave while I treat her, Lionblaze."

"No! Can't you hear me? Her eyes were _green_, Jayfeather! They looked . . . they looked like _hers!_"

Letting out a slow breath, Jayfeather repeated, "You need to leave, Lionblaze."

"You're hiding something from me, Jayfeather." He rasped painfully. "You're both hiding something from me."

"It's nothing to concern yourself over, Lionblaze. Please, leave." Jayfeather said curtly, looking away from him.

Lionblaze stood there, silent, then turned quickly, tail swishing, and stalked out of the den and Jayfeather sighed loudly.

"It would be better to not tell anyone about your _headache_, Hollykit. Assuming that that _is_ you."

"It is, Uncle Jayfeather . . ." she mewed. "I'm sorry. About you and Dad fighting, and battling Cherrypaw. She challenged me and . . . I just thought it would be cool to practice, but then she unsheathed her claws and – "

"Shut up and let me see your paw, Hollykit."

She held it forward obediently.

"I know that you wanted to practice what you've been taught, but smarten up a little. Lionblaze has been teaching you a few things, but fighting Cherrypaw was a stupid idea. She has a temper as bad as her fathers and does _not_ like be outdone. And just because you have the extra help, doesn't mean you should use it. You should have stopped as soon as Cherrypaw unsheathed her claws, not got Hollyleaf to fight back." He sighed, "Your paw is fine, but will be sore for awhile." He followed her toward the nursery. "Stay off of it. And," he added quietly so Lionblaze, who had one ear turned in their direction, "Do _not_, train in your dreams, okay?"

Lionblazes eyes turned to slits. Had he heard or not?

She sighed and flicked her tail, "Yes, Uncle Jayfeather . . ."

"I'm not kidding. My idiot sister might try to make you, but don't."

Hollyleaf's anger made Hollykit's fur spike, and she hissed through her, "I'm not an idiot."

"Yes. You are."

Hollyleaf didn't reply, so Hollykit did for her, "I'll stay off my paw."

He nodded and turned back towards his den, meeting Lionblaze halfway there.

"She's okay, right? And why were you talking about Hollyleaf . . ?"

Jayfeather flicked his tail. "She'll be fine. Her paws fine. She isn't injured anywhere else."

"And Hollyleaf?"

"I was telling her that she's as pigheaded as her aunt."

Petalkit jumped to her paws and raced over to her as soon as she entered the den fully. "What happened? Why were you and Cherrypaw fighting? With unsheathed claws! You could have gotten hurt! Is your paw okay? Well?"

"She challenged me to a duel, then freaked when I won it." Hollykit mewed, padding past her sister. "My paw is fine, no need to worry. Cherrypaw just can't take what she dishes out. And apparently that makes me a freak."

Petalkit followed her to their nest, settling down beside her. "What if Firestar delays your apprenticeship?"

Hollykit grinned. "For protecting myself? He could have stopped it. Any of them could have, but they watched."

"Well, can you blame them?" She asked, snuggling closer. "What kind of kit fights like _that?_"

"Me."

Petalkit giggled.

"Well you asked."

"That's not what I meant, stupid."

Sparrowkit poked his head up, awaking from his slumber. "I just fell asleep again."

"Sorry." They chirped in unison.

His eyes stayed on Hollykit for a moment, before flicking away. "You're weird."

"Why thank you."

He looked at her again. "Dad didn't teach us those."

"Nope."

He stared.

"I was creative. You know. It comes with imagination?"

His eyes flashed with sudden anger and envy. "You weren't that great." He snarled, turning away from them. "Don't think you'll be better than me when we're warriors."

Petalkit frowned at the back of his head, and Hollykit turned the other way worriedly.

"_Your brother might just have to be watched, Hollykit._" Hollyleaf meowed, voice echoing with the same worry Hollykit was feeling.

_Why?_

There was silence. Then:

"_Those with too much ambition generally tread wrong paths._"

**Edit: Took the lyrics out because they were against the rules. Please take the time to listen to the song or search it up.**_  
><em>


	4. Say Goodbye

**Skillet – Say Goodbye**

_Apprenticeship _. . .

The word span in her head constantly.

"_And it's just around the corner!_" Hollyleaf squealed in her head. "_It's like I'm becoming an apprentice all over again!_"

_That's because you are, in a way._ Hollykit thought in amusement, then added in her own mental singsong squeal, _Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow!_

Another half-moon had passed, and tomorrow (if you couldn't take the hint) Hollykit and her brother and sister would be apprentices. Firestar _hadn't_ punished her, but told her that provoking apprentices was bad and whole bunch of other chastising blabber she hadn't paid much attention to, not bothering correct him that Cherrypaw had provoked _her_ and had irrationally lost her temper.

"Stop squirming!" Jayfeather snapped.

She only squirmed more. "My paw is _fine_, I promise! It's been better for _days!_ Let me go and run around with Petalkit while I still have the chance to do stupid things without looking like a moron!"

"You'll look like one anyway," he growled irritably. "And you're not allowed to 'run around' with Petalkit. She has a bad cough, remember?"

She quieted.

_A bad cough . . ._

Jayfeather thought it was greencough or whitecough, but it was to early for that kind of illness.

Leafpool didn't know what it was, Jayfeather didn't know what it was, Petalkit _certainly_ didn't know what it was, and so Jayfeather was going to ask the other medicine cats at the next gathering – which was only a few days after her apprenticeship, Hollyleaf had no trouble reminding her.

On cue, Hollyleaf started squeaking again.

"Well then let me look dumb! And Petalkit hasn't been obeying your orders anyway, so," she paused, sticking her tongue out despite his not being able to see it, "_mneh_!"

He cuffed her over the head then shoved her out of his den. "Yes, your paw is fine, I just wanted to make sure you didn't overuse it."

She smiled cheerily. "Thanks, Uncle Jayfeather, bye!" She took off before he could reply. Lunging into the nursery with a yowled, "Dive-bomb!" she leapt into the air, landing heavily on Sparrowkit, who hissed loudly at her.

"What are you doing?" he spat, shoving her to the ground.

She grinned up at him. "_I'm_ having fun! What about you?"

"I couldn't breathe you idiot!"

"Sorry," she meowed simply, getting back to her paws and shaking out her fur. "Petalkit! Did you see that?"

Petalkit nodded excitedly from her nest. "That was awesome! He was _smooshed_ into the ground. There's probably a dent in it now."

Hollykit peered around Sparrowkit curiously. "No, I don't see one . . ."

"I didn't dent the ground!"

She narrowed her eyes and looked closer, sighing, "No, I don't think I did. I could try again . . ?"

"No you couldn't!"

"Nah." Petalkit mewed, waving her tail dismissively. She looked at her with desperate eyes. "Are we all becoming apprentices tomorrow?"

"It seems so," Sparrowkit answered. "Your cough hasn't been declared deathly, so you should be fine enough."

She nodded slowly. "I really want to become one," she admitted, "you two are so much stronger than I am, even though I've trained just as much as you have . . ."

Sparrowkit glared at Hollykit, but nodded. "There was that two moons you wanted to be a peacemaker and refused to do anything. Remember, you wouldn't play-fight and you ate grass saying that the mice deserved a chance too? It didn't last long." His glare turned into an amused grin. "You two are such morons. Especially Petalkit though."

Hollykit and Petalkit glanced at each other, shrugged, and in unison meowed, "Birds of a feather."

He blinked. "You two. Are. _Morons._"

They glanced at each other again, then grinning, said: "Birds. Of. A. _Feather._"

He sighed in exasperation. "You two and your feather _brains_. What's the whole saying anyway?"

"Birds of a feather flock together. Or fly together. Whichever." Petalkit answered.

"Well, you two are still mo-"

"Birds of a feather!" Hollykit cut in. "Yeah. We know."

He scowled.

"You three should get some sleep." Ferncloud mewed, shifting awkwardly around her kits. "Big day tomorrow."

"_Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow._" Hollyleaf sang mockingly.

"I don't want you to leave!" Frostkit cried, rushing forward and winding himself around Hollykit affectionately.

She shoved him away roughly, scoffing, "Keep your kit germs off me. _I'm_ going to be an apprentice."

He pouted.

Rainkit, getting up slowly and stretching, yawned, "You sure don't _act_ like one, Little Miss Immature." He trotted up beside her, plopped himself into her nest, earning a scowl from Frostkit and her.

"That's _my_ nest, Little Mister Immature." She growled.

He peered at her through half-open eyes. "You just indirectly said you wanted to be my mate."

She paused in embarrassment, before bursting out, "Who would want to be _your_ mate?"

"You, apparently."

Before she could retort, Dawnkit piped up, "Frostkit and Hollykit are obviously infatuated with each other, give it a break."

Rainkit's tail bushed. "Infatuated? Her? _Him_? Doubt it."

"We're friends." Hollykit mewed. "Romance is dumb."

Ferncloud grinned. "I used to think that."

"Yeah, and now almost every cat in the clan is somehow related to you." Rainkit deadpanned.

"That too is love." Ferncloud said in a scolding tone.

"That too," Rainkit imitated, "is gross."

Hollykit smiled amusedly. "We're only kits-"

"Ah-ha!" Rainkit interrupted. "I knew you were an immature kit like us."

"-Why are we talking about mates?" she continued, ignoring him.

Frostkit shrugged. "Random topics come up." He grinned. "We're kits, remember?"

Hollykit chose to ignore this too. "Hey. Get outta my nest. How would you like it if I took yours?" She snapped down at Rainkit.

"Oh," he paused and smirked slyly. "You're welcome to _my_ nest whenever you want it." He winked playfully and she smacked him over the head. "Just kidding. You're to ugly for me."

She sighed irritably. "Get out of my nest."

"I was just kidding. You're . . . decent looking."

"I don't care about my looks, or yours, get out of my nest. It's mine not yours. Out."

"But it's comfortable."

"Out. Now."

"But I don't want to leave."

"Are you two about done flirting?" Sparrowkit asked, glaring at them.

Dawnkit and Petalkit snickered.

"I'll help." Frostkit offered, grabbing his brother's scruff and yanking him up. "Out of Hollykit's nest, mouse-brain."

Rainkit stood, scowling. "I was just joking around, don't get so jealous." He shook his pelt, cuffed Hollykit's ear, and raced back to his nest.

"It's like guys and girls can't be friends. Which is dumb, because everyone is everyone's friend in the clan." Frostkit sighed.

Hollykit shrugged. "Thanks for the help, though. Now I can sleep."

"No problem. Nighty-night."

"See? Immature. That's why I'll be an apprentice tomorrow, and you won't be."

"Oh shush."

-_The Next Day_-

"I'm_ clean_!" Sparrowkit yowled, squirming away from Cinderheart. "I _am_! I didn't purposely role around in dirt like _they_ did! _I'm_ mature."

Petalkit an Hollykit glanced at each other exasperatedly, both mimicking at the same time, "_I'm_ mature!"

"_See?_ They are so . . . childish!"

"_See?_ They are so – childish!" They mimicked again.

"Stop it you three!"

All three at once, "But mooooooom-"

"No buts!"

"But-"

"No. Buts."

"_That's more serious, Cinderheart. Your mom used to be such a pushover,_" Hollyleaf told her in amusement.

"I only rolled around in dirt because it was the last time I could do something like that without looking mouse-brained," Hollykit whined.

"You did anyway," Rainkit deadpanned.

Ignoring him once again, she continued, "I can't believe it. In moments, I'll be an apprentice." She paused. "Wait. I'll have to share a den with _Cherrypaw_?"

Since the argument, and the declaration that Hollykit was a freak, they had avoided each other except for the occasional glare.

"Oh, _snap_," Rainkit meowed. "Have fun with _that_."

Ignored. "I wonder who my mentor will be . . ?"

"Stop ignoring me!"

"Wouldn't it be awesome if dad was?"

"Hey!"

"Parent's aren't allowed to mentor their kits," Sparrowkit reminded.

"But wouldn't it be awesome?"

"I'm talking to you!"

"Yeah, but he can't be. Don't get your hopes up."

"I wasn't, I was just- never mind."

"I AM TALKING TO YOU!" Rainkit howled in her ear.

She jumped away from him, bristling. "I heard you!"

He said something that she didn't hear.

"Great, now I'm deaf."

He walked around to the other side of her. "Can you hear out of this ear?"

"Yes. But I can't hear out of my other one."

"I numbed it with my amazing lungs."

"Shut up, Rainkit."

"Because I'm _that_ amazing."

"Shut up, Rainkit."

"And you're not."

"_Shut up_, Rainkit."

"When _I'm_ an apprentice, all the girls will be _all_ over me . . . Especially you."

"SHUT UP, RAINKIT!"

He stepped away slightly, then, in a mocking voice, said, "Oh no. I'm deaf."

"Stop flirting!" Sparrowkit snapped. "You two are so _stupid_!"

She glanced at Petalkit, then, both of them grinning, echoed: "So _stupid_."

"_Argh!_"

"_Argh!_"

"I'm going to rip your throats out!"

"-Out!"

"Die!"

"Die!"

"Leave me alone!"

"-Alone!"

"_Argh!_"

They both laughed and Rainkit gave him a look that was part-pity, part-amusement.

Petalkit smiled widely. "I hope my mentor is-" she broke off into a coughing fit, then finished in a rasp, "Dustpelt."

"Dustpelt? Why?" Sparrowkit asked, frowning in distaste.

"He's strict, so I'll get trained really well and be the best warriors ever!"

"I hope you don't get him," Rainkit meowed. "He's _to_ strict."

Petalkit shrugged. "Strict isn't bad."

"Oh yes it is."

"I can't believe you're leaving!" Dawnkit wailed. "Leaving me with _these_ two! _Gross_!"

"Don't mock your handsome brothers," Rainkit meowed breezily.

"I won't mock my handsome brothers when I get handsome brothers."

"_Sit still!_" Cinderheart snapped, grabbing Petalkit and yanking her over. "Why you two thought it would be a good idea to roll around in dirt is beyond me . . ."

"Sounded fun until I got dirt up my nose," Petalkit excused.

"Can't you three wait another moon so we can become apprentices with you?" Frostkit whined.

"No. I'm going to train my but off, day and night!" Sparrowkit proclaimed. "No one will beat me!"

"_And that's why I worry,_" Hollyleaf mewed. "_Day _and_ night? Um. Not good._"

"You need to sleep, silly," Hollykit said, hiding suspicion.

"Oh. Well, um . . ."

"That's fine, I'm sure I'll be dreaming of training, too," Hollykit meowed, grinning.

"Yeah . . ."

"I don't get that about you two," Petalkit mewed, frowning. "You're both so strong and know moves that Dad hasn't even taught us . . ."

"Yeah," Cinderheart agreed. "It's kind of odd. Maybe you two got your fathers strength."

"And here I am, a weak little sick kit," Petalkit sighed.

"Soon enough you'll be an apprentice Little Leaf," Cinderheart smiled sadly, using Petatkit's nickname.

"Mom-"

"Shush, this is an emotional moment for me and I might cry."

Silently Cinderheart finished cleaning Petalkit, moving quickly to grab Hollykit and running her tongue along her dirt laden fur.

The sad silence continued as Hollykit squirmed away, free of dirty fur and her mothers grasp.

" . . . You can still stay in the nursery with us, you know," Rainkit said at last, finally displaying the fact that he didn't want them to leave. "If Cherrypaw's mean to you or something, my nest will still be open."

Hollykit replied with a half-hearted, "Shut up, Rainkit . . ."

More silence.

"Wow, kit life will be over in just moments," Petalkit sighed. "Say goodbye to the nursery."

"Like I said, you can come sleep in my nest . . ."

"Shut up, Rainkit."

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather around the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" The call rang out through the whole camp, and Hollykit tensed looking up at Firestar.

The few cats that hadn't been waiting for this filed out of their dens and when Firestar concluded nobody else was coming, he started: "Sparrowkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Sparrowpaw. Your mentor will be Birchfall. I hope Birchfall will pass down all he knows to you." He paused. "Birchfall, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You received excellent training from Ashfur, and shown yourself to be brave and loyal. You will be the mentor of Sparrowkit, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Sparrowkit."

Sparrowkit and Birchfall touched noses almost awkwardly.

"Petalkit," Firestar began again. He repeated the traditional words, changing only a few words to match, and in moments, Petalkit was apprenticed to Sandstorm. They touched noses, Petalkit quivering in excitement.

"Hollykit,"

She swallowed roughly.

"You have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Hollypaw." He paused for a very long moment, and glanced at Jayfeather.

Jayfeather nodded slightly, eyes narrowed.

"Your mentor will be Lionblaze."

**TG: sir im afraid the comet is the size of your moms dick**  
><strong>TG: OH SNAP<strong>

**The "OH SNAP" thing is quite appropriate. That line was from Homestuck, the most confusing thing I have ever laid eyes on.**

****Edit: Took the lyrics out because they were against the rules. Please take the time to listen to the song or search it up.****


	5. Brother My Brother

**Blessid Union of Souls – Brother My Brother**

Instant yowls went up, and Holly_paw_ stared wide-eyed at her father, who stared back, equally shocked.

Firestar finished the ceremony quickly. "I am quite aware that parent's mentoring their kits is against-"

"You can't do this!" Dustpelt screeched, enraged. "You can't change _another_ code!"

"-The warrior code, but Jayfeather said that-"

He was cut off again by another howl, and Jayfeather quickly climbed up beside his leader.

"Silence!" He yowled, and at once everyone stopped. "I know this is against the warrior code. But it isn't a _choice_. StarClan wants this, and it will happen, whether you like it or not." Harshly blunt Jayfeather could always be relied on . . . "If Hollypaw doesn't get trained by the best . . . there will be a dear price to pay."

"_I didn't have anything to do with this, I swear,_" Hollyleaf said quickly, sounding baffled.

There was silence once again.

"Who . . . told you this?" Dustpelt asked suspiciously.

"Medicine cat business is no concern of yours, Dustpelt," Jayfeather said evenly. Before he could retort, Jayfeather hopped off the Highrock and waved his tail at her as a signal to touch noses with Lionblaze.

Stiffly, she stood up and walked over to him, trying desperately to ignore the tension. She touched noses extremely awkwardly with her father, eyes on the ground.

Firestar let out a relieved sigh and excused himself, walking into his den, hunched over.

"I'm . . . I'm going to go talk to Uncle Jayfeather!" Hollypaw squeaked, turning to rush towards him.

"I'll come," Lionblaze growled lowly.

Jayfeather, clearly expecting them, sat in his den, tail around his feet.

"Just what are you doing?" Lionblaze demanded. "I can't train my daughter!"

"It isn't up to us."

"_Who_ told you to do this?"

"It doesn't concern you."

"It _does_, Jayfeather! This . . . this is against the warrior code!"

"It cannot be helped."

Lionblaze looked infuriated by his calmness.

"Who, Uncle Jayfeather?"

"You know who, Hollyki-paw."

"No . . . she didn't . . ."

Lionblaze looked helplessly lost.

"It wasn't _her_. It's who sent her _here_."

Hollypaw's heart clenched with sudden pain that must have been Hollyleaf's. "_Scorchfur . . ._"

"He . . . requested this?" It wasn't Hollypaw asking, it was Hollyleaf.

"He insisted that this is what needs to be done." Jayfeather turned his attention to his brother. "I know this is hard for you – I can understand that. But this needs to be done. Hollypaw needs the best possible mentor, because she faces great danger."

"What do you _mean_?"

"I can't tell you. My knowledge is limited on this subject and only Hollypaw can decide if you need to know this. For now, it would be better you don't know."

Lionblaze looked up, eyes pained. "You two . . . my daughter and brother . . . keeping secrets from me . . ." Without another word, he rushed out of the den.

"He really contacted you?" Hollyleaf asked desperately. "Did he say anything about me? _Too_ me? Anything?"

He shook his head lightly. "He isn't allowed to have contact with you, Hollyleaf. Until this is over, you're with me and Hollypaw alone."

She slouched. "Oh."

"This family of ours only gets worse and worse . . ." Jayfeather sighed.

"What do you mean, Uncle Jayfeather?" She knew there were some things wrong with the family because of the looks almost all of her family members got, but what was so awful?

"Nothing. Go get your father and train or explore or something."

She padded out of the den slowly, not eager at facing her father.

He sat across the clearing, waiting by the entrance for her, but before she could reach him, Sparrowpaw stepped in front of her, bristling, mouth curled into a snarl. "Of course you got him."

"Huh?"

"Isn't it _funny_ how you were saying how cool it would be to get Dad as a mentor, and Uncle Jayfeather, _who favors you_, said it's StarClan's choice that you get him?" He stepped toward her threateningly.

"I . . . you think I plotted this?"

Lionblaze watched them from the entrance, frowning, getting to his feet.

"I'm saying you _did_!"

"I didn't . . ."

Instantly, he tackled her over, and she lay beneath him, eyes wide. "You think you're so great at everything," he hissed in her face. "But when I'm a warrior, I'll be twice as good as you, everyone will love me more and you'll be in the dust, begging me for mercy." He got off her just as Lionblaze, face twisted in shock, got to them.

"What are you two doing?" He demanded, glaring at them.

Sparrowpaw smiled innocently. "Just having a quick word with my sister. Bye." He disappeared quickly and he and Birchfall marched out to start training.

Lionblaze eyes flickered to her, earlier hurt gone, replaced with concern. "Are you alright? Why did he tackle you so suddenly?"

She sat up, head spinning with the revelation that it seemed her own brother hated her. "I . . . don't know."

What had happened to them?

**Yeah, small chapter . . . sorry?  
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**This mega-update good enough for you? It might be awhile before I update again, because I entered NaNoWriMo and . . . yeah, that explains itself. That and I need to start the next chapter, finish the next chapter and then find a song for the next chapter . . . it's a longer process than you'd think.**

****Edit: Took the lyrics out because they were against the rules. Please take the time to listen to the song or search it up.****


	6. A Dangerous Mind

**Within Temptation – A Dangerous Mind**

It swirled in her mind. _Her own brother hated her_.

"_Calm down, Hollypaw. There must be some misunderstanding._"

_Misunderstanding?_ She snarled at Hollyleaf mentally. _My own _brother_ just tackled me and pretty much said he wanted me miserable!_

"We're at the lake, Hollypaw," Lionblaze mewed from ahead.

He was showing part of the territory for her first day as an apprentice. The lake and the ShadowClan border to be specific.

Hollyleaf had squealed with excitement when she heard the ShadowClan part.

Hollypaw looked up from the ground, eyes focusing blearily onto the long stretch of water, and instantaneously her worries vanished, replaced with amazement. "Whoa . . ." she breathed. "This . . . this is the lake?"

Lionblaze nodded, looking amused at her reaction.

"It's . . . it's _huge_!"

"Yup," he agreed.

"I have to _cross_ this to get to a gathering?" She asked, somewhat mortified.

"There's a bridge, you don't have to swim."

"I bet I could swim," she declared, puffing her chest out. "Mom and Uncle Jayfeather can swim, right? So I can too!"

He grabbed her by the tail as she started marching to the water. "Don't. I don't need you drowning."

She sighed loudly. "I bet I have some RiverClan blood somewhere in me. I can totally swim! You just have to let me try!"

"No. We're going to the ShadowClan border-" the rest of his words were cut off by Hollyleaf's squeal of delight.

He nudged her away from the lake and toward where she suspected the border was located.

The pretty, shiny water now out of sight, her depressive thoughts returned, and she turned her head to the ground again.

And then the disgusting smell hit her.

"_Ew_! What _is_ that?" Hollypaw demanded, wrinkling her nose with disgust.

Lionblaze purred with amusement and Hollyleaf made an indignant sound.

"That, Hollypaw, is the smell of ShadowClan," Lionblaze explained, stopping after a couple of more steps. "This is the border that leads to their territory."

"That's right. So you better _stay off of it_," A voice hissed, and Hollypaw felt a wave of unsuspected terror jolt through her, and Hollyleaf moaned in pain then was unnervingly silent.

A black and white tom, followed by mottled brown and ginger tom and an apprentice-sized dark gray tom emerged from the bushes a few feet in front of the duo.

"Crowfrost," Lionblaze greeted distastefully and Hollypaw barely restrained a scream. "Redwillow, Rockpaw."

Luck sure was on her side today.

"Lionblaze," Crowfrost replied curtly, eyes flicking to Hollypaw briefly. "Who's the little twerp?"

Throat tight with horror, Hollypaw let Lionblaze reply. "This is Hollypaw."

Rockpaw flinched violently and Redwillow glanced away, breathing in sharply.

Crowfrost remained neutral. "Firestar break another code by letting her father teach her?"

"It was StarClan's request."

Crowfrost looked back at her. "Can't you talk?" A gleam entered his eye, and a small flicker of fear ignited in her, along with a wave of fury.

Curling her lip back, she gave him a look with so much hate that Lionblaze's eyes widened. "I hope you suffer," she spat viciously.

Rockpaw's mouth fell open with shock and Redwillow stuffed his tail in his mouth to stop laughter from leaking through, staring at Hollypaw with respect.

Crowfrost stepped back, eyes wide. "Why you little- teach your kit some respect for deputies!"

"You're not a true deputy," Hollypaw continued with a disturbed voice. "Hollyleaf will be deputy until she's avenged."

Now all of them looked scared, Crowfrost especially.

"Hollypaw!" Lionblaze snapped, shoving her back slightly.

Crowfrost snarled and whipped around, stalking away, tail shaking.

"Why- why would you do that?" Lionblaze demanded, baffled.

She shrugged, the rage she had felt moments ago vanishing with Crowfrost. "He had it coming."

Redwillow, who had been doing a good job of holding himself back, finally started laughing, loudly.

Rockpaw, still looking shocked, nodded at her approvingly. "I like you," he decided. "You've got more guts than most cats."

_Twice as many as I need_, she thought sourly, expecting Hollyleaf to make a comment.

Her mind was still silent.

"You might just be worthy of my mothers name." Rockpaw flicked his tail in farewell, glanced down at his hysterical mentor, and wandered away, shaking his head.

"Come on, Hollypaw," Lionblaze sighed and turned, trembling, back toward camp.

Redwillow coughed after a moment and looked at Hollypaw. "You've got attitude, kid. Hollyleaf attitude."

Hollypaw glanced back at where Lionblaze disappeared through the bushes. "I've heard that."

Redwillow grinned.

Her eyes flicked back to where Crowfrost disappeared. "I don't trust him."

"I don't either," Redwillow blurted then looked shocked by declaration.

She stared at him silently for a moment.

_Hollyleaf, where_ are_ you?_

" . . . You shouldn't." She turned away and quickly followed her father's scent.

She walked behind him for the rest of the trip back to camp, silence engulfing them both.

Finally, as they reached the entrance to camp, he paused. "What you said earlier isn't something you should say to a warrior, especially if he is a deputy."

"He had it coming," she repeated blankly, disturbed by the silence in her head.

He turned to her, frowning. "What . . . what _plagued_ you to say that?"

_The silence. The fury. The _murderer_._

"The look in his eye," she answered.

He stared at her blankly.

"The look of lust for my blood," she added. Bloodlust. It had definitely been the gleam in his eye.

He wanted her blood.

Lionblaze stared at her for another moment. "How could you know that look, Hollypaw? You were probably mistaken."

"No. I wasn't," she mewed certainly, and walked passed him and into the camp.

"How was your first day?" Rainkit, who was hovering in front of the entrance, demanded immediately.

She blinked at him. "I saw the lake and the ShadowClan border." She said simply, walking passed him, toward the fresh-kill pile.

"Meet any ShadowClan cats?" he continued persistently.

"The deputy Crowfrost, Redwillow and his apprentice Rockpaw." She flopped down beside Frostkit, who greeted her with a lazy tail flick.

"Rockpaw, huh? Bet he wasn't as handsome as me," he said, plopping next to her.

"Of course not," she dismissed with an eye-roll. "Looked kinda like you, actually. Except he had green eyes."

"Green is ugly," Rainkit meowed.

The green-eyed Frostkit coughed loudly.

"It just so happens that I _like_ green," she sighed. "The lake was a pretty blue-green."

"Of course you like green. You do tend to like unattractive things, such as my brother."

"_AHEM!_" Frostkit snapped.

"You know Rainkit, I like you too."

"I knew it."

Mouse-dung. "Don't be dumb."

"You said it, not me."

"I have changed my mind," Hollypaw said, abruptly sitting. "I hate you."

"I think I do to," Frostkit meowed, glaring at his brother.

"Hey, Frostkit, when'd you get green eyes?" Rainkit questioned innocently.

"You are a jerk."

"At least I'm a handsome jerk."

"More like egotistical," Hollypaw snapped, standing up. "I'm going to go have a nap."

"My nest is still open."

She ignored Rainkit and padded to the apprentices den, glad to see that three nests had been made for them.

Cherrypaw, who had been lying down, glanced up and growled, "I made you three your nests."

"Thank you," Hollypaw mewed curtly.

"Hollypaw! You're back too, huh?" Petalpaw said from the entrance of the den as Hollypaw walked in fully.

She smiled. "Yup, and ready for a nap! You too, huh?"

Petalpaw nodded excitedly, glancing passed her. "Ooh, those our nests?" Without waiting for an answer, she waltzed over to one and lay in it, only to jump back to her feet. "Ow! There's a thorn in my nest!"

Hollypaw walked to the nest next to hers, feeling around for a thorn, and grabbing it out when she found it. Discarding it beside her nest, she quickly searched Sparrowpaw's nest. "Got 'em. You okay?"

"Yeah, just surprised. It didn't get stuck on me." She licked her side quickly, then reached into her nest and plucked out a thorn. "Wonder how these got in out nests?"

"Yeah," Hollypaw agreed, lying in her nest, glaring at Cherrypaw out of the corner of her eye. "I wonder."

**Anyway, review if you please. I can't tell if you like this unless you tell me. I cannot read minds. I am not Kokoro Yome from Gakuen Alice. Which you should read. That and Homestuck.**

**See? I'm updating normally. I've even started on the next chapter. And have the next, like, five planned out. Soooooo... review, please? Let me know that you're actually still reading this and didn't leave when I didn't update forever.**

****Edit: Took the lyrics out because they were against the rules. Please take the time to listen to the song or search it up.****


	7. Breaking Out, Breaking Down

**Please read my A/N at the end of the chapter; it's important.  
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**Bullet For My Valentine – Breaking Out, Breaking Down**

She couldn't sleep.

Hollyleaf still wouldn't say anything, and it had been a whole day.

That and when she had woken up that morning, Cherrypaw had been awake and glaring at her. Sleep had now become a safety issue for her.

She sighed lightly and got to her feet, careful not to wake up Petalpaw, and double-checking to see if Cherrypaw was awake. When she was sure she wasn't, Hollypaw quickly padded out of the den.

Ivypool, who was guarding the entrance, glanced over at her, nodded silently, and turned back to stare into the forest.

"Why are you up?" A voice hissed next to her, and she turned to Rainkit quickly.

"Why are _you_? She countered. "You should be asleep, 'kit."

He bristled defiantly. "I don't need sleep."

"You do if you want to live."

He huffed, "Frostkit's paws keep twitching in his sleep. It's irritating." He gazed at her tiredly. "Your turn."

"It's too quiet."

He stared at her. "Too quiet to sleep? That's ridiculous."

"When I wake up, Cherrypaw's glaring at me. It's freaky."

There was comfortable silence for a moment, before Rainkit spoke up, "Tell her off."

"What? No."

"Yeah. Tell her to get over the fight. She challenged you and just because you won doesn't mean she should be such a dirt-bag about it."

She swallowed back an amused laugh. "I'm already on her bad side, no need to make it worse."

"Why? She can't do anything about it – you're clan mates."

_That doesn't mean she can't do anything_, Hollypaw thought, mind flicking to a story Hollyleaf had told her about a cat named Ashfur, who had threatened Squirrelflight's family because she hadn't become his mate. Hollyleaf had refused to give all the details of what happened, suddenly sounding half-crazed, and the topic had dropped. "I don't want anymore enemies than I already have."

"Enemies? You only have Cherrypaw and the other clans. Everyone has one cat in the same clan as them that they don't like."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I don't like you."

Hollypaw didn't reply.

"But in all seriousness, I don't like Cherrypaw either."

"Why?"

"She attacked you," he replied simply. "She challenged you, you accepted, you won, and she tried to kill you. That's unacceptable on many levels. You are my friend and attacking a clan mate is wrong."

She mulled this over. "You suddenly sound mature," she decided at last. "I saw you eating with Cherrypaw at sun-high, you know."

"Don't twist your tail with jealousy," he scoffed. "She only sat by me and Dawnkit and tried to talk to us. I ignored her."

"Oh."

Another silent moment.

This time, Hollypaw broke it with an awkward cough. "I'm going to go for a midnight walk."

She started to walk away from him, but he piped up with, "I'll join you."

She paused. "You can't. Kits aren't allowed out of camp."

Rainkit smirked. "Scared to get in trouble?" he challenged.

"Never!" she snapped quickly. "But I'd like to be alone."

He glared at her as she walked away from him.

"I'm going for a walk," she muttered to Ivypool. "I can't sleep."

"Be careful, apprentices shouldn't go out by themselves." Came the bored reply. In a quieter tone, she added something that sounded like, "Sometimes it's good not to sleep . . ."

She glanced back at Rainkit, who was still scowling at her, then padded out quickly, well aware that he was going to try and follow her.

As soon as she was sure Ivypool wouldn't be able to see her, she started running toward the lake. _Talk to me, Hollyleaf!_

There was nothing but silence in her head, and it was driving her insane.

She started to slow as she reached the lake, stopping at the edge of it, waiting.

"_Hollypaw!_" Hollyleaf's voice suddenly cried.

Not expecting this, she jumped a foot into the air and splashed into the water ungracefully. _I hate you_, she seethed mentally when she heard Hollyleaf laugh.

"_Try something for me_."

"What?" She asked aloud.

"_Find an object of any sort. A leaf, rock, twig, anything._"

Walking out of the water and shaking her wet fur, she located a rock and stood in front of it patiently, glad Hollyleaf had snapped out of her weird trance.

"_Focus on it and nothing else. _Nothing_._"

She stared at it in confusion, not exactly sure why she was told to look at a rock.

And then it lifted into the air and floated.

_It floated_. The _rock_ was _floating_. Rocks were not supposed to do that.

When Hollypaw stumbled backwards with shock, the rock fell back to the earth, clattering loudly on another, bigger, rock.

"_Yes! Yes, yes, yes! You have the power!_"

_What just happened_?

"_You made the rock float, genius._ _You have the same power I had! Do it again._"

"No," she answered, once again out loud.

"Who's there?" A voice cut through the air threateningly.

"_Oh snap._"

Hollypaw hadn't realized she gotten dangerously close to the ShadowClan border.

"I know you're there," the voice hissed.

A small rush of relief washed through her as she recognized the voice. "It's just me – Hollypaw." She stepped through some bushes and faced Rockpaw.

"Oh. You," he said simply, turning to a black cat behind him. "This is that cat that got our mothers name."

"_My kits!_" Hollyleaf howled, and Hollypaw ignored her awkwardly.

"This is my sister, Rosepaw," Rockpaw said, waving his tail at the black cat with green eyes hovering behind him. "Why are you here?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk."

"Us too," Rosepaw murmured. "But why are you at the border?"

"Just went where my paws took me. Why are _you_ at the border?"

The siblings glanced at each other, then said at the same time, "Just went where our paws took us."

She narrowed her eyes. "Right. Funny. Hilarious. Ha-ha." She plopped down.

"So . . ." Rosepaw started awkwardly, "why were you talking to yourself?"

"Oh, that?" A nod. "The voices in my head were telling me to kill you and I was saying _no_."

"_I was not telling you that!_"

"Okay. Should we run?"

"No. I was kidding."

"Ah," Rosepaw paused. "Good then."

Awkward silence.

"So wait. Then why were you talking to yourself?" Rosepaw questioned.

Rockpaw stared at her through narrowed eyes.

"_Nice going you idiot. You should've kept it the way it was – you sounding completely mental._"

Before Hollypaw could make a witty retort, Rockpaw tackled her over, green eyes shining with anger. "_Why_ can you hear our mother?"

Hollypaw looked at him through wide, terrified eyes.

"Rockpaw!" Rosepaw yelped, jumping at him quickly. "He . . . he doesn't know what he's talking about!" She yanked him away from her violently, looking mortified.

Hollypaw scrambled to her feet and away from the siblings. "How did you know that?" she demanded.

"He didn't!"

"Really?" Hollypaw sneered at Rosepaw. "He just heard what was in my head. _How did he_? Care to explain?"

"Our mothers voice was talking to you!" Rockpaw countered, "Care to explain?"

She and Rockpaw glared at each other, ignoring Rosepaw, who was trembling with terror.

"Rockpaw can read minds!" Rosepaw blurted at last then looked down guiltily.

"_Rosepaw!_" Rockpaw hissed, bristling.

"I can talk through my mind!" She added, either not hearing or ignoring Rockpaw. "Don't tell anyone, please."

Rockpaw curled his lip at her. "Your turn to explain, 'kit." He hissed tauntingly.

_Yes, lovely, I have to explain my schizophrenia-buddy._

"_I can hear you, you stupid piece of-_"

"There! She talked to you again!" Rockpaw snapped, looking torn between being hurt and excited.

"Insulted, actually," Hollypaw corrected blankly.

"Tell us why our mother is talking to you _now_ or will kill you," he hissed.

A wave a sorrow washed over her, courtesy of Hollyleaf. "_What happened to him? He used to be so sweet and sensitive._"

Rockpaw's ear twitched. "She can hear us, too?"

Hollypaw glanced around nervously. She had _no idea_ how she was going to explain this – and running clearly wasn't a choice by the gleam in Rockpaw's eyes.

"Run and I will kill you."

Exactly.

_Now's the time to help, Hollyleaf._

"_What, you think I know what I'm doing?_"

_YOU DON'T?_

"_I- err. Kind of? I mean, I think I'm doing my job right._"

_That's reassuring._

"Hey! We're waiting!"

"Um . . . your mom lives in my head?"

"What in StarClan's name are you talking about?" Rosepaw frowned.

" . . . I . . . don't know?" She struggled for words momentarily. "Um . . . your mom . . . was sent into me when I was born . . . because . . . I'm supposed to kill the cat that killed her."

They both stared at her silently.

After another moment, Rosepaw piped up with, "That doesn't make sense."

"You're telling me," Hollypaw sighed.

"So that's why your attitude is like hers," Rockpaw said thoughtfully.

"Sarcastic, witty comments are contagious," she said dryly.

"Apparently."

"So, let me get this straight," Rosepaw started, frowning. "Our mom . . . is _in_ you?"

"Yup."

"And _you_, an apprentice, are going to kill a trained, successful killer?"

" . . . That's the plan."

" . . . Are you stupid?"

"Yeah, but that isn't relevant to the situation."

"Yes it is," Rosepaw argued. "How can you possibly think you could kill a murderer?" She paused. "Wait, so . . . you know who killed my mom?"

_Don't think about you-know-who_.

"Crowfrost?" Rockpaw blurted, terrified.

_I am such a failure_.

"_Agreed_."

"I also agree," Rockpaw added. "Our own _deputy_ killed my mom?"

Rosepaw trembled fearfully.

Rockpaw scowled. "What's so special about _you_? I could kill him. Why do you get my mom?"

"_Because of your new found power, probably . . ._" Hollyleaf mused.

"Power?" Rockpaw questioned.

Somehow Rosepaw was following this conversation with ease.

"I-uh. Yeah."

"What is it?" Rosepaw asked excitedly. "I bet it's not as cool as mind-talking. I can only talk one-sidedly though. I talk to the mind, and Rockpaw reads it to get the reply."

"How many cats know about your powers?" Hollypaw asked, frowning.

"Just our mentors – Redwillow and Blackstar. So, what's your power?"

She let her eyes wander back over to the stone, and, concentrating hard, she made it rise into the air, and flung it at Rockpaw, who stepped back with a growl.

"Our moms power. Well, why don't you just take _everything_ from her," Rockpaw snarled.

"It's not like I _asked_ for this!" Hollypaw snapped back, fed up. "I would give _anything_ to be normal, to not have this fate, to have-" _A brother that loves me, a healthy sister; a father that trusts me, a mother that notices how confused I am._

Rockpaw's facial expression didn't change, so she decided he hadn't read her thoughts at that moment, thankfully.

She paused for a long moment, then continued with a deep breath, "If you can read minds, then you should have already known that he was the killer. You could have killed him a long time ago."

"Cats can barrier their minds," he explained. "Just a moment ago, I couldn't read your thoughts because a barrier went around them."

"Um . . ." Rosepaw interrupted. "I think . . ." she trailed off.

"Spit it out, moron," Rockpaw sighed.

"That we should work together," she finished quietly.

"_That's actually a good idea,_" Hollyleaf said thoughtfully. "_It would be safer._"

"Hollyleaf approves," Rockpaw mewed.

"Hey, shut up, she's my voice, I get to say what she says," Hollypaw meowed sharply.

"She's_ our_ mom," Rosepaw countered defensively.

"_Hmph_," Hollypaw sniffed. "I guess I could work with you two; Hollyleaf knows what she's doing." She paused. "Wait, not really. But if you two are willing, I'll team up with you."

Rockpaw scowled and avoided looking at the two she-cats, before finally growling a rueful, "_Fine._"

"So what should we do? We have powers, so we were obviously picked for something," Rosepaw mewed.

She heard Hollyleaf take in a sharp breath, then laugh lightly. "_There will be three kin of your kin who hold the power of the stars in their paws._" She was silent for a moment, before she started laughing loudly.

"What is she _talking_ about?" Rockpaw asked, shaking his head exasperatedly.

Hollypaw shrugged while Hollyleaf continued to laugh insanely at her own inside joke.

"_How confusing,_" Hollyleaf mused when she calmed down. "_Confusing indeed. Don't worry about it, I was just thinking of something. I'm sure it isn't relevant to this._"

"Weirdo," she and Rockpaw both scoffed at the same time, then proceeded to glare at each other again.

"We could, um . . ." Rosepaw started, and then trailed off again.

"You just seem to be _full_ of suggestions this lovely night," Rockpaw snipped.

Rosepaw looked around uncomfortably. "Um. If . . . Crowfrost tries anything, or we notice anything suspicious . . . I could message Hollypaw . . . and Rockpaw, you could get her reply so we know she heard . . . for safety reasons . . ." she cut herself off again, shuffling uncomfortably.

Hollypaw nodded slowly. "That could work. If you notice him looking at anyone funny, going out with only one cat, anything suspicious, tell me instantly, and . . . I'll do my best to help."

"Your best might not be enough," Rockpaw meowed pessimistically. "Make sure to train hard. I don't want you to die," he paused and she stared at him wonderingly. "Because you're my only connection to my mom, that is," he added hastily, sounding embarrassed at the slip-up.

"Um, yeah," Hollypaw mumbled. "I should get back to camp now . . ."

They both mumbled out things that sounded like goodbyes, and she quickly turned and started back to camp.

"_This is awesome,_" Hollyleaf decided quickly. "_Awe. Some._"

_Yes, wonderful. Dandy. There are no words to describe how amazingly . . . amazing this is._ Hollypaw thought sarcastically. _I'm teamed up with a nervous, stuttering she-cat and her jerk of a brother._

"_Excuse me?_" Hollyleaf snarled.

_Just telling the truth._

"_Just you_ wait_ until you fall asleep,_" she threatened. " _. . . They've become the complete opposites of what they used to be. Rosepaw used to be everywhere at once and rude beyond belief, and Rockpaw was quiet and shy._"

_Well that has certainly changed!_

"_Hey! Shut up._"

Hollypaw smirked to herself before lying down in some long grass. _You don't think anyone would miss me for the night, do you?_

"_Maybe Rainkit,_" Hollyleaf teased. "_But you should be fine. Gonna sleep out here?_"

_Yeah_ . . . she curled into a tight ball. _Cherrypaw's a freak._

Hollyleaf laughed. "_You have a way with words. 'Night._"

"GOODNIGHT HOLLYPAW!" A loud voice screamed in her head, and she flinched violently before realizing it was Rosepaw's telepathy.

_-Morning-_

"Hollypaw, there you are!" An alarmed voice woke her up the next morning.

She blinked and sat up quickly, facing her worried parents' faces. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep in the apprentices den," she explained, sitting up.

"It doesn't matter right now!" Cinderheart meowed breathlessly. "We've been looking for you!"

Hollypaw blinked. "I'm sorry, like I said-"

"Something's wrong with Petalpaw!" Lionblaze interrupted. "She's getting worse, and she really needs her sister with her."

A flicker of alarm spread through her. "What happened to her?"

Her parents glanced at each other. "When she woke up," Lionblaze started slowly. "She started coughing again. But . . . she coughed _blood_, Hollypaw."

At once, Hollypaw was racing back to camp, her baffled parents left to get back to camp on their own.

**So. Next chapter will be in Petalpaw's POV and will have the song 'Hospital' by The Used because… I listen to them far more than I should. Anyway, it's half written, so hopefully not a long wait. Hopefully.  
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**Please review, it won't take to long and… like I've said, I like knowing your opinion on what's happening and if you are still reading this. I'm updating regularly now…**

**Also, for warning, pretty much from this chapter on, this trilogy is going to get rather angst-y.  
><strong>

**IMPORTANT: Okay, so I've had this written for some time. Why didn't I post it until now? Well, first I couldn't find a song. But then some family issues got in the way. Let me make this short: My abusive stepfather is getting kicked out finally. He's saving some money, and then he will be gone. Until then I'm kind of scared to leave my room, cause, well, note the word above 'abusive'. So yeah. Life is complicated, but I'm going to do my best to continue updating. But with the complications, it may be harder to. Sorry in advance.**

****Edit: Took the lyrics out because they were against the rules. Please take the time to listen to the song or search it up.****


	8. Hospital

**Important: So, let me start off with saying that there are no lyrics in this chapter. Why, you ask? Well, I've been told a couple of times that it's against the rules, and even had someone PM me. I know this is against the rules. I do, believe me. But everyone does it. However, I don't want to get banned and lose my file for being ignorant.**

**So, instead of putting in the lyrics, I'm putting in the name in and requesting you listen to the song or search the lyrics.**

**I will be going through the old chapters and getting rid of the lyrics after I post this.**

**Song that inspired this chapter and you should listen to and/or search lyrics for: **

**Hospital – The Used**

**Petalpaw's Point-of-View**

"Honestly, Uncle Jayfeather, I'm _fine_," Petalpaw insisted, hiding irritation. So _what_ if she had coughed up blood? It wasn't like it was the first time; it was just that this time, she had been caught coughing it up.

"Who's the medicine cat here?" He snapped down at her. "Me. So _I'll_ tell you if you're fine or not."

"You don't even know what's wrong with me," she protested. "I'm not in pain," _Yes you are._ "I don't feel sick," _Yes you do._ "I'm not going to die." _Yes you will._

And she had a feeling he knew it, too.

Hollypaw's tail twitched worriedly. "Just obey him. He knows what's best," she said quietly.

Petalpaw flicked her tail, huffing with annoyance, "But he doesn't know what will help me – he's said so himself! What if he . . . poisons me, or something?"

Jayfeather snorted. "By giving you a few herbs? I doubt it. Stomachache at most."

"I wanna go out and _train_!" she wailed dramatically. "I'm not coughing blood anymore, so why stay here?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You might start again. So shut it and let me work in _peace_."

"I could take her for a walk, Uncle Jayfeather," Hollypaw offered quickly. "She would be in good paws, then, right?"

* * *

><p>He sighed lightly, looking thoughtful, before finally muttering, "Fine. But for StarClan's sake <em>be careful<em> and if anything happens, come get me immediately."

Giving her a triumphant grin, Hollypaw helped Petalpaw to her feet, mouthing '_Yes!_'

Jayfeather's tail smacked Hollypaw as if he had known what she did, and Hollypaw made a sound of protest.

"Bye you two!" Briarlight called after them as they scurried out of the den. Petalpaw glanced back to see Briarlight watching them enviously, ears flat against her head. Smiling sympathetically, Petalpaw waved her tail in farewell.

"_You really should listen to Jayfeather,_" the voice in her head mewed, "_He knows what he's doing._"

She couldn't remember the exact day the voice had come. It must have been the day before she became sick; a voice meowing in her head that illness would soon come, and that she need not worry.

But whenever she tried talking to it, it would never give away who it was or what it wanted.

She spared a glance at Hollypaw, who was looking up distractedly, and wondered if she heard a voice, too, and that was why she was distracted to often.

But if Hollypaw said no, she would look crazy, so she wouldn't. If Hollypaw could have her secrets, so could she.

_What happened to our family?_ She wondered suddenly. Sparrowpaw didn't seem to care much about Petalpaw coughing up blood, instead went out training while Jayfeather and Hollypaw watched over her. Hollypaw would stare off into space randomly, sometimes talk to herself and twitched violently in her sleep. Sparrowpaw did too, actually.

Maybe it was a thing that Lionblaze had passed down to them – Dustpelt had once mentioned that Firestar, Brambleclaw and Lionblaze always used to move in their sleep.

And Sparrowpaw hated Hollypaw.

She wasn't blind; she could see the hate in his eyes when he looked at her. Hate and envy.

Because Hollypaw was stronger, smarter, and faster than he was.

Something had caused a rift between them when they had become five moons old.

Hollypaw had started acting funny; Sparrowpaw had got sudden determination to be the best warrior ever; and Petalpaw had become sick, and the voice had come.

She liked the voice though. She –Petalpaw had identified the voice as a female voice – cared about Petalpaw's safety and pointed out plants that would make her chest stop hurting, if only a little.

"So," Hollypaw started finally, "where should we head too?"

Petalpaw paused thoughtfully, then, smiling, pointed towards the lake with her tail. "I love the lake."

Hollypaw beamed. "Yeah, it's really beautiful."

The silence returned, though this time it seemed awkward.

_When did these silences start?_

The same time as everything else.

Everything changed at once.

_And Petalpaw hated it._

"Um," Hollypaw started again, then stopped. So she noticed the strain too. "We haven't done this in awhile . . ."

_Had one-on-one time? No. We haven't._ Petalpaw thought bitterly. "It has been awhile, hasn't it?" She replied instead.

Hollypaw nodded, not noticing her sister's distress.

_In the old days, you would've noticed instantly._

"When we became apprentices everything started getting a bit time consuming," Hollypaw excused quietly.

_It was before that_. "Yeah . . ."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Hollypaw asked, facing her worriedly. "I could take you back to Jayfeather."

"Want to get rid of me that quickly?" Petalpaw meowed in a joking tone, though she wasn't joking.

Hollypaw grinned. "Well, you know me. I hate spending time with everyone." The distracted look came back into her eyes for a moment and then she looked annoyed. "We should hang out more," she finished.

"Um, Hollypaw, you're kinda veering towards the ShadowClan border," Petalpaw mewed in quiet confusion.

"Huh? Oh," she meowed in realization. "Sorry, lost in thought."

_As usual._ "Maybe Hollyleaf is haunting your body, trying to get back to her home," she joked lightly. "You were named after her, after all."

Instead of the expected laugh, Hollypaw looked almost scared for a moment, before smiling and laughing awkwardly. "Yeah."

Another awkward pause.

"If you're feeling up to it, we could race to the lake!" Petalpaw blurted suddenly.

Hollypaw's eyes widened. "If _I'm_ up to it? Don't you mean if _you're_ up to it?"

Accepting the challenge, Petalpaw flicked her tail. "On three."

"One . . ." Hollypaw started.

Petalpaw took up the count, "Two . . ."

They glanced at each other, then both at once, yelled, "Three!" And took off towards the lake.

Petalpaw ducked under a low branch, whereas Hollypaw leapt over it with a triumphant yowl.

_If she does reckless things like that, there is no way she'll win this!_ Petalpaw thought victoriously. Instantaneously, Hollypaw yelped and went down, face first. Petalpaw, now laughing loudly, kept running toward the lake. "Good luck," she called back tauntingly.

Hollypaw caterwauled an insult at her, stumbling to her feet awkwardly.

Speeding up, Petalpaw ducked under another low branch, arriving at the lake moments later – before Hollypaw.

She whipped around, letting out a triumphant call. "I'm here, and you're probably face-planting!"

After a few moments of waiting, Hollypaw arrived, pelt full of burrs.

"Not a word," she warned when Petalpaw grinned maniacally.

"What did you _do_?" Petalpaw questioned in amusement, tugging a burr free of her sister's pelt.

" . . . I clearly ran into burrs . . ."

"Yeah, I just wanted to hear you say it," Petalpaw admitted, smirking.

" . . . This isn't funny," Hollypaw growled when Petalpaw started laughing.

"Oh trust me, it is," Petalpaw replied, shaking her head. "Why didn't you dodge it?"

"I am sorry for being stupid!" Hollypaw cried dramatically. "I didn't see the burrs. I thought it was just a stupid bush. A stupid, stupid bush . . ." She paused. "Stop laughing at my misery!"

"I can't! That was so stupid of you," Petalpaw mewed between giggles.

Hollypaw made a face at her. "You're mean."

She only laughed harder.

"Stop! Stop laughing! It wasn't funny!"

"Oh StarClan, Mom is going to throw a fit when she sees your fur," she snickered.

Hollypaws eyes widened in terror. "Oh no. Help me get them out!" She reached behind her and started ripping the burrs out frantically.

"Stop, you're not doing any good," Petalpaw meowed, calming down. "You're ripping them out so fast that you're not getting them out properly; you're only getting bits out at a time, not a whole burr. If you do that, we'll be here forever, you have so many."

Petalpaw reached forward and plucked out one of the burrs slowly as an example, and it came out without leaving pricks behind.

"Lucky shot," Hollypaw muttered, pulling at the burrs at a slower pace. "I hate these things. I'll never get every bit out, and I'm going to be itchy all night."

"It's your fault," Petalpaw said calmly. "You were being reckless."

Hollypaw only made another face at her. "Do you think water would make these looser?" she questioned after a few moments of them silently pulling burrs out of her fur.

She shrugged unknowingly. "We could try it, if you're willing to get wet."

Hollypaw glanced at the lake unsurely.

"Dad told me you were absolutely sure you could swim. Are you doubting that now?" She tested.

Hollypaw was instantly on her feet, an air of defiance around her. "Of course I can! I can do anything!"

Petalpaw flicked her tail as her sister ran towards the lake with a battle-cry. _Was she always so arrogant?_ Again she came to the conclusion, _Moon five._

A few seconds later, Hollypaw was back beside her, soaking wet. "I can't swim," she deadpanned, sitting.

Petalpaw pasted on a fake smile. "I gathered."

"Ooh, you're just enjoying making me look stupid!" Hollypaw growled.

"Yep."

Suddenly, Hollypaw smiled. "You don't like me, do you Petalpaw?"

Her eyes flew wide with shock. "W-what? What do you mean?"

Her eerie smile grew, and she stood up. "You don't like me anymore," she sounded certain of herself now. "You dislike me – like Sparrowpaw."

"No!" She shook her head wildly. She missed how close they were, but she didn't dislike her sister! "I-I . . . birds of a feather, remember?"

The smile flicked off her face, replaced with a cold, hard scowl and dead eyes that were suddenly green. "Goodbye."

Hollypaw lunged towards her with lightning speed, tackling her to the forest floor and placing a paw on her throat. And when she opened her mouth, it wasn't her voice that came out, it was the one of the voice in her head, "_You're almost over._"

* * *

><p>Petalpaw awoke with a gasp, ears flat against her head in fear.<p>

"Are you okay?" Jayfeather asked, glancing up from a pile of herbs he had been sorting.

Right. It was a dream. Jayfeather had told her she couldn't go with Hollypaw, and Hollypaw had to go train, so she had a nap.

"Oh, uh," _no._ She shook out her fur. "I just-" again, the pain rose in her chest, and violent coughs erupted from her throat, blood flying out with them.

Jayfeather rushed over to her quickly, a helpless expression on his face.

When her coughs slowed, he pushed some herbs forward. "These should help your chest and throat . . ."

"You'll get better soon!" Briarlight said enthusiastically as Petalpaw chewed the herbs distastefully.

She lied a quiet agreement, staring at the blood splotches on the dirty ground.

_Just let it end . . ._

**Wow. Ha-ha. Petalpaw's true colors show, huh? She scares me. She is a dark, dark, cat.**

**Let me quote the song here;**

_**[Three cheers, you fooled them all  
>(Come on, now, hip hip hooray)]<strong>_

**Get it? She's a _liar._ She's one of the one's who puts on a mask;**

_**[Before I cross my heart and hope to die at all  
>Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars]<strong>_

**So no one will worry about her overly. **

**She's depressed. She feels like she has no one, like everyone is caught up with their own lives. Any of you ever feel like that? Cause I have. It's not a nice feeling.**

**Anyway, this whole chapter except for the end, was indeed a dream. Originally it wasn't, but I liked the whole Hollypaw demon thing. Creepy. Anyone remember when Hollyleaf went all wonky back in Come Clean? Ha-ha, the creepy scenes are always my favorite to do.**

**Did I trick you into thinking it was real? Briefly at least? 'Cause remember, originally it was.**

**And who is this mysterious voice, hm? All will be revealed, no worries. It may or may not be revealed in The Renewed Trilogy: One-Shots, instead of this. Read details for that on my profile, and please answer my poll. Reviews are appreciated, too.**

**Now, sigh, I am going to go through and delete lyrics...**

**Also, in case anyone has noticed and is curious about this: Yes, I am putting spaces in my ellipsis's ( . . . ) If you are reading a book, you might notice that that is how you do it. I prefer to be correct, so I am spacing my ellipsis's. Kinda looks strange, huh? Anyway, this A/N is getting too long, so ciao.**


	9. Wounded

**Here's my new system. I write a quote from a song that I think will suit this chapter at a point. Quoting isn't against the rules, I'm pretty sure (or maybe it is, they aren't very clear with quoting). My memory is dumb, so forgive me if I'm wrong. But so many people quote, anyway . . . Anyway, please listen to the song, or search up the lyrics, too. Another song that would suit this chapter is Wasteland by Earlyrise . . .**

_**I see you fade away from me;  
>I know you're struggling just to breathe<strong>_

**- Wounded, The Letter Black**

"It's not fair," Petalpaw moaned, giving Hollypaw a pitiful look.

Hollypaw grinned. "It's just for this gathering; you'll be able to come to the next one."

The pitiful expression didn't falter in the least, and she rolled over onto her back. "StarClan, take me now!"

Hollypaw shook her head at her overly dramatic sister, waiting for her to continue.

"But you're going! We're supposed to do everything together . . ."

She finally let herself feel some sympathy over the excitement of getting to go to the gathering that ThunderClan would soon be getting ready to go to. "We can't do every little thing together, you know."

"It isn't little!" Petalpaw wailed, flailing her paws in the air dramatically. "This is our first gathering as apprentices, and _I'm missing it_!"

Hollypaw shook her head again. "You are so dramatic. I'll be back soon, and I'll tell you everything, alright?"

"Everything? _Every_ little detail?" Petalpaw asked, sitting up and pouting at her sister.

"Every important detail," Hollypaw clarified. "Okay? I have to go now." She used her tail to point into the clearing, where the chosen cats were starting to wait to leave. "Will you be okay without Jayfeather?"

Petalpaw sighed loudly and nodded. "Just remember to come directly to me. You have to tell me as soon as you get back."

Hollypaw nodded again, walking out of the medicine cat den. "Remember, Brightheart and Mom are still going to be here, and they both have some knowledge with herbs, so if you hurt anywhere, get one of them."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah . . ." Petalpaw muttered. "Have fun."

Flashing her a quick, sympathetic smile, Hollypaw turned and joined the others at the entrance of the camp.

Cherrypaw sneered at her when she joined them, but Molepaw bounced around the two of them excitedly. "The gatherings are so fun," he said to Hollypaw. "The first is always the best, but it's still exciting after it, too."

Hollypaw nodded awkwardly. Molepaw was talkative and friendly, but also related to Cherrypaw, who happened to hate her.

On cue, Cherrypaw snapped, "Would you stop talking to _her_? Remember, she's a freak. At any moment a demon could leap out of her and claw your head straight off of your body."

Molepaw rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

Cherrypaw curled her lip. "You know, when we fought a couple of moons ago, she said that if I didn't calm down she'd kill me."

Molepaw turned to her with wide eyes. Then, narrowing them, turned back to his sister. "Don't be such a sore loser, Cherrypaw. Hollypaw beat you fair and square, and you putting her down and making lies about her isn't going to change that."

Cherrypaw's face fell. "She did! She said '_stop while you're still alive._'"

Molepaw gave Hollypaw a questioning look.

"I didn't," Hollypaw said simply.

Technically, she hadn't. Hollyleaf, however, had.

"_Sneaky brat, using loopholes!_" Hollyleaf laughed.

Cherrypaw turned away, bristling, just as Firestar appeared, and waved his tail for the chosen cats to follow him out.

"Anyway, back on topic," Molepaw continued. "It's pretty easy crossing the tree-bridge; I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of it."

"You fell off it the first time you went across," Cherrypaw meowed dryly.

He waved his tail, excusing the comment. "And I lived to tell the tale." He smiled at Hollypaw. "A talented apprentice such as yourself probably won't have much trouble getting across."

Cherrypaw quickened her step. "I'm not going to hang back and listen to you two _flirt_!" She spat. "You're both jerks!"

Hollypaw blinked at Molepaw. "Friendship with me is a bad idea."

He shrugged. "She'll get over it."

"No," she sighed. "I understand where she's coming from, though. I am a freak."

He rolled his eyes. "You're completely normal. Don't worry about her." He looked into the crowd of ThunderClan cats, where his sister had disappeared. "She's always been like that – since we were kits. She likes winning. If she doesn't, she throws a fit."

She didn't reply, and he didn't continue, so the rest of the walk was silent, until they reached the tree-bridge.

"Are you ready to try and cross the tree-bridge?" Lionblaze asked, approaching her. "It'll be slippery, but after the first time it gets easier."

She blinked, looking at the huge fallen tree. "I think I'll be able to make it." _After all, Hollyleaf spent all of last night making me walk across logs . . ._

"_I was helping!_" Hollyleaf snapped.

"Well, if you think you're ready, hop on," Lionblaze meowed, hopping onto it himself. "Come on, now."

Quickly, she jumped on after him, sliding her claws into the damp trunk so she wouldn't fall off.

"_Just keep your claws out and make sure you don't crash into any branches that haven't fallen off,_" Hollyleaf told her.

She started forward slowly, and behind her Molepaw chuckled, "You're so slow!"

Lionblaze glanced behind him at them. "She's doing a lot better than you did."

"Um," Molepaw muttered awkwardly, "it was my first time . . ."

"And this is hers."

Molepaw mumbled an excuse that she didn't hear, and remained silent the rest of the way across.

"You did very good," Lionblaze praised, sliding off the end of the tree and onto the island.

She couldn't tell if he meant that in a good way or in a suspicious way, so she just meowed a 'thanks'.

"C'mon, I'll introduce you to the other apprentices!" Molepaw said, taking off ahead of her.

"Hey, wait up!" She called, chasing after him.

"Hollypaw!" A voice whispered harshly to her right.

She paused in her step and turned. "Rosepaw? What are you doing in a bush?"

Rosepaw stepped out and grinned. "Waiting for you, of course!" When Hollypaw stared at her in confusion, she added. "I wanted to make sure you talked to us first." She turned around and scowled at the bush. "Come out, Rockpaw."

The bush rustled, and out stepped an annoyed looking Rockpaw. "I don't know why I went with you. You wanted to see her, _I_ didn't."

Hollypaw scowled. "Well, lovely to see you, too, Rockpaw."

He glared at her. "I _hate_ gatherings."

Hollypaw tilted her head, suddenly realizing he looked like he was in pain. "What's wrong?"

He glanced around unhappily. "There's to many cats. I can hear all of their thoughts at once, and it hurts my head."

"I'm sorry," Hollypaw mewed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He resumed glaring at her. "Not unless you can turn your, and everyone else's brain off."

"I didn't realize I was thinking anything . . ."

"You do it subconsciously," he said simply. "You're thinking of your sister, who's really sick. She wanted to come tonight, but she couldn't because she's been coughing up blood lately so Jayfeather didn't let her come. He's going to ask Littlecloud to check her out, because no ThunderClan cat knows what's wrong with her."

"He is?" She asked, confused.

"He's doing it right now. I can hear both of them thinking about it."

Hollypaw stared at him in amazement. "Wow, cool! What's Cherrypaw thinking? And my brother?"

He looked torn between being annoyed and being proud of his powers. "They're both thinking the same thing."

"Really? What?"

He stared at her for a long, silent moment. "That they should be training in the Dark Forest right now so they can be better than you."

Hollyleaf let out a long string of curses in her mind, and Rockpaw's ear twitched, but he said nothing.

"Oh," Hollypaw choked.

Cherrypaw, too?

That made Sparrowpaw and Cherrypaw, as far as her knowledge.

"_Oh StarClan, no,_" Hollyleaf whispered in her head.

_What? What's wrong?_ Hollypaw demanded mentally.

"_Frostkit's paws keep twitching in his sleep . . ._"

Hollypaw blinked. Rainkit had told her that only the other night. But what did it have to do w- _Oh._ He could be in the Dark Forest, too. _Mouse-dung._

Swallowing back her discomfort, she smiled at Rosepaw. "Can I meet the other apprentices now?"

Rosepaw nodded excitedly and started sprinting towards a group of smaller cats, who she assumed were apprentices, but just as Hollypaw started to follow her, a tail rested lightly on her shoulder.

Frowning, she turned and stared at Rockpaw curiously.

He avoided her eyes embarrassedly. "Everything will turn out fine for you. My mom knows what she's doing. With her as your guide, I'm sure you'll turn out fine." Without another word, he chased after Rosepaw.

She blinked, feeling awkwardly embarrassed, but followed the two of them nonetheless.

Rockpaw, Sparrowpaw and Cherrypaw blatantly ignored her presence, but Rosepaw quickly introduced her to the others. "These two are Furzepaw and Boulderpaw from WindClan," she mewed, pointing to a gray-and-white she-cat and then a gray tom in turn. "These are Hollowpaw, Troutpaw, Mossypaw and Rushpaw, RiverClan's apprentices." She pointed to a dark brown tabby tom, gray tabby she-cat, brown-and-white she-cat and then a brown tabby tom. "Me and Rockpaw are the ShadowClan apprentices, but Owlkit and Aqaukit will be old enough to come in two moons. And, of course, you know the ThunderClan apprentices." She finally stopped to breathe.

"Um, hi," Hollypaw mewed blandly.

Hollowpaw and Troutpaw nodded as a greeting, Mossypaw flicked her tail, Rushpaw smiled in a friendly manner, but the WindClan apprentices just stared through her with dead eyes.

"Hey, where's Whiskerpaw? Couldn't come cause he was in trouble?" Rosepaw asked, looking around curiously.

Furzepaw stiffened, and Boulderpaw cried out as though she had lashed out at him.

There was a long, tense silence, before Rushpaw asked quietly, "What happened?"

Before any of them could say anymore, there was a loud call, and everyone turned to look up into a huge tree that was holding up the four clan leaders.

Firestar nodded to a white cat with black paws – "_That's Blackstar._" – who stood up with an appreciative nod. "There isn't much for ShadowClan to report this moon. We had a small run in with the kittypets again, but they quickly learned their lesson, and haven't come back since."

He sat back down, and someone in the crowd scoffed, "And how many times has that happened now?"

A few cats laughed, a few cats growled, and Rosepaw grinned good-naturedly at the comment.

Blackstar, choosing to ignore the comment, flicked his tail at a gray she-cat. "All is well in RiverClan" – so this cat was Mistystar – "prey is plentiful and there have been no signs of intruders. We have one new queen, Swallowtail." Apparently finished, she sat back down, nodding to Firestar.

He stood up, eyes scanning the crowd. "ThunderClan has been fine. We have three new apprentices – Sparrowpaw, Hollypaw and Petalpaw." He paused for the cheers that went up for them.

Hollypaw, unlike her brother, didn't put on a proud look. She would be proud when she came to a gathering with Petalpaw beside her.

"Unfortunately, Petalpaw couldn't come due to a bad cough . . ." he went on to continue about how a fox had been chased off the territory by Lionblaze and Brambleclaw, but Hollypaw tuned him out, already knowing the ThunderClan gossip.

When the last cat – who must have been Onestar, leader of WindClan, because there was no one else left – she tuned in again, perking up slightly.

"WindClan has suffered a great loss." He swallowed and out of the corner of her eye, Hollypaw noticed Boulderpaw tense. "Whiskerpaw was found murdered last night."

For a moment, there was agonizing silence where Furzepaw buried her face in Boulderpaw's shoulder, and a few cats froze with shock.

Then the gossip started.

"_Another one?_"

" _. . . Hollyleaf was the last to be reported . . ._"

"_When will they end?_"

The control over her body suddenly left, and her paws started leading her towards the tree. _Hollyleaf, stop!_

"_I'm just gonna scare the murderer,_" she growled in reply. "_Remember? My green eyes show through when I'm in control._"

It wasn't as if she could stop Hollyleaf anyway.

"What are you doing?" Rockpaw hissed, running up beside her. He blinked and backed up a step when he saw her eyes. "You aren't Hollypaw."

"Nope," was her forced out reply.

"You're my mom?"

"Yep."

"Well, _stop_!" He stood in front of her angrily. "What are you planning?"

"Don't you know?"

"Too many thoughts at once. I can't make out yours."

Hollyleaf rolled Hollypaw's eyes. "I'm just gonna scare him a bit." She pushed past Rockpaw and quickly rushed past a few other cats so she was close enough to see Crowfrost.

He was looking at the gossiping, panicking cats with an almost delighted glint in his eyes.

She felt the familiar rage boiling in her stomach, the one she always got when she was near him or was thinking of him.

She locked her eyes on him and waited for him to notice.

After a few moments, he fidgeted uncomfortably, glancing around again unknowingly. When his eyes trailed over her for the second time, they stopped, staring at her uncomprehendingly. A look of terror passed quickly over his face, before he seemed to recognize her as Holly_paw_, the twerpy apprentice from ThunderClan that needed to learn some manners. He narrowed his eyes at her, curling his lip hatefully.

She stared at him in the same silently hateful way, before Hollyleaf returned Hollypaw's body back to her.

Crowfrost blinked, looking confused when her eyes changed back.

"Hey, you're Hollypaw, right?"

She turned quickly, recognizing the voice. "Yeah! You're Redwillow."

Redwillow nodded, eyes flicking past her, to Crowfrost. "That was a pretty evil look you were giving Crowfrost."

"I don't like him."

His eyes flickered with confusion, and he leaned down closer as though to talk privately with her in the middle of a crowd. "What are you hiding?"

She flicked her tail nervously. "Nothing that you don't know yourself."

Her answer must have surprised him, because he pulled back, frowning. "Now, how would you know what I know?"

She meowed quickly, "How could I _not_ know?" Without another word, she scrambled past him and over to Jayfeather. "Uncle Jayfeather, are we leaving now?"

Cats had started filing off the island slowly.

His blind eyes slid over to her. "You did something very stupid," he said simply. "Yes, we are going now." He turned to another medicine cat. "Will you be joining us, like I asked, Littlecloud? I really can't figure out what's wrong with Petalpaw."

Littlecloud nodded. "I'll just tell Blackstar. Meet me on the other side of the tree-bridge."

Littlecloud turned to head to Blackstar, and Jayfeather lead her back to the tree-bridge silently.

"Hollypaw!" A voice blurted.

She turned, only to have Rosepaw run into her.

"You didn't think you could get away without saying goodbye, did you?" She smiled.

Hollypaw grinned guiltily. "Sorry. Distractions."

Jayfeather flicked his tail impatiently.

"Um, right. Bye then! Tell Rockpaw I say bye."

"Will do." Rosepaw bolted ahead of her, jumping onto the fallen tree and gliding across it with ease.

Jayfeather waited for her to hop on unsteadily, then wander across in a manner far more careful than Rosepaw's before hopping on himself and walking across easily.

Hollypaw stared at him for a moment, awestruck. "How can you get across so easily?" she questioned curiously.

He glared at her. "Because I'm _blind_?" he spat.

"Wha-? No. I mean, everyone seems to get across so easily but I almost fell in."

He flicked his tail, sniffing indignantly. "It gets easier."

She nodded thoughtfully, before asking curiously, "Why are we getting Littlecloud to check Petalpaw? Is she that bad?"

He was silent for a long time, and just when she thought she'd have to ask again, he replied, "I don't know. That's why I want a second opinion."

They waited for Littlecloud silently, ignoring the other cats that wandered by them to get back to their rightful camp.

"Sorry," Littlecloud huffed, walking over to them quickly. "Blackstar was talking to someone, and I had to wait." His eyes trailed over to Hollypaw. "You're Hollypaw, right?"

She nodded shyly.

He smiled. "You're named after a very special cat, you know. She an amazing deputy, and friend."

She felt Hollyleaf's embarrassment at being called amazing, but pushed it back distractedly.

"This is no time to gossip," Jayfeather snapped. "I have to check on Petalpaw – and you do, too." He started towards camp, tail flicking worriedly.

Littlecloud, looking amused, followed him closely.

Hollypaw ran ahead of them impatiently. "I'm going ahead to check on Petalpaw."

Jayfeather flicked his tail to show he had heard, but didn't say anything.

She bounded past a couple of ThunderClan cats that were still on their way to camp, not bothering to acknowledge them, and burst through the entrance, aiming herself towards the medicine cat den.

Before she could head there though, Rainkit, Dawnkit and Frostkit popped up in front of her.

"How'd it go?" Frostkit asked instantly.

Hollypaw opened her mouth to respond, but Dawnkit cut in, "I bet it was awesome, right? It must have been totally awesome!"

"It-"

"You two are idiots!" Rainkit snapped at his siblings. "She was heading to the medicine cat den, she obviously wants to talk to Petalpaw first. Talk to her tomorrow."

Dawnkit's eyes widened slightly, and Frostkit shrunk down.

"It's fine, Rainkit," she meowed quickly, "but thanks, I do want to see her first." She smiled apologetically. "Tomorrow, okay?"

Frostkit and Dawnkit nodded rather guiltily, turning to the nursery, but Rainkit muttered, "You owe me," before following them.

Ignoring Rainkit, which had somewhere along the line become a natural reaction, she sped to the medicine cat's den, poking her head in and scowling into the darkness. "Petalpaw? I'm back . . ."

Amber eyes opened, shining through the darkness with delight. "Hollypaw! I didn't think you'd come," Petalpaw admitted. "So? How was it?"

She opened her mouth then closed it again, wracking her brain for words. "It was . . . fine," she said dryly. Petalpaw frowned so she continued; "Nothing interesting is going on in any of the clans except . . ." she trailed off awkwardly.

"Except what, except what?" Petalpaw demanded excitedly, unknowingly. "What happened?"

Hollypaw cringed. "There was a WindClan apprentice found dead last night." Her voice wavered and cut out momentarily.

Petalpaw stared at her, eyes wide with terror. "An apprentice? Oh StarClan, that's horrible! I-it could have been one of us!"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "I know. And, um, there was nothing else exciting that happened, but Jayfeather's coming with Littlecloud – the ShadowClan medicine cat – to come and see if he can find out what's wrong with you."

She was expecting a look of happiness, of relief. But Petalpaw recoiled as though she had stricken her, eyes widening in terror. "_No_! H-he _can't_ check up on me! If he finds out what's wrong . . ." Petalpaw trailed off, chest heaving as she fought for breath. "Hollypaw, listen to me," she panted. "I know what's wrong with me – someone, they told me – if Littlecloud finds out what's wrong with me-" her voice shut off automatically, and Hollypaw stared at her sister with wide, shocked eyes.

"Petalpaw, what are you-?"

Petalpaw backed away from her, shaking her head. "No! I don't want-" Violent coughs went through her, but she continued without even noticing them, "_I don't want to die._ Spottedleaf – she told me – I don't want this – I don't want to die!"

Hollypaw stepped toward her, but Petalpaw only stepped further back into the den. "Petalpaw, what are you talking about? Please calm down. What's wrong?"

"The medicine cat's den is right over here," Jayfeathers voice was saying, very close to the entrance to the den. "Petalpaw is probably with her sister right now."

Petalpaw looked around wildly for a place to hide, and upon finding none, sent Hollypaw a pleading look.

Before she could say anything else, Hollypaw was shoved aside by Jayfeather, who grumbled about her being in his way. His eyes flicked to exactly where Petalpaw was and he moved to the side to let Littlecloud into his den. "She's right there. I can't identify what sickness she has, so I was hoping you would know."

Littlecloud nodded and stepped towards Petalpaw, who was trapped in the den, unable to flee, though she looked like she would, given the chance.

"Cooperate," Jayfeather growled to her, sitting in front of the entrance of the den as though he knew she was planning on trying to escape.

Petalpaw sat still as stone, letting Littlecloud inspect her thoroughly.

After a disturbingly long amount of time, he finally backed away from her, frowning. "Let's take a walk, shall we, Jayfeather?" He glanced at Hollypaw. "You, too, if you wish, young one."

She glanced at Petalpaw unsurely, then followed the two medicine cats out of the den and into the forest, muttering to Graystripe, who was chatting to Millie on his way into camp, "Watch over Petalpaw for the moment, please."

Graystripe tilted his head, obviously confused as to why an apprentice was telling him to do something, but padded over to the medicine cats den, poking his head in to check on her.

She tuned into what Jayfeather and Littlecloud were talking about, stomach churning with worry.

"It's not green-cough or white-cough, as I'm sure you know," Littlecloud was saying, "she would have a fever if it was one of those. And she coughs blood?"

"On occasion. She admitted that it's been happening a lot lately, but she hadn't told anyone."

Littlecloud was nodding slowly, eyes narrowed with thought. He took a deep breath, gathering himself together. "I think I know what's wrong with her, based on what you've said and what I've examined."

He stopped, looking unhappy, and Hollypaw's stomach dropped.

"I'm positive that Petalpaw has lung cancer."

**Oh my God, I love this chapter. So much. It's cruel, right? But this is where the plot begins! I am so excited for the next chapter – I have waiting to write it for so long, I've had it all planned out. It'll probably be out sooner than this one was, because of my excitement over this. Seriously, I have the next like, ten chapters planned. It's insane. THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS~**

**Anyway, if you go back and read the chapter _Hospital_ then you'll see that Petalpaw has a voice. That was not part of her dream. If you put two-and-two together, you'll get that her voice was Spottedleaf.**

**Let me explain slightly:**

**Spottedleaf was sent into Petalpaw's head to let her know that she would die. Back in _Hospital_ she didn't know who the voice was, or what was wrong with her, but Spottedleaf told her after it, and she didn't want Littlecloud checking her over because she knew he'd find out, and she didn't want to worry anyone.**

**Do the lyrics I quoted make sense? Struggling to breathe . . . you understand, right? Lung cancer and all.**

**I will do my best to get the next chapter posted sooner than later. In fact, I've already started it!**

**Next chapter: _Evil Angel_.**


	10. Evil Angel

**Note: Had to re-upload as FFN isn't allowing this chapter to be visible... or maybe it's just me. But either way.**

**Inspiration song quote:**_**  
>Hold it together, <span>birds of a feather<span>  
>Nothing but lies and crooked wings<br>I have the answer, spreading the cancer  
>You are the faith inside me<strong>_**  
>-Evil Angel, Breaking Benjamin (Disclaimer: I do not own this song(Or Warriors.)<strong>

* * *

><p>Jayfeather frowned. "Lung cancer?" The word was foreign even to him, then.<p>

Littlecloud nodded grimly. "Her symptoms are it exactly, from what you've told me."

"Well, what can we do to help her?" Hollypaw butt-in.

His face darkened further. "The only thing you can really do is overdose her."

Jayfeather's jaw dropped with shock, but Hollypaw wasn't sure what 'overdose' meant. "You want me to _kill_ her?"

"What?" Hollypaw yelped. "No! No way!"

Littlecloud sat down, frowning. "Petalpaw is going to die. There isn't a cure for lung cancer. When I was being trained, there was one cat that had it. My mentor told me that he had only ever dealt with it when he was an apprentice himself, and his mentor had overdosed him so he wouldn't be in pain. The cat that I dealt with said she wouldn't do it, and died coughing out clots of blood, in agony. It would be less painful for her if you drugged her."

Jayfeather was looking into the forest, blind eyes troubled, but Hollypaw was shaking her head frantically. "No. No, you can't kill my sister."

Jayfeather, seeming to finally snap out of his shocked trance, sighed. "Hollypaw, it isn't up to us. It's up to _her_."

Petalpaw's voice rang through her head, "_I don't want to die!_"

Jayfeather continued, "She would still die in pain, though, wouldn't she? When cats have too much herbs they usually end up either very ill or the die with horrible stomach aches."

"There was actually a remedy concocted that makes it so they just fall asleep and their heart stops," Littlecloud meowed. "I'll tell you in case you need it," he continued to list off herbs to give, and Hollypaw stared, wide-eyed.

Was Jayfeather actually _considering_ this?

_No. No way._

Hollyleaf was muttering to herself, listing off herbs in her head, probably trying to find a way to save Petalpaw, and finding none.

"You can't," Hollypaw whispered. "You can't kill her."

Jayfeather glanced at her sympathetically. "It's up to Petalpaw, not us."

"She doesn't want to die . . ."

"Nobody _wants_ to die," Jayfeather replied. "They can feel like it. They can feel like the whole world is crashing down around them, and that being dead would be easier. But nobody _wants_ to be dead."

Hollypaw remained silent.

"Let's wait and see what she says. But first . . ." He hesitated. "We should tell your family." He turned to Littlecloud. "Thanks for telling us. I'll tell you what happens next time we see each other."

Littlecloud nodded, turning to Hollypaw. "I am very sorry," he mewed, turning towards the ShadowClan border. With a flick of his tail, he was gone.

Hollypaw looked after him coldly, before whipping around to face Jayfeather. "I won't let you touch my sister."

He sighed, choosing not to repeat himself again, and starting towards the ThunderClan camp.

Hollypaw snarled under her breath, following him at a distance.

"_Jayfeather was right, you know,_" Hollyleaf mewed. "_About not wanting to die. I think he was talking about me . . ._"

_What do you mean, talking about you? What happened with you?_ Hollypaw asked, genuinely curious.

Hollyleaf was silent for a while, and finally, just as Hollypaw and Jayfeather were walking back into camp, replied, "_Like he said. My whole world was crashing down around me. I tried to run from it by running into tunnels, but they started collapsing. I almost died, and that made me realize that I still wanted to live, even if I didn't know what to do._"

_Well what happened to make you feel like that?_ Hollypaw continued persistently.

Hollyleaf made a weird noise. "_What happened, happened. It's the past. Around ThunderClan it's like taboo, so I won't tell you._"

Hollypaw sighed lightly in reply, walking quicker to sit beside the warriors den as Jayfeather walked in to find her parents. She glanced quickly over at the medicine cat den; Graystripe was hovering a little ways away from the entrance and she could see Petalpaw's eyes glowing through the dark, looking straight at her, amber eyes void of emotion.

She swallowed and turned to the warriors' den as Jayfeather padded back out, her mother and father steps behind him.

"What is it, Jayfeather?" Her father sounded tired. "I peeked in at Petalpaw when we got back and she was fine."

"Petalpaw is far from fine now," Jayfeather said bluntly.

Cinderheart's eyes clouded over with worry, and Lionblaze's face fell. "What . . . what do you mean?"

Jayfeather sighed, looking up at the stars with blind eyes. "She's never going to get better."

"What?" Lionblaze looked like he had been offended. "That's impossible."

"It is far from impossible," Jayfeather said, keeping his voice deathly calm. "Littlecloud checked her out as well, because no one in our clan knew what was wrong. Petalpaw has lung cancer, and it's incurable."

Lionblaze was stared at his brother stiffly and Cinderheart was trembling.

"So what do we do then?" Lionblaze asked. "Will she still be able to become a warrior?"

Jayfeather took in a deep breath. "I don't think you're understanding how serious this is, Lionblaze."

Lionblaze was looking at the ground now.

"Petalpaw isn't going to live long enough to become a warrior."

Cinderheart let out an ear-piercing shriek of pain, and Hollypaw barely heard her father make a choking noise.

Cats peered out of their dens, some looking ready for battle, others looking confused. Petalpaws face had disappeared back into the medicine cats den and Graystripe, who had been heading to the warriors den, jumped in fright. Sparrowpaw looked out of the apprentices den, then bolted over to them, looking scared.

"What? What's going on?" he asked, looking between them in alarm.

Cinderhearts legs buckled, and she collapsed, sobs wracking through her.

Sparrowpaw looked beyond terrified when no one offered him an explanation to what was happening.

"No, no, no, not Little Leaf," Cinderheart choked. "Please, StarClan, no . . ."

Hollypaw leaned towards Sparrowpaw and whispered, "Petalpaw is going to die."

His face blanked completely, and he stepped back from her. "No way. It's just a cough. No way," he repeated.

* * *

><p>"I'm preparing the herbs now," Jayfeather murmured. "You two should go out for a while."<p>

Petalpaw looked up at Hollypaw questioningly.

"Let's go," Hollypaw coughed. "This is the last time that we'll—" her voice cut out, and she breathed in deeply. "If you want to go, that is."

She nodded, getting to her paws. "Of course. I want to see the forest once more."

Hollypaw nodded stiffly, walking out of Jayfeather's den, and out into the sunlight.

From all sides of camp, cats turned as they walked by.

They walked past all of them, Hollypaw not sparing a glance at them and their watchful eyes, but Petalpaw glanced around uncomfortably.

When they were out in the forest, some of Hollypaw's tenseness dissipated, and she sighed deeply. "This is the last time," she meowed again.

Petalpaw nodded, looking down.

"There's some things I want to tell you," she continued quietly. "If you'll listen."

Petalpaw glanced up at her, eyes full of sorrow. "I'll always listen to what you have to say, Hollypaw. You know that."

She swallowed and rasped, "I know. Will you believe what I tell you?"

Petalpaw looked at her for a long time, before smiling ruefully. "I already know about your destiny, Hollypaw."

"W-what?" she sputtered, stepping back slightly.

"I know you weren't ever supposed to tell anyone about Hollyleaf," she continued, waving her tail. "So I appreciate that you were going to. But I already know."

She expected Hollyleaf to make a comment, but there was only silence.

"You know . . . ?" Hollypaw whispered. "But . . . how?"

Petalpaw glanced around conspiringly. "You aren't the only one with a voice." Quietly, so quietly that Hollypaw almost missed it, she added, "And neither is Sparrowpaw."

"What?" she asked, wondering if she heard her wrong.

An obviously fake smile. "Nothing. You'll find out one day."

_Or you could tell me now,_ she resisted the urge to say. "Are you sure you want to go through with the overdose?" she whispered instead.

Petalpaw nodded grimly. "Spottedleaf – she's my voice – told me that this is what was supposed to happen."

_Can't you just defy StarClan's choice?_ She wanted to plead. _Don't leave me . . ._

Sure, they hadn't been as close as usual, because both of them were keeping secrets from each other, but that didn't mean a part of Hollypaw wasn't going to die with her sister.

"I'm really sorry my life has to end this way," she continued. "But when I'm in StarClan, I won't be in pain, right? And I'll never really leave you. I'll try and talk to Jayfeather, and somehow get to you as well."

She remained silent, because she knew if she opened her mouth, she'd break.

"Please don't be sad." She paused, her eyes darkening. "When I'm gone, don't do anything stupid, okay?"

Hollypaw sniffed. "I can't promise you that – my whole destiny is stupid."

Petalpaw nodded. "That's true. But you know what I meant anyway, right?"

She nodded.

Petalpaw looked around the forest sadly. "There's nothing else to say, is there?"

Hollypaw swallowed painfully. "I love you . . ."

Petalpaw smiled bitterly. "I love you, too." She lifted her tail up. "Birds," she started.

Hollypaw coughed, lifting her tail to cross with Petalpaw's. "Of a feather."

With no more words to be spoken, they turned back towards camp with each other for the last time.

Hollypaw tensed when they entered, and all the eyes were on them again.

Petalpaw walked past everyone without glancing at any of them, heading straight to the medicine cats den again.

Hollypaw managed to lift her eyes from the ground to look at her family, who were huddled in a small circle by the fresh-kill pile. Cinderheart stared at her, and when Hollypaw nodded, she looked like she was going to come over for final goodbyes, but Lionblaze rested his tail on her side and whispered something, and she sat back down with dead eyes.

Lionblaze mouthed, '_I'm sorry. But she won't be able to handle it._'

Hollypaw nodded at him and looked at Sparrowpaw, but he was staring at the ground with haunted eyes.

She swallowed hard again, and followed Petalpaw the rest of the way into Jayfeather's den.

"—you should just fall asleep. You won't wake up again, and Littlecloud said it should be painless. I'm sorry. Are you sure you want to do this?" Jayfeather was saying.

Petalpaw hesitated, glancing at Hollypaw, but nodded after a second, saying, "I'm sure."

Jayfeather hesitated this time, before pushing forward a mixture of herbs. "Just eat this when you're ready. Do you want Hollypaw and me to stay with you?"

She stared at the herbs for a moment. "Just Hollypaw."

Jayfeather nodded understandingly. "I'll wait outside." Walking past Hollypaw, he added quietly, "Come get me if you need too."

She flicked her tail slightly to show she had heard, and watched silently as Petalpaw started eating the laid out herbs.

When she was done, she lay down in the nest she had been using for the last few days, staring at Hollypaw defeatedly.

Still, they said nothing to each other.

Petalpaw's eyes drooped.

Hollypaw breathed in sharply.

In moments, her breathing slowed, and her body started convulsing, but her eyes didn't open.

And they never did again.

* * *

><p><strong>I really really really want you guys to search up the lyrics or listen to this song. This song is the whole reason this story exists, really.<strong>

**[_Put me to sleep, Evil Angel,_]  
>Jayfeather is the 'Evil Angel'. Or maybe Hollypaw is. I guess both of them.<strong>

**[_Why can't I breathe, Evil Angel?_]  
>I think that speaks for itself.<strong>

**Sorry for the late update. I got _very_ distracted writing on my other file. (Plus I told my best friend I was going to start writing an original story.) But I hope it was worth the wait (It probably wasn't).**

**The next chapter is either going to be called How to Save a Life (The Fray) or Until the End (Avenged Sevenfold), and it will be in Rainkit/paw's POV. If anyone's interested in the summary for book three, it's on my profile. If you look at it, answer my poll, please?  
><strong>

**Also, is putting the lyrics in the beginning against the rules? Is quoting in general against the rules? I'm just curious, because I don't want to be breaking the rules, and either I missed it, or it doesn't specifically say not to . . .**


	11. How to Save a Life

**Inspirational song quote:_  
>Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend<br>Somewhere along in the bitterness  
>And I would have stayed up with you all night<br>Had I known how to save a life . . .  
><em>-How to Save a Life, The Fray  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Rainpaw's POV<strong>

From across the camp, Rainpaw watched Hollypaw prod at her uneaten mouse, waiting for her to notice that he'd just been apprenticed.

Nothing.

Not a thing.

She didn't even notice when everyone else started cheering for him and his siblings.

He sighed lightly, not really caring about anybody else's reaction.

Frostpaw nudged him lightly. "Cherrypaw's cheering your name the loudest," he whispered.

As if he actually cared what _Cherrypaw_ thought or did.

"I think she likes you," he continued.

Ew.

"That's gross."

A flicker of amusement crossed Frostpaw's face, before it darkened again. "I know you wanted Hollypaw to be cheering the loudest. I was hoping she would too."

Rainpaw scoffed, "Like I care what Hollypaw says or does."

He was not about to admit that seconds ago, all he'd been thinking about was how she wasn't cheering.

Frostpaw flicked his tail exasperatedly. "Denial's unhealthy. Just admit it, you want Hollypaw to notice you."

He curled his lip. "And_ why_ would I want _her_ to notice me?"

He smiled lightly and shook his head, turning his attention to his new mentor, who was approaching. "I'll talk to you later, Cloudtail will probably want to start training me now."

Rainpaw flicked his tail in a small farewell gesture, turning to his own mentor, Brambleclaw. He should've been gloating about getting the deputy as a mentor, but it was only fun to gloat to Hollypaw, and she was zoned out again. "What are we doing first?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lionblaze walk over to his only daughter, and she glanced up at him, before they both walked out of camp to train.

"Rainpaw, pay attention to me, not Hollypaw," Brambleclaw meowed.

His attention turned back to him immediately. "Sorry, it's just . . ."

He nodded. "Young love."

"No!" Rainpaw blurted quickly, feeling hot under his fur. "I'm just worried about her. She's been acting all wonky since Petalpaw—" the word wouldn't come out.

"She was very close to her sister, naturally it is affecting her," Brambleclaw said calmly, but his eyes flashed with sorrow. Not one cat had got away without feeling unhappy about the happy, energetic cat that had once been Petalpaw. "Enough of this. It's time to start your apprenticeship officially." He glanced over at Dawnpaw and her mentor. "Squirrelflight, did you want to show Dawnpaw the territory with Rainpaw and I?"

Squirrelflight, apparently taken aback by the small gesture, gaped stupidly. "H-huh? Together? With _you_?"

Brambleclaw looked faintly amused. "Yes, with me. And Rainpaw."

"I—okay." She looked so stupefied that Dawnpaw snorted.

"Alright, then let's go." He gestured toward the entrance of the camp, and started toward it, Rainpaw sticking to his side.

"Is ThunderClan's territory very big?" Rainpaw questioned, letting his curiosity take over.

Brambleclaw nodded absentmindedly. "We've got a fair amount of territory. We've had some spats with ShadowClan about some space by their territory." He snorted. "I think it's a waste of blood. The territory is barely worth it," he sighed. "The fighting calmed down because of the murder of Scorchfur. They think a clan-mate killed him."

Rainpaw shuddered. Getting killed by a clan-mate? That was low.

"All of the clan's are determined on finding the killer, because they also killed ShadowClan's former deputy . . ." A look of pain flicked across his pain, and when Rainpaw glanced behind him, he saw Squirrelflight with the same expression. "Hollyleaf. I'm sure you've heard about her."

He nodded. "Lionblaze and Jayfeather's sister. Hollypaw was named after her. She was your daughter, wasn't she?"

Brambleclaw's face darkened, and he didn't reply, so Rainpaw let it drop.

Glancing back at his sister and Squirrelflight, he noticed that Squirrelflight's face was almost as dark as his new mentors.

He turned forward again quickly. "When Hollypaw was a kit, she whispered Hollyleaf's name in her sleep sometimes." He remembered suddenly.

Brambleclaw blinked. "Really? I wonder if she had a dream from StarClan."

He shrugged. "She's not _that_ special."

Brambleclaw smiled and shook his head in a rather knowing manner.

"She's not," he grumbled in annoyance.

"Stop being a brat, Rainpaw," Dawnpaw meowed good-naturedly.

"I am not being a brat!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are _too_!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

Brambleclaw stuffed his tail in Rainpaw's mouth before he could counter.

Squirrelflight looked amused and Dawnpaw stuck her tongue out.

"You're an apprentice now," Brambleclaw meowed. "Don't act like a kit."

"You acted like a kit when you were a warrior," Squirrelflight scoffed at him.

"I did not!" Brambleclaw fired back. "I was a perfect example."

"Oh, please."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Hypocrite," Rainpaw whispered to Dawnpaw, watching as Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw started arguing heatedly.

"Let them have their fun," Dawnpaw sighed. "They don't usually get along. It's kind of nice seeing them together."

They walked in silence, ignoring their bickering mentors, until Brambleclaw finally paused in his arguments to say, "This is the WindClan border."

"Smells weird," Dawnpaw mumbled.

Rainpaw nodded agreement.

"A little ways down, we'll be at the lake. Then we'll go to the ShadowClan border and back to camp so you guys can rest up for tomorrow, alright?" Squirrelflight asked.

Dawnpaw nodded, bounding ahead; Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight started arguing again; Rainpaw rolled his eyes, trailing behind the two warriors exasperatedly.

After a while, he heard Dawnpaw meow in loud awe, "Wow!"

Perking up slightly, he caught up to her and the mentors.

"This is the lake," Brambleclaw mewed. "If you look, you'll see the island. That's where our gatherings are held. You have to cross a fallen tree to get to it, though."

Dawnpaw looked amazed, but Rainpaw just saw a lot of water.

"It's just water. What's so special about it?" he asked, annoyed.

"There's . . . so much of it!" Dawnpaw blurted. "It's pretty!"

He looked back at it. Hollypaw had said it was pretty too.

Yet to him, it was still just water.

Blue-green water, as Hollypaw had said.

Nothing special.

"Well, let's continue," Brambleclaw coughed after a moment.

They continued along the shore, Dawnpaw, still glancing at the lake with googly eyes every other second, until finally Dawnpaw coughed. "Ew, what's that smell?"

Squirrelflight smirked. "ShadowClan. You'll get used to the stink."

"I don't think so," Dawnpaw whispered.

"We don't smell," a new voice interrupted. "If anyone, that's you."

Rainpaw glanced up into the faces of three ShadowClan cats. The one that had talked – a tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes – smiled at them.

"Hey, Tawnypelt!" Brambleclaw meowed happily.

Squirrelflight waved her tail slightly, looking somewhat awkward.

Rainpaw glanced at the other two. They were about his size, so he decided they were probably apprentices as well.

"Hi," Dawnpaw greeted excitedly.

The male – a dark gray cat with green eyes – spoke first. "Hello."

The black she-cat with identical green eyes meowed, "Hi there."

Rainpaw said nothing.

"I'm Dawnpaw!" she continued happily.

"Rosepaw," the she-cat, Rosepaw apparently, mewed. "This is my brother, Rockpaw."

_Rockpaw._

The name was familiar, and he remembered that Hollypaw had mentioned him after her first outing.

Rosepaw and Dawnpaw started talking, and Tawnypelt was still talking to his clan-mates, so he awkwardly sat next to Rockpaw, only the border separating them.

After moments of silence, Rockpaw finally asked, "How is Hollypaw? I haven't seen her for almost a whole moon."

"She's miserable," he replied curtly.

Rockpaw nodded. "Her sister died. And she watched."

Rainpaw looked at him confusedly.

"I heard already. Rumors."

Rainpaw nodded. "Yes. She hasn't been herself since."

Rockpaw glanced at the warriors again, seeing that they were finishing their chat. "Please tell her I hope to see her at the next gathering."

Rainpaw gritted his teeth, nodding. "Why does she matter so much to you?" he blurted.

Rockpaw smirked. "Why does it bother you that I care?" he countered.

Rainpaw said nothing.

"I care about her," Rockpaw continued. "She's my friend, and she's very important."

"You're in different clan's," Rainpaw felt the need to remind.

Rockpaw looked unfazed. "I know." He looked at Tawnypelt momentarily as she started to tell Rosepaw that it was time to leave. Another smirk formed, and he whispered, "You'd be surprised at the amount of forbidden loves there are."

Without another word, he turned and padded off with the other two as they started to leave.

Rainpaw felt his fur bristle as he stalked after his mentor.

How _dare_ somebody say something like that? About _Hollypaw_! She wasn't possibly stupid enough to like a cat from another clan, was she? Of course she wasn't!

And _why_ did this bother him so much? How dare it bother him so much! Why should he care what stupid mistakes Hollypaw could make are?

He blinked when he realized that they were approaching the entrance to camp again.

Had he seriously been thinking about a comment as stupid as that one all the way back to camp?

Apparently so.

He tuned into what Brambleclaw was saying. "Tomorrow I'll show you around a bit more and start teaching you hunting techniques." He glanced at Squirrelflight. "Maybe Dawnpaw and her mentor will join us again?"

Squirrelflight looked baffled, but nodded after a moment, whispering, "I'd like that."

Rainpaw rolled his eyes, walking into camp fully, and looking around, suddenly realizing how tired he had grown.

His eyes rested on Hollypaw, who was back by the fresh-kill pile, still not eating anything.

Cherrypaw was a little ways away from her, sending her infuriated glances every few seconds.

Instantly, he started toward Hollypaw. "Hey, fur-ball," he greeted.

She blinked at him, eyes focusing on him blearily. "Oh. Hey, Rainkit."

Rain_kit_? She really hadn't been paying attention.

He flicked his tail. "I'm an apprentice now, fur-ball."

She blinked twice. "What? When?"

"Since earlier, freak," Cherrypaw sneered, stalking over. "If you had been paying attention, you'd know that Rainpaw is apprenticed to Brambleclaw, Dawnpaw to Squirrelflight, and Frostpaw to Cloudtail."

Hollypaw frowned. "I'm sorry, Rainpaw. I must have been half-asleep or something."

"It's fine," he brushed off. "Lay off, Cherrypaw. She didn't doing anything wrong."

Cherrypaw scowled. "I was just telling her what happened. I care enough about you to pay attention, Rainpaw."

Ew. Gross.

Frostpaw might've been right with his earlier statement.

"I don't care. I came over to talk to Hollypaw, not you."

Cherrypaw huffed and stalked away.

Hollypaw was frowning slightly. "Cherrypaw seems to like you."

He blinked. She sounded bitter.

"Frostpaw thinks she likes me."

Hollypaw's frown deepened, before she seemed to snap out of her thoughts. "Who would like you?"

"As I do recall, you yourself said you liked me once."

"I meant as friends," she defended.

He rolled his eyes, and they sat in momentary silence.

"Rockpaw said he hopes to see you at the gathering," he admitted grudgingly. He watched closely for her reaction.

Hollypaw blinked. "Rockpaw? I forgot about him."

_Well, he certainly didn't forget about you._

She continued, "It would be nice to see him again, too, I suppose. You went to the ShadowClan border?"

He nodded.

"Congrats on getting Brambleclaw as your mentor, by the way."

He smirked.

Time for gloating.

"Well, I definitely deserve the deputy, don't I? I mean, how could I _not_ get him?"

She rolled her eyes, and for a moment, they were back to their old bickering selves. "Whatever. How was your first time out of camp?"

"Fine," he dismissed with a wave of his tail. "We went to the WindClan border, the lake, and the ShadowClan border."

She nodded. "Isn't the lake pretty?"

He shrugged. "It's just a big, deep puddle. Nothing special. Dawnpaw liked it, though."

She blinked. "You went with Dawnpaw? And her mentor was Squirrelflight, right?"

He nodded. "Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight just chatted the whole time." He rolled his eyes.

She was silent for a moment, looking distracted, before she finally said, "It's nice that they're back on talking terms. I thought Brambleclaw would never forgive her."

He blinked. "Forgive her for what?"

She looked distracted again, before she shook her pelt. "Um . . . I'm going to go to the apprentices den now."

He blinked.

"Oh, hey, did you have a nest made yet?" she asked curiously. "If not I'll—"

"_I_ already made three nests for them," Cherrypaw snapped.

She nodded and said, not unkindly, "Alright, thanks." She flicked her tail and walked

Rainpaw grabbed a mouse out of the fresh-kill pile and ate it quickly, ignoring Cherrypaw's attempt at conversation, before following Hollypaw into the den.

She glanced up from her nest as he entered, and before he could say anything, said quietly, "I still don't want to sleep in your nest."

He stuck his tongue out discreetly. "I didn't ask you to."

"You would've said something eventually."

He glanced at the nests, ignoring her comment. "Which on of these can I take?"

She pointed to three of them. "Neither of those, and not the one I'm in. Any other is fine."

He flopped into the nest closest to her lazily. "Being an apprentice isn't _that_ great . . ."

She shrugged tiredly. "Not really." She sounded defeated.

He glanced at her, curling into a ball. "You'd think it was if Petalpaw was still alive, wouldn't you?" he asked quietly.

She jerked violently, the mere sound of her dead sisters name stinging her.

"Sorry," he added quietly.

"Just go to sleep, Rainpaw . . ."

Feeling like a complete jerk when she turned the other way and started to ignore him, he allowed himself to slowly drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>He opened his eyes to a new forest.<em>

_Blinking, Rainpaw realized that the forest on his right was what Dawnpaw would call 'pretty'. Blooming flowers, tall trees, lush green grass – a surprisingly perfect look._

_To his left, however, there was very few live trees, no flowers, dead grass, and loads of mud puddles._

_He was sitting right between them, half in both worlds._

_Natural curiosity egged him to go left and check out the left side and see what was killing the forest, but common sense told him that if the grass and trees were dead, he could end up dead too._

_Well, curiosity killed the cat, after all._

_He turned left, padding into the mud with a scowl._

_Three feet in, and he was practically sinking. Lovely._

_Nonetheless, he continued walking – though awkwardly – through it, before letting his impatience get the best of him, and jumping onto one of the dead trees and climbing up to a branch._

_With a small huff, he sat down on it and started cleaning the mud off his legs, before he stopped and stood, bristling. "Who's there?"_

_A gray tabby tom stepped out, smirking wearily. "What are you doing here? Don't you know the dangers of this place?"_

_Rainpaw was silent, not even knowing where he was._

_The tom barked out a laugh, and he flinched slightly. "You don't even know where you are, do you?"_

_Silence._

_Seeing that he was getting nowhere with his question, he started examining Rainpaw. "You look pretty strong. You must be an apprentice by now."_

_A nod._

_The tom looked pleased. "You want to train?"_

"_You're not my mentor." He almost added, _not that my mentor actually taught me anything.

"_And who is your mentor?" he sneered._

"_Brambleclaw, deputy of ThunderClan."_

_At this, the tom started laughing again, hard. When he finally calmed, he said, "Come with me, and I could help you become stronger than even him."_

_Stronger than _Brambleclaw_? The thought was appealing. But still, he didn't know this cat._

_Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if Hollypaw would notice him if he got stronger._

_Inwardly he slapped the thought._

"_I don't even know you," he finally said._

_The cat grinned. "You can just call me Darkstripe. Come with me."_

* * *

><p><strong>No one will understand how proud I am to update so quickly. The reason Come Clean was updated every four days was because I always had four or five chapters written at once, so yeah . . .<strong>

**Anyone see this coming for Rainpaw? Well, don't think to badly of him yet, because remember something here: I never said Rainpaw went with him. Am I saying he didn't? No. Am I saying he did? No.**

**Hehe.**

**Erm. Don't get used to the faster updates. Or actually, do get used to them. Now that things are turning darker, it'll be easier for me to write. Scary, right? Well, my other file has a story about murder, rape and betrayal, so . . . you people are getting off easy.**

**Anyway, thanks for the people that review, favorite, alert, etc.. It always makes me happy to get a email from FFN.**

**Now, a somewhat important note: I'm going to do what I did with Come Clean, and try to be about four chapters ahead at all times, so if I don't update for awhile, it doesn't mean I'm not writing. No worries.**

**Oh, and for anyone on Wattpad, I seriously suggest reading any story by TaintedRain. Seriously, addicted to them at the moment.**

**Well, enough about me. How are you all doing? Tell me in a review! (Or don't. It's not really my business.)**


	12. For the Heart I Once Had

**Inspirational song quote:  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<br>_For the heart I'll never have  
>For the child forever gone<br>The music flows, because it longs  
>For the heart I once had . . .<em>  
>-Nightwish, For the Heart I Once Had<strong>

* * *

><p>"Are the gatherings exciting?" Frostpaw questioned excitedly.<p>

Hollypaw shrugged. "Sure, I guess. You get to meet lots of cats . . ."

Beside her, Rainpaw snorted. "I prefer our clan over others." His eyes flicked to her, somewhat suspicious. "What about _you_?"

She blinked, somewhat surprised by the hostility. "Well, of course ThunderClan's the best!"

"_ShadowClan's good too,_" Hollyleaf grumbled.

"ShadowClan cats are nice too," she added for Hollyleaf's sake.

Rainpaw scowled and didn't say anything, looking towards the entrance to camp as though what she had said had hurt him in some way, shape or form.

"ShadowClan smells bad," Dawnpaw complained. "Rosepaw was nice though."

"You met Rosepaw?" Hollypaw asked, not really caring.

Dawnpaw nodded. "Her and her brother Rockpaw. They seemed nice. Rockpaw wanted to know how you were doing."

Rainpaw glanced at his sister, frowning in confusion. "You didn't talk to him."

"I listened to you guys talking."

Rainpaw looked annoyed again.

"Yeah, well, they're nice," Hollypaw agreed quietly.

"I didn't get to meet them," Frostpaw complained.

Molepaw joined the conversation easily. "They're pretty nice. Seem a little distant sometimes. I guess that happens when you lose both of your parents at about the same time."

A small flicker of pain ignited in Hollypaw's chest, and she swallowed back Hollyleaf's emotion painfully.

"That would be horrible," Dawnpaw mewed in agreement. "If I had kits' to return to, I'd fight forever."

The pain reignited, and this time Hollypaw couldn't smother it.

Their conversation stopped as Firestar started leading them out of camp.

Frostpaw jumped around her excitedly. "This is going to be so cool!"

Molepaw smiled, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Is everything okay, Hollypaw? You look worried."

She smiled back nervously. "Yeah, everything's fine."

Except last time she had went to a gathering, she had promised Petalpaw they would go together.

But she was alone.

She allowed herself to lag back slightly as they continued until she was behind everyone, except Rainpaw, who had slowed to match her pace.

She glanced at him, frowning slightly when she realized how tired he looked. "Are you okay, Rainpaw? You look tired."

He blinked, looking back at her. "Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been having nightmares lately."

She flicked away her worry.

Rainpaw was smart enough to keep away from the Dark Forest.

"You too?" she said instead. "I'm pretty sure Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw do too."

He frowned. "That's too bad. Cherrypaw deserves them though."

She smiled despite herself. "Wow. You really don't like her, do you?"

"She annoys me."

"She really likes you. Maybe you should give her a chance." The words tasted like vomit.

He gave her a disturbed look. "No. No thank you. She's . . . not my type."

"What is your type?" she asked without thinking.

He smirked and she knew the answer before he gave it.

"Why that, of course, would be you, Hollypaw."

"Ha-ha," she laughed sarcastically.

Rainpaw paused as they stopped at the tree-bridge. "I have to cross _this_?"

"That's the idea."

He scowled, leaping onto it. "I bet I'll do great," he meowed, starting across it.

"I hope you fall."

This time he laughed sarcastically.

(Un)Fortunately, Rainpaw made it across without falling in, and gloated at her as they started towards the other apprentices.

When they finally reached them, she noticed Rainpaw glare at Rockpaw with hostility, but she ignored the look. "Hey Rosepaw, Rockpaw." She smiled lightly at the other couple of apprentices, not recalling their names.

Rosepaw smiled widely. "Hollypaw! It's so awesome to see you again!" Her smile faded. "I-I'm so sorry about your sister. I can't even imagine living without Rockpaw."

Hollypaw swallowed. "Yeah, it's hard."

Rockpaw finally decided to greet her. "I sent my regards through him"—he motioned to Rainpaw—"did you get them?"

Hollypaw nodded and Rockpaw looked almost disappointed. "Yeah. Thanks."

"So, ThunderClan has three new apprentices?" Rushpaw – Hollypaw suddenly remembered his name – asked.

Molepaw motioned to them in turn as he introduced them. "Rainpaw, Frostpaw and Dawnpaw." He introduced the apprentices from the other clans quickly. "Now that we're all acquainted, it's probably about time for one of the leader to—"

At this precise moment, the call was given, and Molepaw grinned, mouthing, '_start the gathering._'

Hollypaw tuned out Onestar's voice, allowing her thoughts to trail back to her guilt for not being there with Petalpaw.

"_You need to cheer up, kid,_" Hollyleaf mewed. "_You're falling into depression. Snap out of it. Petalpaw's here with you in spirit._"

_No she's not_, Hollypaw spat back inwardly. _She's up in StarClan, and I'm down here, alone._

Before Hollyleaf could retort, Hollypaw felt a chill run down her spine. She could feel someone watching her. She glanced around nervously, and wasn't surprised when she caught Crowfrost staring at her.

When their gazes caught, Crowfrost seemed to freeze when he realized he had been seen, before he smiled unnervingly.

Her blood froze in her veins when she read the words he mouthed.

'_You're next._'

Hollypaw blinked when someone moved in front of her, glancing up.

Not one cat. Three.

Rockpaw, Rainpaw and Molepaw had all seemed to move in front of her protectively at once.

Rainpaw was frowning slightly, looking worried.

Molepaw's face was set in a small scowl, but his eyes were full of concern.

Rockpaw glanced at her and they shared a knowing look.

In her head, Rosepaw and Hollyleaf said together, "_Be careful._"

* * *

><p>"Ivypool, you <em>need<em> to tell me!" Lionblaze insisted in a hiss.

She heard Ivypool sigh in annoyance.

She hadn't been sure why Hollyleaf insist she follow Ivypool and Lionblaze as they went out for a private chat, but she had allowed her curiosity to lead her after them.

"Can't you let your family make choices for themselves and trust them?"

"Hollypaw _has_ to be getting extra training. She's almost as skilled as a warrior and it's only been a moon!"

So this conversation was about her. That figured.

Ivypool sighed.

"Just tell me who you've seen in the Dark Forest, Ivypool."

"I've seen Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw almost every night," she meowed after a moment.

"Sparrowpaw?" Lionblaze asked in shock. "But . . . he's not that much better than he should be. Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" Ivypool snapped. "Don't you trust me? I'm risking my life spying for you!"

Lionblaze sighed this time. "Who else?"

" . . . Birchfall," she admitted. "Berrynose once or twice. Blossomfall. Frostpaw occasionally shows up." She paused. "I saw Rainpaw once. He was telling off Darkstripe for trying to get him into . . . whatever we call ourselves. He hasn't shown up since, but he always looks worried when he's awake, so I think someone's tormenting him in his dreams."

"What about Hollypaw?" Lionblaze asked after a moment.

Ivypool was silent for a long time, and Lionblaze finally snapped, "I knew it! She goes, doesn't she?"

She was silent for another moment, as if thoughtful. "I have not once seen Hollypaw in the Dark Forest."

Lionblaze was shocked into silence. "Not once? Are you sure . . . ?"

"Yes!" she snapped in exasperation. "Hollypaw is talented, Lionblaze! And she doesn't need the Dark Forest to help her!"

"_Yeah, you're just stuck with me instead,_" Hollyleaf chirped.

"There must be something . . ." Lionblaze murmured. "Jayfeather and her are always chatting. Something . . . there's something about her."

"There probably is," Ivypool agreed. "But it's not about the Dark Forest, Lionblaze."

He sighed. "Just keep me posted, okay? They'll want her. I know they will."

Ivypool muttered agreement before disappearing through the bushes the opposite way of Hollypaw.

"_Head back to camp now,_" Hollyleaf advised. "_He'll probably want to train now._"

Hollypaw started back slowly, not looking forward to training. Lionblaze had told her yesterday that they would be training with Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw and their mentors. Battle training.

A. K. A.: beat on Hollypaw time.

She hovered outside the entrance, not looking forward to going in. They'd probably be plotting her demise right now, so it would be better not to disturb them.

Hollyleaf purred in amusement at her thoughts.

A few moments later, Lionblaze appeared. He blinked when he saw her. "Hollypaw. Are you ready for training?"

_Not really._ "Yes."

He nodded. "I'll go get the others and we can start." He disappeared and reappeared moments later with the rest of their group, and he flicked her tail to signal her to follow them as they started away.

The mentors made small talk while Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw talked quietly together, leaving Hollypaw to trail behind them blankly.

After a few moments of silent walking, Hollypaw arrived at the mossy clearing with the others.

Brackenfur, Cherrypaw's mentor, started instructing them first.

Luckily for her, they were just going to start with small spats with their mentors before they started against each other.

After managing to win two out of three rounds with Lionblaze, the moment Hollypaw dreaded arrived.

Brackenfur, Lionblaze and Birchfall all started whispering to each other, deciding what they were going to do.

She ignored the fact that she was getting glared at by Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw.

After a few moments of consulting, the mentors turned back to them, and this time Lionblaze took the lead. "We've decided that we're going to do team battles."

Team battles with only three apprentices. She could see where this was going.

"Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw, we want you two to go against Hollypaw, as she's the best skilled out of you three," Birchfall said tonelessly.

Cherrypaw curled her lip and Sparrowpaw frowned.

"Is that okay with you?" Lionblaze checked.

Cherrypaw nodded without hesitation, and after a small hesitation, Sparrowpaw nodded too.

Hollypaw shrunk down slightly but nodded.

The mentors stepped back to give them room, and Brackenfur nodded for them to begin.

Almost at once, Cherrypaw had flung herself at Hollypaw, who ducked away quickly, dodging Sparrowpaw as he swatted at her.

She backed away slightly, and Cherrypaw was flying at her again.

This time, she ducked again, then head-butted the air as Cherrypaw went over her, sending her to the ground in a huff.

She turned, preparing herself as Sparrowpaw lashed out at her paws to try and trip her. She reared back on her hind paws, managing to turn slightly as Cherrypaw was rushing at her again.

She smashed her front paws down on Cherrypaw, jumping out of the way as Sparrowpaw lurched at her. Sparrowpaw stumbled slightly, and Hollypaw took this chance to pin him down, biting his scruff lightly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Brackenfur open his mouth to tell them to stop, but before he could say anything, Cherrypaw was on her feet, snarling.

Hollypaw let go of Sparrowpaw just as Cherrypaw tackled her over, pinning her to the forest floor, scratching her sides with unsheathed claws.

Without a moment's hesitation, Hollypaw kicked up, sending Cherrypaw off of her, but just as soon as she did that, Sparrowpaw had replaced her.

Before she could try to push him off, he placed a paw on her neck, pushing down roughly.

She coughed to signal that he was pushing to hard, but he only pushed down harder, blue eyes shining with hatred.

She couldn't breathe. She coughed harder, struggling underneath him.

"That's enough!" Lionblaze snapped, and when Sparrowpaw made no move to let her go, he barreled into him.

Hollypaw coughed violently and breathed in hard.

Head pounding, she struggled to sit up, blinking back black spots.

She could hear Brackenfur snapping at Cherrypaw for using her claws and Lionblaze snarling threats into his own son's ear. After a moment, Birchfall replaced Brackenfur in scolding Cherrypaw, and he walked over to her, eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay, Hollypaw? I don't know why they both attacked you like that. Do you want to see Jayfeather?"

She opened her mouth to say no, but started coughing violently.

At once, Brackenfur helped her to her paws. "Lean on me. I'll help you there." He turned to look at the others. "I'm taking Hollypaw back to camp to see Jayfeather."

Lionblaze looked up abruptly. "We're coming too. We should all get back to camp. I think I need to have a word with Firestar." He glared between Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw furiously, before turning and starting toward camp, shoving Sparrowpaw roughly ahead of him.

Birchfall walked next to Cherrypaw, and Brackenfur limped behind them with her leaning on him weakly.

When they were halfway back to camp, they ran into another patrol consisting of Brambleclaw, Cloudtail and Brightheart with their apprentices, Rainpaw, Frostpaw and Molepaw.

"What happened?" Frostpaw burst, looking at Hollypaw.

Rainpaw and Molepaw both looked deep in thought, probably thinking of at the gathering when Crowfrost had threatened her.

"Sparrowpaw and Cherrypaw attacked her while we were training," Lionblaze snarled.

There was a moment of tense, shocked silence.

Then Lionblaze was explaining what happened to the warriors, and the three apprentices were staring at her worriedly.

"Here, let me help," Molepaw mewed at the same time Frostpaw and Rainpaw offered, "Lean on me."

There was another moment of tense silence as the toms glanced at each other awkwardly, before finally Molepaw replaced Brackenfur at her side.

"Thanks," Hollypaw mumbled awkwardly, overly aware of Rainpaw staring at her.

"It's no trouble," Molepaw insisted. "I'm so sorry my sister did that to you."

"It . . . wasn't really her." She quickly explained what happened, and Rainpaw's glare fixated on Cherrypaw with such hatred it almost scared her.

Frostpaw was frowning slightly at Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw, looking confused.

Molepaw listened quietly, allowing her to lean heavily on him, taking in the information silently.

As they approached camp, Hollypaw glanced at her brother uneasily.

He was staring at the ground with guilty amber eyes.

Hollypaw blinked.

Amber eyes.

When he was choking her, his eyes had been ice blue.

But his eyes weren't blue. They were amber.

* * *

><p><strong>Yay, another chapter. I have finished this the same day I finished the last chapter :3 Let's see how many days it takes me to post it.<strong>

**Hate the ending, but whatever.  
><strong>

**Review if you feel the need.**


	13. Sanctuary

**Inspirational song quote:  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<br>_In you and I there's a new land  
>Angel's in flight<br>wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
>My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah<br>Where fears and lies melt away  
>Music inside<br>wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I  
>What's of me, what's left of me now<em>**

**-Utada Hikaru, Sanctuary**

* * *

><p>"<em>Today, our lesson is going to concentrate on some basic moves," Hollyleaf explained.<em>

_She was four moons into her apprenticeship now. It had now been two moons since Hollypaw had seen Sparrowpaw with blue eyes. He hadn't been near her at all either._

_When they had gotten back to camp, Lionblaze had taken the rest of their patrol over to Firestar's den while Molepaw had taken her to Jayfeather's den._

_Cherrypaw and Sparrowpaw were punished with their training being put on hold for three moons. Meanwhile, they could take care of the elders and help Jayfeather collect herbs, and hunt occasionally._

_Of course, this didn't help Cherrypaw's hostility to her. Sparrowpaw couldn't seem to look her in the face._

_The other apprentices, knowing what happened, had started shunning the two of them._

_Rainpaw had pushed his nest slightly closer to hers, despite that they were already so close that their fur brushed at night._

_Frostpaw was on the other side of Rainpaw, closest to Cherrypaw's nest, but far enough away to feel safe._

_Molepaw had moved to Hollypaw's other side, not as close as Rainpaw was, but enough that no one could go by him to get to her at night without waking him up._

_Sparrowpaw had shut the other apprentices out, concentrating on the tasks at paw instead of moping around, like Cherrypaw did._

_She would constantly be trying to get Rainpaw to talk to her, leading Hollypaw to decide that Cherrypaw did indeed like him. Occasionally she would try talking to Molepaw too, but he'd just give her a disapproving look and not say anything._

"_Get your head out of your butt and listen," Hollyleaf meowed._

_Hollypaw nodded quickly._

"_We usually do more advanced moves because they're . . . more advanced. But sometimes it's the basics that help you through," she continued. "First we'll go over some ThunderClan basics – you'll know most of them by now, I imagine – then we'll go over ShadowClan ones for back up. I also know some fr—"_

"_Just get on with it, Hollyleaf," Jayfeather interrupted. A moon ago he had started appearing in her dreams as well. It shocked her at first, especially when he pointed out a mistake she made before finally saying that he could see in his dreams._

_It was always a little odd to wake up with him blind again._

_Hollyleaf made a face at him then turned back to Hollypaw. "Alright. Just repeat after me, right Hollypaw?"_

_She nodded, and mimicked the moves Hollyleaf did, most of which she did indeed know._

"_Remember to also use your power to your advantage," Hollyleaf reminded. "I lost it because I took too long, but you shouldn't lose it."_

_Hollypaw nodded. She disliked using her power, but knew it would come in handy for the actual battle with Crowfrost._

"_You should practice with it more in the real world. We don't know the extent of it. Wake up," Hollyleaf told her._

_She frowned, flicking her tail. "Now? Why not tomorrow?"_

"_You'll be training tomorrow and you know it. Wake up." She turned to Jayfeather. "See you when you join us next."_

_Jayfeather rolled his eyes. "You're such a pain in Hollypaw's butt. Good night." He disappeared after a few seconds._

_Hollyleaf turned to her. "Your turn."_

"_Can't I sleep?"_

"_No."_

"_You are a pain."_

_Hollyleaf grinned. "Where would you be without me?"_

"_Living normally," Hollypaw grumbled._

"_Aw, admit that you care about me, twerp. There's no point in denying it. You're already in denial about so many things . . ."_

"_Excuse me? _What_ am I in denial about?"_

_Hollyleaf shook her head. "Are you oblivious or what? Can't you see all the toms padding after you? And not to mention those annoying feelings for Rainpaw . . ."_

"_I _don't_ like Rainpaw," Hollypaw hissed._

"_Yet."_

"_Ever. And what do you mean, toms padding after me? No one is padding after me."_

"_Frostpaw, Rainpaw, Molepaw . . . maybe even Rockpaw a little."_

"_What? Ew. No way."_

"_Just wake up."_

* * *

><p>She blinked open her eyes, waiting a few seconds for them to adjust to the darkness. When she could finally see properly, she maneuvered past Molepaw and Rainpaw awkwardly, trying not to wake either of them.<p>

Her efforts proved futile as when she glanced back while leaving the den, Rainpaw's eyes were wide open, showing that he had never been asleep in the first place. His eyes followed her closely, looking confused.

In the back of her mind, she realized he was probably going to try and follow her, so she quickened her step, smiling nervously at Dustpelt, who was guarding the camp.

He muttered for her to be careful because of the recent murders but made no move to stop her from going out.

She continued without replying. _Where should we train?_

"_Anywhere is fine. Pick a place where you can relax – you're tense._"

Relax? Was that even possible with the burdens she carried? Nevertheless she headed to the lake. It would be moderately peaceful . . . probably.

"_The lakes a good place. Pretty at night._"

She gasped when she saw it.

Hollyleaf was beyond right.

The whole sky seemed to reflect off of it, the stars glittering in the water as well as the sky.

"_Told ya._"

"Hollypaw?" a new voice entered the scene. "What are you doing here?"

She glanced up from the lake, blinking. "Rockpaw."

He was staring at her from a little ways away, right on the edge of the border that separated them.

She padded over. "It's a little late, don't you think?"

He snorted. "Don't you?"

She smiled in amusement, plopping down beside him. "Yes. Hollyleaf told me to wake up."

"_Make me look like the bad guy . . ._"

She went ignored. "So I came here."

"Why did she tell you to wake up?" Rockpaw asked, settling down.

She hesitated. "She wanted me to practice my power."

He nodded. "Well then practice," he mewed tonelessly.

After a moment, a rock went hurling into the lake. A few more followed before Hollypaw stopped, bored of it and worn out.

Rockpaw glanced at her. "Your clan-mate is close by."

She blinked.

"Rainpaw, I think he was called." He paused. "He seemed troubled at the gathering. He had been to the Dark Forest."

Hollypaw cringed slightly.

"It seems that he doesn't want to be there, but when he sleeps, most of the time he wakes up there."

Hollypaw nodded. "Thanks for telling me . . . I don't want him getting hurt."

Rockpaw stared at her emotionlessly for another moment before finally smiling in amusement. "The first time I met him, all he was thinking about was you."

Hollypaw opened her mouth and shut it again wordlessly.

"I think he cares a lot for you." He smiled impishly. "So naturally I had to bother him."

Hollypaw grinned. "What did you do?"

"Well, first I asked about you. Not to bother him, but it annoyed him that I seemed to care."

Hollypaw nodded for him to continue.

"I continued talking about you for a minute and he snapped at me, wanting to know why I cared so much. I told him we're friends, but he seemed to think that I . . . you know, wanted more than that – which is gross by the way. My mom lives in your head.

"Anyway, that's when I decided to mess with him."

They grinned conspiringly at each other.

"I told him that forbidden romances happen all the time. His face was _priceless_, I swear. He looked like ripping my face off and making me eat it."

They both laughed at the thought.

Silence engulfed them for a long time before finally Hollypaw asked, "What are you doing out here, anyway? So close to the ThunderClan border . . . ?"

He stared at the lake for a while. "It's peaceful. Usually nobody else is out here." He glanced at her almost accusingly. "I can come out here and just . . . think." He smiled lightly. "It's like my own little sanctuary."

Hollypaw nodded slightly. "It is really nice here," she admitted. "I can see why you like it . . ."

_Petalpaw would have liked it too._

Rockpaw glanced at her. "You shouldn't dwell on the past."

She coughed bitterly. "It's not easy to forget. It's not easy . . . to forget the one thing that made your whole life worth living." Her shoulders shook. "Without my sister . . . the one thing that mattered more than anything . . . everything's dull. It's like someone ripped the color out of my life. Every day is dull, dreary, gray. _Pointless_," she spat. "You grow up, thinking nothing bad will happen, not to you, and then something that seems so . . . so _minor_, like a cough, turns on you and suddenly you're all alone."

"But you're not alone," Rockpaw whispered. "You have family and friends."

"And I have enemies and cats trying to kill me," she countered. "When it all equals out in the end, I don't feel like I have anyone. I feel like . . . nothing. I'm alone."

He surprised her by wrapping his tail around her own. "You're not alone," he repeated. "You can feel like it. You can feel like the whole world is falling down around you, and no one is there to save you, but you'll always have someone, at least one living being, that wants and needs you alive. Even if it doesn't feel like it . . ."

She sucked in a sharp breath and let it out slowly. "You're . . . talking from experience, aren't you?"

He looked back toward the lake. "When my mother and father both died in the same period of time, I felt like I had no one. I almost didn't," he admitted. "But you have to keep going, even if you hate to. Maybe not for you, but for someone else, even if more than anything you just want to die."

Hollypaw nodded, understanding that he was referring to Rosepaw and himself.

Briefly she wondered why Hollyleaf wasn't saying anything on this matter, before deciding she would probably make Hollypaw sit down and talk later in one of her dreams. She might even demand Jayfeather become a therapist for her. Goody.

"Rockpaw, I—"

"_What_ in StarClan's name are you _doing_?" She heard Rainpaw's voice demand behind her, sounding horrified.

She turned towards him tiredly. "Hey, Rainpaw."

He stepped towards her stiffly. "What are you—he's in a different clan! Are you two—meeting up?"

Hollypaw snorted. "No. I went out for a walk, and Rockpaw was here."

Rainpaw scowled disbelievingly. "Right, and this _coincidence_ led up to you two sitting there with your tails around each others?"

"It . . . wasn't like that. We were talking."

Rockpaw flicked her lightly with his tail. "I'm going now. Calm your secret admirer down."

She bristled at the nickname Rockpaw had given Rainpaw, but before she could retort, he was walking off, tail dragging lifelessly through the sand. She frowned at Rainpaw. "Did you have to do that? We were just talking."

He glared at her. "Really? And what were you _talking_ about?"

Her eyes watered and she blinked a few times.

Rainpaw looked shocked by the sudden pain on her face, but before he could say anything, anger replaced it.

"You're such a brat, Rainpaw!" she spat. "I didn't do anything, and neither did Rockpaw. We sat there, and we _talked_! And if you don't believe me, ask him at the next gathering! We sat here and talked about how much _pain_ I'm in!"

His mouth fell open as if he was going to say something, but no words came out.

"That's what I thought," she choked. "You can't say anything. You can't comment. You don't understand. But _he_ did! _He_ listened to me when no one else would!"

Rainpaw's mouth snapped shut and he bristled. "I've _tried_ listening! I've _tried_ helping! Every time I do, you don't notice me at all!"

Hollypaw opened her mouth to snap back, but a shriek of pain ripped through the air, causing them both to jump.

"What in StarClan's name was that?" Rainpaw sputtered, looking into ShadowClan's territory, where the scream had come from.

Hollyleaf was hyperventilating in her head, but she breathed in deeply. "Rainpaw, we need to get back to camp, _now._ I'll tell Firestar we heard something, but we need to get out of here before he gets here."

"He who?" Rainpaw asked, looking uncharacteristically scared. "Hollypaw, someone's in pain!"

"I know," she choked, panic bubbling in her stomach. "But we need to get out of here, _please_."

"But someone—"

"Is probably dead by now," she interrupted in a snarl. "Rainpaw, if we don't get out of here, we could be next. I—we aren't ready to take him on."

He swallowed. "It's Crowfrost, isn't it? I saw him at the gathering, Hollypaw – he threatened you. We have to tell someone."

"You can't tell anyone," she pleaded. "Trust me, Rainpaw. This—this will be the last one." She choked out a lie, "It isn't Crowfrost. We need to run."

He stared at her, eyes horrified. "But we could help . . ."

"No we can't. Neither of us are trained well enough to take on a killer, Rainpaw."

"Someone's hurt," he whimpered again, but turned and started running back to camp with Hollypaw on his heels.

* * *

><p><strong>Written the day <em>after<em> the other two chapters. I am on a _roll_! This chapter ended differently than I had planned, but either way. Still good, I guess.**

**What would you guys think of I said I already have the next three chapters written? Because they are written~ just not posted. And they are awesome.**


	14. Somebody Wishes They Were You

**Inspiration song quote:  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<br>_Paralyzed and you don't know why  
>Feeling like somebody's fool<br>Try to find some peace of mind  
>Maybe you're hiding the truth . . .<em>  
>-Adelitas Way, Somebody Wishes They Were You<strong>

* * *

><p>"I see . . ." Firestar was frowning.<p>

As soon as they had arrived back at camp, Hollypaw had dragged Rainpaw in with her to see Firestar, despite the moon still being out.

"You two didn't go into ShadowClan territory, did you?"

Hollypaw shook her head. "Rainpaw wanted to help, but . . . I thought it would be safer if we came here."

He nodded, frown in place. "It was smarter to come here. I'll send a patrol over when the sun is up to report what you heard. Why were you two at the ShadowClan border, again?"

Hollypaw shuffled. "I couldn't sleep properly, so I went for a walk. Rainpaw followed me."

Firestar nodded again, looking distant. "Rainpaw, can you excuse Hollypaw and I for a moment? Why don't you see Jayfeather to see if he has anything to calm you down?"

Rainpaw looked like he was going to protest, but after a moment, he just sighed, turning and walking out of the den, tail dragging.

Firestar's attention turned to her, and she swallowed nervously. "Hollypaw, I want you to tell me the whole story."

"There isn't anything to tell you, Firestar . . ."

He gave her a disapproving look. "Hollypaw, more than that happened and we both know it. Start with when you left camp."

She sighed lightly. "I went to the lake . . ." She paused uncomfortably. "I guess I was thinking pretty hard, because I ended up near the border. Rockpaw was there. We talked for awhile . . ." she trailed off.

"Continue. What did you talk about?"

She looked away from him. "We talked about the gathering . . . Rainpaw . . . the Dark Forest . . ."

He held his tail up for her to stop. "The Dark Forest? Why were you talking about that?" He frowned in concern. "Hollypaw, you're not involved at all, are you?"

She shook her head quickly. "No! No, of course not."

He looked at her suspiciously. "Then how do you know about it? Hollypaw, you _cannot_ go there. If they try to contact you—"

"I _don't_ go there," she repeated quickly. "I wouldn't. Just—I don't want to talk about it."

He sighed, clearly not wanting to drop the subject so easily, but flicked his tail. "Continue your story then."

"We talked about Petalpaw, too," she meowed, partly relieved to change the subject, partly dreading the change. "Because I . . . I'm still hurting over it. He comforted me, and talked about his parents, and how sad he was when they died. We . . . related, I guess. So we talked.

"We questioned each other on why the other was there. I was just walking, but Rockpaw said he likes to go out to the lake at night, because it's peaceful." She smiled slightly, recalling his words. "Like a sanctuary." She sighed, "Then Rainpaw showed up. He . . . _accused_ us of meeting up. I mean, I guess we were meeting up, but it wasn't planned. I guess Rockpaw got a little fed and he left. Rainpaw continued to spit accusations at me." Her throat dried and she swallowed harshly. "Then there was the scream. It stopped us from fighting, and Rainpaw wanted to go help. But I told him we should leave, because if someone was getting killed, we could too . . . that's all, Firestar, really."

He nodded thoughtfully and she waited for the questions she knew were coming.

"Alright, Hollypaw, I believe you. But you need to answer some questions."

She sighed.

"First, you really didn't plan on meeting Rockpaw, did you? You two are from different clans."

She shook her head. "Honest, Firestar, it was an accident. I just wanted to go for a walk. Rockpaw's a good friend, but I'm loyal to ThunderClan."

"Okay." He nodded, but she knew this wasn't going to be the end of it. "Second, why do you know about the Dark Forest? And answer me honestly."

"I haven't been there," she said again. "I haven't."

"That's fine. But how do you know about it then? Why were you talking about it?"

She was silent for a long time, and he watched her patiently.

_Well, Hollyleaf? How do I know about the Dark Forest?_

"_Simple – the cat from your dream told you._"

Yeah, so simple.

It wasn't a lie, nor was it the truth.

"A cat told me."

"Who?"

_Yes, Hollyleaf, who?_ But she already knew the answer. "The cat from my dream."

"Do you know what their name is?" he continued.

Hollypaw nodded slightly.

"Who was it?"

"I can't tell you."

Firestar stared at her, tail twitching with the beginning of impatience. "Was it a Dark Forest cat or StarClan cat?"

"Neither."

He blinked. "Neither? Is it a living cat?"

"Not really."

He looked bemused. "It's not alive nor is it dead?"

"Not really," she mewed again.

He sighed, shaking his head. "Okay, Hollypaw. When you're out of here, I want you to go talk to Jayfeather about this cat, okay?"

Oh great, he thought she was mental.

"Okay." She made to leave, but he stopped her.

"I have more questions, Hollypaw."

Just lovely.

"Okay," she murmured, slouching down.

"Do you know who Hollyleaf is?"

The name made her tense slightly, but she answered simply. "She was my aunt. She lived in ThunderClan for most of her life, but there was an accident involving her family and she went into the tunnels. They collapsed and everyone thought she was dead, but she wasn't, and after a few moons she went to live in ShadowClan. She was mates with Scorchfur, had two kits—Rosepaw and Rockpaw—and was deputy. She was killed awhile after Scorchfur."

He nodded slowly. "Do you know what the family incident was?"

She shook her head.

"_Oh StarClan, he's going to tell you!_" Hollyleaf cried in terror.

Firestar sighed, oblivious to Hollyleaf's dismay, and started the story. "Well, Hollyleaf was very . . . obsessed with the warrior code, to put it. There was some accidents – a fire – and Squirrelflight revealed to her and her brothers that she wasn't really their mother."

Hollypaw's mouth gaped.

"Some things happened, and it eventually led up to the three of them finding out that their real parents were Crowfeather from WindClan and Leafpool."

"Leafpool?" Hollypaw blurted.

He nodded solemnly. "At the time, she was also the ThunderClan medicine cat. I suppose Hollyleaf couldn't take all the information, and she told everyone at the gathering who her real parents were," he sighed. "Brambleclaw stopped talking to Squirrelflight, because he had thought that they were his kits. Leafpool had to stop being the medicine cat. I suspect Crowfeather was shunned in his clan as well. Hollyleaf went into the tunnels soon after the gathering and everyone thought she had died, before she showed up at ShadowClan moons later." He paused thoughtfully. "I think she had something to do with the death of one of our warriors, Ashfur, as well, but I am not sure."

Hollyleaf was cursing softly in her head, but Hollypaw nodded. "I see. So this whole family is just a pack of deceit and hate."

He looked surprised. "No. At one point, all the cats in your family loved each other. But they drifted apart, let things get between them. I suspect that Leafpool loves Crowfeather still, and I know Squirrelflight loves Brambleclaw. Hollyleaf loved Scorchfur; Lionblaze loves Cinderheart."

She ignored his long comment. "Is there any more questions, Firestar?"

He frowned, apparently knowing he had been ignored. "Just one."

She nodded for him to continue when he paused unsurely.

"What do you know about the murders?"

She stiffened. "The murders, Firestar? I'm not sure I follow you."

"You obviously knew that this cat was really dangerous, because unlike most cocky apprentices, you didn't want to go and fight. If you know something about these murders, Hollypaw, you have to tell me."

She was silent.

"Hollypaw," he sighed, "do you know who the killer is?"

It was the moment that Hollypaw opened her mouth to reply, that Jayfeather walked in.

"Rainpaw told me what happened, and I wanted to check on Hollypaw."

"Jayfeather, can I just finish this conversation?" Firestar mewed in a tone that said Jayfeather better let them finish.

"Firestar, she's probably tired and scared. You will have to finish this another time." Without another word, he pushed Hollypaw out of Firestar's den. "You're lucky that I'm here to save your butt," he hissed in her ear.

"How long were you there, Uncle Jayfeather?"

When he didn't answer, she came to the conclusion that he had been there long enough to know what she had been told about their family.

* * *

><p><strong>Another horrible ending to a chapter but whatever. Written two days after the last one.<strong>

**It's pretty small, and really it's just a filler. But I also had to get Hollypaw to know what happened in her family, so yeah. Hope you guys like it anyway.**

**Anyway, I was looking at my profile earlier (I miss my line-breaks . . .) and I noticed something:**

**While at thirteen chapters long:  
>Come Clean has 29,763 words.<br>Wind's Nocturne has 35,333, and more to come.  
><strong>

**I'm getting more details and pages and things like that, so I am pleased with myself.  
><strong>


	15. Dance With the Devil

**Inspiration song quote:  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<br>_I believe in you, I can show you  
>That I can see right through all your empty lies<br>I won't last long in this world so wrong  
>Say goodbye<br>As we dance with the devil tonight  
>Don't you dare look at him in the eye<br>As we dance with the devil tonight  
><em>-Breaking Benjamin, Dance With the Devil**

* * *

><p><em>The forest wasn't the one she usually woke up in—that should have been her first signal to run.<em>

"Where are we?_" Hollyleaf meowed in her head. "_This isn't our training area . . . ?"

_Hollypaw shrugged slightly, glancing around, heart thumping. _

_Dead trees, dead grass._

_A wasteland._

_She swallowed. _You don't think we ended up in the Dark Forest, do you?_ she asked Hollyleaf worriedly._

_There was a moment of silence before: "_Fox-dung!_"_

_Hollypaw inwardly rolled her eyes. She glanced around, unnerved by the silence of this forest, then turned in a random direction and started walking._

"What are you doing?_" Hollyleaf demanded. "_Are you insane?_"_

They want something,_ Hollypaw replied. _If we don't find them now, they'll just try again.

_Hollyleaf remained deathly silent, and Hollypaw continued through the dead forest silently._

Sparrowpaw and Cherrypaw are probably here somewhere,_ she thought to herself. _Maybe Frostpaw . . .

_The thought of Frostpaw being in such a horrible place sent chills down her spine. He didn't deserve to be here. He was so much better than that._

_She briefly wondered if Rainpaw or Molepaw would be here, then shook the thought away irritably._

_They were too smart for that._

_Probably._

_As if on cue, she heard Rainpaw's voice ahead, and paused in her step._

"_I told you," Rainpaw was snarling, "I _don't_ want your training!"_

_Hollypaw resumed walking, toward the voices now._

"_Don't you want strength?" A hiss replied. "We can give you that. More than you can imagine."_

_Hollypaw watched from a small distance as Rainpaw argued with a cat that wasn't familiar to her. Neither of them had noticed her yet, so she remained quiet._

"_If I want power, I'll earn it _without_ the help of _you_, Darkstripe!" Rainpaw spat. "I don't care if my brother is stupid enough to fall for your tricks, _I'm_ not!"_

_Hollypaw rolled her eyes as Darkstripe continued._

"Take care of that idiot, will you?_" Hollyleaf asked. "_Knock his head into that rock beside him. Knock him out!"_ She smiled slightly as Hollyleaf started chanting, "_Knock him out! Knock him out!_"_

_With a small shake of her head, she lunged toward Darkstripe, taking him off guard, and smashing him into the ground. _

_He looked up at her, a snarl erupting out of his throat, before he seemed to realize who it was, and he smirked. "So you've finally come, eh?"_

_She tackled him into the rock as an answer, and he fell silent, unconscious._

"Woo!_" Hollyleaf cheered. "_That was great!_"_

_She ignored Hollyleaf, turning to Rainpaw, who looked to dumbfounded to say anything. "What in StarClan's name are you doing here, Rainpaw?"_

_He blinked twice, snapping out of his thoughts, and his fur bristled. "What am _I_ doing here? What about _you_, huh?"_

_She shrugged. "I woke up here."_

_His anger faltered slightly at her blunt answer. "Well, I did too."_

_She nodded. "How many times have you been here, Rainpaw?"_

_He relaxed slightly. "I don't know. They keep bringing me back."_

_She nodded again, slowly. "I see. This is my first time here. Do you know where the head honcho is?"_

_He blinked. "Tigerstar? You don't want to see him."_

"_Yes I do. He wants something from me."_

_He hesitated, then sighed. "I don't suppose I can stop you, no matter what I do."_

"_Nope."_

_He muttered something that sounded like, "Stubborn . . ." and pointed his tail in the direction she had been heading._

"_Thanks," she meowed. "You should wake up now."_

"_What about you?"_

_She turned in the direction he had pointed. "I'll be fine." Without waiting, she continued toward where Rainpaw had pointed, eyes narrowed angrily._

_If Rainpaw didn't want anything to do with them, why didn't they just leave him alone? They already had his brother, why did they need him, too?_

_Who else did they have that Hollypaw knew?_

_Crowfrost flicked into her head, and she blinked. He would most definitely fit in with other cats that wanted power._

_Why did Frostpaw want power, though?_

_And _why_ was she so overly concerned about him? _

Sparrowpaw's here too!_ She reminded herself angrily. But that wasn't as shocking to her. Sparrowpaw _would_ be here, naturally._

_She sighed, then quickened her step slightly as she heard voices ahead. None of them seemed familiar, but the sooner she got this over with, the better._

_She pushed past a dead bush, and was suddenly in a clearing, surrounded by cats._

_She blinked in shock, eyes flying around in shock._

_She had seen plenty of cats at the gatherings before, but this outnumbered even that. Everyone, everywhere, was training hard, muscles flexing, fur bristling. None seemed to take notice of her . . ._

_Except Ivypool._

_She was looking straight at her, a mixture of horror and shock on her face. One of the cats that was with her, looked in the direction Hollypaw was at in confusion, then smirked, running over to a brown tabby tom with amber eyes._

_Hollypaw continued to look around, spotting Cherrypaw battling, claws unsheathed, with a cat twice her size._

_Sparrowpaw was listening intently to a cat with blue eyes that Hollypaw instantly recognized. His blue eyes flicked away from Sparrowpaw, as if reading her thoughts, and locked onto her._

_A small smirk formed, and Sparrowpaw turned in confusion, eyes landing on her with shock. He turned back to the tom with him, demanding something, but went ignored as the cat started towards her, leaving a shocked Sparrowpaw in its wake._

"_Hello," he meowed, smirk not wavering. "Are you lost, little kit? This is the bad-side of the universe."_

_She said nothing._

"_I suppose my father wanted to meet you for some reason," he continued, ignoring her silence and flicking his tail. "Come along then."_

_He started away, toward the tabby she had seen a few moments ago, and she followed blankly._

"_Hawkfrost," the tom greeted in a low growl. "I see you've met young Hollypaw."_

_Hawkfrost nodded slightly. "Was there something you needed with her? You usually discuss these things with me . . ."_

_Amber eyes turned to her. "I just thought we should offer Hollypaw her rightful spot in the Dark Forest."_

_She glanced around herself self-consciously. _

_All the cats that had been previously training were now watching her with carefully blank eyes._

"_So?" the tom continued. "What do you think of this place? Would you like to train here?"_

_Hollypaw turned her attention back to him, somewhere in the back of her mind realizing that this cat must be Tigerstar._

"_No," she said firmly._

_His lip curled back, not with surprise. "We could make you stronger here. Isn't that your goal in life—to defeat your enemy?"_

_Her stomach clenched at his words. He knew about Crowfrost and her destiny._

"_I don't need your help to be strong," she meowed, staring defiantly into his eyes._

"_I see," he hissed, backing away from her a step. "But you are already one of us."_

_She remained silent._

"_You already have a mentor, do you not? A dead one," he snarled, false friendliness gone in an instant._

_She stared at him, waiting._

_The cats around them started murmuring to each other in confusion, eyes staying on the two of them._

_Ivypool was fidgeting worriedly._

"_Let's see if she can help you here," he finished, and before anyone could blink an eye, he had barreled her over, claws digging into her sides painfully._

_She pulled away from him violently, backing away quickly, eyes scanning the crowd again._

_Sparrowpaw was on his feet, eyes wide with shock, and what looked like worry. Hawkfrost, beside him, was muttering quietly._

_Cherrypaw was smirking triumphantly._

_Ivypool watched, tense, looking torn between jumping up to help, and staying silent and loyal._

_She barely had a second to think over her next move before Tigerstar had leapt at her again._

_She ducked and rolled away from him, curling her lip into a snarl, then, eyes flashing around quickly, jumped away from him again, and into a dead, unsteady, tree._

_Tigerstar glared up at her. "You think hiding will help you?" he sneered. He tackled the tree, and it shook violently under her paws._

_She stared down at him, regaining her balance. He didn't look like the tackle had fazed him in the least, and he reared back to slam into it again._

_This time, there was a loud crack, and the tree started tilting to the ground opposite of where Tigerstar was standing._

_Hollypaw dug her claws into the bark, preparing herself for the impact of the ground._

_She howled in pain as she landed, and before she could even get her breath back, Tigerstar was on top of her, clawing her stomach, eyes shining with malice._

_Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the resolve in Ivypool's eyes as she got to her feet._

_Then there was a flash of what looked like lightning, a yowl, and Tigerstar was tackled off of her._

_She blinked blurrily at Hollyleaf, who was standing beside her protectively, fur bristling with fury._

_Tigerstar grinned with triumph. "There she is. Thought you could hide forever from the afterlife? This is where you belong."_

_Hollyleaf curled her lip in disgust, seeming oblivious to the gasps of shock around them. "When my mission is over, I'll be in StarClan, which is better than what I can say for the likes of all of these cats!" she yowled again, and lunged at Tigetstar._

_Ivypool rushed over to her, eyes worried. "Hollypaw, you need to wake up now, before you get killed!"_

_She struggled to her feet, watching Hollyleaf. If she woke up, and Hollyleaf wasn't in her head, would she be stuck here?_

_The glint in Tigerstar's eye confirmed her thoughts._

"_How?" she asked Ivypool quickly._

"_Just . . . just try!"_

_Hollypaw looked back to Hollyleaf, and using the connection they had to each other, whispered in her head, "_You need to get back in my head now, or you'll be here forever._"_

_Hollyleaf's ear twitched once, showing she had heard, and she leapt away from Tigerstar, who looked confused momentarily at her._

_There was a flash of bright light, and Hollyleaf was gone._

"Wake up!_" Hollyleaf whispered frantically in her mind._

_Tigerstar turned to her, eyes blazing with fury. "No!"_

_He lunged at her again._

* * *

><p>And she woke up.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Breaking Benjamin is seriously the only reason this book exists 3<strong>

**AND IVYPOOL BECOMES SEMI-IMPORTANT YAAY~**

**Also, has anyone else noticed these things yet:**

**Hollypaw's schizophrenic.**

**Petalpaw had cancer.**

**Sparrowpaw is rather bipolar. (He claims to hate Hollypaw one moment—even attacks her (he was controlled by Hawfrost, but yeah), but then gets worried when Tigerstar attacks her.**

**Rockpaw is depressed. (Hollypaw is too.)**

**And Rosepaw is . . . a secret. Wait until the next book. If things go according to plan, I think you'll be in for a shock.**

**And OMSC guys, the chapter I just finished writing . . . I love it. It's called 'Getting Away with Murder', and I think you will all enjoy it! Now I'm working on the chapter after it, When it Rains~ SEE HOW WELL I AM PLANNED OUT? I even have the songs/titles/inspiration and everything for the next while!**


	16. Wasteland

**Inspirational song quote:  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<br>_So stop apologizing  
>There's nothing wrong with being different<br>Despite their accusations  
>You've always proven that you're better . . .<br>_-EarlyRise, Wasteland**

* * *

><p>In a matter of seconds, Hollypaw was flying out of the apprentice's den, ignoring that Rainpaw was awake and watching her, and she was rushing out of camp, heading toward the lake—her newfound sanctuary.<p>

In the back of her mind, she realized it was probably unsafe going out so soon after Crowfrost had killed once more, but she could feel the scratches on her side, the blood roaring in her ears and she could hear Tigerstar's furious howling in her head.

She raced past familiar trees, rocks, familiar landmarks, finally halting at the waters edge, panting.

"_Calm yourself,_" Hollyleaf advised soothingly. Sometimes Hollyleaf acted more like a mother to her than Cinderheart, who had become rather distant after Petalpaw's departure. "_Lie down and breathe. You're fine._"

She nodded slowly, lying down in the sand, catching her breath. _What was that about?_ she asked Hollyleaf.

There was silence as Hollyleaf thought up an answer. "_I'm not sure. They wanted me to stay there because if I wasn't in you, I'd be stuck there . . . My guess is Crowfrost is involved somehow. I doubt he goes there, but maybe because he's killing off innocence cats, he's a help to them . . ._"

Hollypaw sighed. _This is too complicated, Hollyleaf. Something must be approaching . . . do you think that maybe my destiny is approaching?_

Another pause. "_I think that it might be,_" Hollyleaf admitted. "_You are certainly close to ready for this._"

Hollypaw sighed again, ending the conversation, staring out at the lake.

Rockpaw had certainly been right about it.

It was out in the open, not safe in the least, but it felt safe and peaceful, like no one could harm her.

She felt . . . _invincible_.

"_Just remember all the scratches Tigerstar gave you,_" Hollyleaf reminded. "_They transferred over to the waking world. How do you plan on explaining this one, schizophrenia-buddy?_"

Hollypaw ignored her jab.

"_You are far from invincible right now, Hollypaw,_" she mewed quietly. "_Things are just getting more and more complicated._"

She made some patterns in the sand using her paw. _I'm tired . . ._

"_There's no point in trying to sleep – it wouldn't be safe . . ._" Hollyleaf sighed. "_The day I died, I hadn't slept well and I hadn't eaten . . . a few nights before, I had a dream, and of all the things, _you_ were in it!_"

_Me?_ Hollypaw questioned, blinking. _You didn't even know me._

"_I know!_" Hollyleaf crowed. "_I was so utterly confused. And then I met you and everything made sense._" There was a moment of silence before she added, "_Clean up your wounds._"

Hollypaw followed her orders, in no mood to argue with the she-cat. She blinked as she looked at her side realizing how badly she had been beaten.

Hollyleaf made a _tsk_ing sound, apparently only now realizing, like Hollypaw, that there was more injuries than previously known. "_Maybe you should go to Jayfeather_," she suggested lightly.

Hollypaw shook her head slightly in response, knowing Hollyleaf would see it. More than anything, she wanted to sleep – _without_ dreaming.

Of anything.

No Dark Forest, no training with Hollyleaf.

Just sleep.

Dreamless, _nightmare_-less sleep.

She sighed quietly, staring tiredly at the lake, waiting for the sun to rise.

* * *

><p>"Hey, wake up," a voice hissed quietly next to her.<p>

Hollypaw's eyes snapped open quickly, and automatically, she got to her feet, looking around quickly. She blinked when her eyes stopped on Ivypool.

She blinked again when she realized that she had fallen asleep and not had a dream of any sort.

"Are you okay?" Ivypool asked, eyes trailing across her flank with concern.

She nodded slowly, looking out at the lake. "What do you need, Ivypool?"

"When you weren't in camp after what happened last night . . ." she trailed off. "Anyway, I was worried. Lionblaze went towards the WindClan border to look for you while I came here." She paused, looking behind her. "I'll go find him and bring him here." She looked back at Hollypaw. "He wants to talk to you."

She nodded again. "I know he suspects me of training in the Dark Forest."

Ivypool blinked. "How did you—?"

"I overheard you two," she interrupted quietly. "Thanks for sticking up for me." She curled her lip. "Against my own father."

Ivypool hesitated. "He . . . he does love you, Hollypaw." She waited for a reply, but none came, so she continued. "I'll go find him."

She didn't bother waiting for a reply this time as she turned to the direction of the WindClan border, trotting away.

Hollypaw glanced after her, then back to the lake.

"_Sleep well?_" Hollyleaf asked, but she sounded distracted.

She nodded again. _Thanks for letting me sleep peacefully for once._

"_You deserved it, twerp,_" she replied. "_Sleep is important – very important, because at any moment, your destiny could catch up with you. Eating's important too. Go catch something . . . now._"

Hollypaw smiled slightly. _Eating before elders, queens and kits is against the warrior code._

She wasn't even sure if there was any kits or queens, because she had been distracted lately. At that, the elders could have died, and she would be oblivious to that too.

"_Well then catch extra!_" Hollyleaf huffed. "_You're not on a hunting patrol anyway . . ._"

She frowned. Hollyleaf usually wasn't so insistent on things like this.

"_Something . . ._" Hollyleaf trailed off uncertainly. "_Something's not right . . ._"

Before Hollypaw could question this, the bushes rustled, and she turned, expecting to see Ivypool with Lionblaze.

Instead, Cherrypaw stepped out, eyes narrowed and fur bristling.

Hollypaw swallowed nervously, shifting backward, away from Cherrypaw, slightly. "Cherrypaw . . . what are you doing here?"

Cherrypaw circled her stiffly, lips curled back disgustedly, not saying anything, just looking at her wounds smugly, as if she were the one to give them to her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lionblaze and Ivypool standing a little ways away, watching them curiously. Cherrypaw was angled away from them, unable to see them.

Lionblaze's first eyed her injuries, then glared at Cherrypaw, probably assuming that she had been the one to harm her. He stepped forward slightly, but Ivypool held up her tail in front of him to stop him, waiting.

"I saw you in the Dark Forest last night," Cherrypaw finally said, standing in front of her.

Lionblaze's ears perked up slightly, but Ivypool continued to wait.

She remained silent.

"How many times have you trained there?" she continued.

"Never," Hollypaw answered without hesitation.

"Oh please," Cherrypaw snarled. "Everyone heard Tigerstar say that you have another mentor. Your father not enough for you?"

Silence.

"Who is it, huh?" she spat. "Your other mentor."

She gritted her teeth, willing herself not to snap back at the she-cat.

"It's the black cat, right? The one that saved you."

Lionblaze kept staring, listening intently and Ivypool remained still.

Her tail twitched.

Cherrypaw stared at it momentarily, then seemed to decide that it was a confirmation. "I thought so." She smirked. "I know who she was."

She felt her fur bristle slightly, and in the back of her mind, she could hear Hollyleaf snarling about how much she hated Cherrypaw.

"How could I not?" she sneered. "The ShadowClan cats recognized her immediately and wouldn't stop talking about her."

Hollypaw stared at her, swallowing back her anger and hatred.

"Hollyleaf," Cherrypaw finally hissed.

Lionblaze shot to his feet, somehow remaining silent, but Ivypool continued to hold him back.

"ShadowClan's old deputy," she continued quietly. "What could she possibly want with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hollypaw hissed.

"Don't give me that mouse-dung!" she spat. "Hollyleaf saved you from Tigerstar. _That_ can't mean _nothing_." She flicked her tail. "You two were the talk of the Dark Forest last night after you left."

She trembled with anger, biting her tongue but allowing her fur to bristle.

"She belongs in the Dark Forest," Cherrypaw snarled. "You should have left her there."

Hollypaw blinked in shock. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Cherrypaw snapped. "Hollyleaf deserves to be in the Dark Forest. She did something wrong in her life time—Tigerstar said she deserves to suffer."

Lionblaze's fur stood on end, fury burning in his eyes, but he stood still.

Hollypaw could feel her own fur bristling with fury and hatred. Red blurred her vision so that just Cherrypaw was visible, and she barely stopped herself from ripping her throat out right there. "How _dare_ you say something like that!" she hissed between her clenched teeth.

Cherrypaw smirked. "Hit a nerve, did I? You actually _care_ about that stupid she-cat? The dead mentors are just using us – there's no point in caring about someone who doesn't care about _you_."

Her claws shot out, burying into the sand. "Hollyleaf isn't like _your_ kind," she snarled. "She cares about me more than my own family does, she _isn't_ using me, and while you rot, she'll be in StarClan."

She didn't bother containing her anger anymore, instead lunging forward at Cherrypaw and tackling her into the sand, clawing her sides with unsheathed claws.

Finally, Ivypool let Lionblaze go forward.

At once, he stepped in between them, facing Hollypaw, eyes pleading. "Hollypaw, what's going on?"

Instead of answering, she hesitated as Hollyleaf gasped in pain.

'_Time's almost up_.'

She seemed to be the only one to hear the three words ring around the clearing, and Hollyleaf made a weird, choked noise of terror.

Cherrypaw bared her teeth before taking off in the direction of camp, probably to tattle on Hollypaw, but Lionblaze continued to stare at her blankly.

But Hollypaw barely noticed him over the sudden tick-tocking in her head.

Hollyleaf started whimpering, "_I was too late. StarClan, no, not again . . ._"

And over the ticking, suddenly Rosepaw's voice blared in her mind,

"_Hollypaw, Crowfrost just left camp with Redwillow! Help!_"

* * *

><p><strong>Is it just me, or is Cherrypaw the Olivenose of this book? xD<strong>

**Anyone catch it? Huh, huh? Anyone? No? _Time's almost up._ **

**Time's up . . . ? You know, like in the first book? Anyone? Still no? Alright then. I'm repeating crap from the first book. Time's up, tick tock, not eating before the battle . . . any of you remember this?**


	17. Getting Away With Murder

**Inspirational song quote:  
>(Disclaimer: I do not own this song.)<br>_I feel irrational, so confrontational  
>To tell the truth I am<br>Getting away with murder  
>It isn't possible<br>To never tell the truth  
>But the reality is I'm getting away with murder<br>-_Papa Roach, Getting Away With Murder**

* * *

><p>Without a second thought, she was racing toward ShadowClan territory, ignoring her father's call behind her.<p>

All she could notice was the feeling of alarm spreading through her, most of which was Hollyleaf's, as her and Redwillow had been close.

She sped over the border, not giving it a second thought, leaping over a stream a few moments later.

"_Rockpaw says he can hear Redwillow's thoughts,_" Rosepaw mewed. "_He knows what's going to happen. He says that you and them are close to each other. Climb up a tree and wait for them to be visible. They're heading your way._"

She clawed her way up a pine tree quickly, eyes flicking around frantically, heart pounding.

She forced herself to calm down, breathing in and letting it out slowly.

The obnoxious ticking in her head had diminished, leaving Hollyleaf's nervous muttering as the only sound.

"_Should be there soon . . ._" Rosepaw mumbled. "_Do you need us to do anything, Hollypaw?_"

She thought a quick _No_, knowing that Rockpaw would hear it and tell Rosepaw.

She snapped out of her thoughts as she heard approaching voices, and Rosepaw didn't say anymore, leaving her alone.

"Crowfrost, I think you should probably explain your need to take a walk with me," Redwillow meowed in an unimpressed tone.

He and Crowfrost walked into view. Redwillow's tail was twitching slightly, nervousness in his eyes, and his movement was stiff, signaling that he already knew what Crowfrost wanted with him.

"Can't I just go for a walk with my former best friends brother?" Crowfrost asked smoothly. "You're rather tense," he added.

Even from high up, Hollypaw could see Redwillow's claws unsheathe.

Crowfrost eyed them but kept walking.

"I know what you want," Redwillow admitted in an angry hiss. "Just get on with it, will you?"

Crowfrost stopped and turned toward Redwillow, frowning with false confusion. "Redwillow, what are you talking about?"

Redwillow was silent a long moment, staring at the ground, before he finally said so quietly she almost missed it: "Why did you kill Hollyleaf?"

Crowfrost jerked back slightly, a snarl forming in his lips.

"Why her? Why Scorchfur?" he continued quietly. "Whiskerpaw . . . Snowheart . . . Owlclaw . . ."

Crowfrost unsheathed and sheathed his claws repeatedly, sitting down calmly. "How did you figure it out?"

Redwillow continued to stare downwards. "White fur, blue eyes." He looked up, eyes blazing with hatred. "I _saw_ you threaten Hollypaw! Not only that, but I saw her glare at you—with _Hollyleaf's_ green eyes. She knows, Crowfrost. Even if you kill me, even if both of us live, no matter what, _she'll_ kill you." He stepped away from Crowfrost, shaking his head.

Crowfrost smirked. "Even if both of us live – and let me tell you now, I don't intend on that happening – I'll tell Blackstar that you attacked me. After all, who would he believe more, his deputy or warrior?"

Redwillow faltered slightly.

"And then if you somehow manage to kill me, _you'll_ be the killer, won't you?" he sneered. "Blackstar will think it's a cover-up. That _you're_ the killer." He shook his head, smiling. "I've already planted the seeds of doubt in his mind. You were out at the time Hollyleaf was murdered, remember?"

Redwillow's eyes widened in shock.

"You were the last one to admit seeing her alive in our clan. I don't think you've realized just how much I've planned this out, Redwillow." He shook his head again, still smiling. "If I live, and I will, I tell Blackstar it was you all along. No matter what happens, _I win_."

Redwillow hesitated for a second before seeming to resolve what he was going to do. His hackles rose as he got into a battle stance. "I don't care if they think I'm the killer. _I_ know I'm not, and that's all that matters to me."

Crowfrost flicked his tail once then, without hesitation, tackled Redwillow over, baring his teeth. "You fool – thinking you _possibly_ have a chance at beating me."

Redwillow shoved him off, and it the brief moment that he was upside-down, looking at the sky, his eyes locked onto her. He blinked, looking relieved, and then was on his feet once more.

Crowfrost didn't waste any time, flinging himself back at Redwillow, claws unsheathed.

"_Now, Hollypaw!_" Hollyleaf shouted.

At once, Hollypaw hurled herself out of the tree, smashing hard into Crowfrost's side.

He sprawled away from Redwillow, looking momentarily stunned.

Hollypaw whirled around to Redwillow, who was again on his paws. "Go get Blackstar!" She turned, springing at Crowfrost before he could get back up, allowing her claws to sink into his flesh.

Behind her, Redwillow murmured Hollyleaf's name, and she could hear him take off through the bushes, hopefully following her commands.

_Rockpaw, if you're listening, Redwillow's heading back to your camp to get Blackstar. I want you to get Blackstar by the entrance so when Redwillow arrives, you're on your way immediately. Tell him what's happening!_ Hollypaw screeched to Rockpaw in her mind.

"_If they'll be on their way, this can't take a long time,_" Hollyleaf warned as Crowfrost kicked her off of him."_It's your destiny to _kill_ him._"

She trembled slightly. Killing was something she never wanted to do – _ever_. Even though this cat had killed plenty of others, she didn't want to be like that.

And she had no choice in the matter.

"You've always been a thorn in my side," Crowfrost spat at her, ripping her away from her thoughts. "I'll enjoy shredding you."

He started circling her, eyes narrowed into slits of anger. Suddenly, he leapt towards her, paws outstretched.

She ducked and rolled away from him, scrambling to her paws quickly as he lunged at her again. She dodged, and as he skidded past her, she whipped around, slashing his sides then leaping backwards as he clawed at her.

She hissed in pain when his claws connected with her cheek, stepping back then lurching forward quickly, shooting her paw out to trip him. Her paw connected against his, and he fell face-forward into the forest floor.

He snarled, but before he could attack her again, she raked her claws against his side, running around to the other side of him.

"_Redwillow just got back to camp,_" Rosepaw informed her.

While she was distracted, Crowfrost managed to turn towards her again. Instead of attacking her, he stared at her wonderingly. "How did you always know it was me, 'paw?"

She flicked her tail, watching him carefully. "Hollyleaf." Was all she said, stepping back as he sprung at her again.

He flew past her, pausing again. "She's dead," he replied.

_No fox-dung_, she barely stopped herself from saying. "Not to me she isn't."

He circled her slowly. "You never even met her."

She turned, watching him carefully as he continued to circle her. "I've known her my whole life – I've known about _you_ my whole life." She curled her lip back. "My whole life has revolved around killing you."

His claws sunk deep into the marshy earth as he glared at her thoughtfully, continuing his circle around her. "You've made a mistake. _Redwillow_ killed her – not me."

She snorted. "Spare me."

His eyes flashed, and he leapt forward, tearing at her side.

She stumbled under his weight, falling on her side, and he clawed her stomach viciously.

She yelped, kicking upwards, shoving him off of her, and getting to her paws quickly.

"_They're on their way to you now. Hurry!_" Rosepaw mewed frightfully.

She swallowed roughly. She needed more time, but she knew that there was no way that they would slow down, and even if she asked Rockpaw to try to, they wouldn't.

Lost in thought, she didn't realize that Crowfrost was on his feet again, and she was bowled over.

She shrieked in fury and pain, and he was sent flying through the air as her power cut in.

"_Let me do this, Hollypaw,_" Hollyleaf suddenly snarled darkly. "_It was my death. It was my mate's death. But now it'll be his, and I want it to be at my claws._"

She felt herself slip away as Hollyleaf took over her body.

Wave after wave of anger suddenly exploded in her chest, and, under Hollyleaf's control, her body automatically started clawing at him with no restrain, no pain registering from her own wounds.

Crowfrost jerked back, away from her, and stopped, staring into her—no, Hollyleaf's—eyes.

Hollyleaf didn't give him a chance to gather his wits, head-butting his side roughly, and sending him sprawling back to the forest floor. She crashed into him again without giving him a chance to get up, and he slid across the ground, rocks digging into his pelt.

She hopped on top of him, sinking her teeth into his back, and he howled in pain, shoving her away from him.

His ear twitched, and his gaze flicked away from her, towards where Redwillow had run off.

The sound of paw-steps were heading towards them, still distanced enough away to give her time to finish this.

Crowfrost curled his lip back, facing her. "Even if I get caught, you're not living through this experience."

He jumped at her—Hollyleaf—again, crushing her back-first into the ground, pressing his paw down on her neck, claws unsheathed and digging into her skin.

He glared down at her, scowl intact. "I should have done this a long time ago."

His claws ran across her throat, and her vision momentarily blurred as she let out a scream of pain.

He stepped back slightly, watching, waiting, as she managed to stumble to her feet.

She could hear Rockpaw close by, screaming her name. _Hers,_ not Hollyleafs.

She felt a wave of confusion—did he actually care about _her_, not just his mother in her? Did someone actually _care_ about _her_?

"And I should have done _this_ a long time ago," she rasped.

With one last bout of energy, she lunged at him, not bothering to just attack him. Her teeth sunk into his neck, and a gurgled cry of shock and pain escaped it.

She dug her teeth in deeper, black waves falling across her vision.

His body went limp in her jaws, and she dropped it, backing away a step, allowing her legs to crumple beneath her as her body's control was given back to her completely.

"Hollypaw!"

Over the blood roaring in her ears and her small whimpers, she heard Rockpaw's voice breaking through.

"_Stay awake,_" Hollyleaf mewed faintly, pain echoing in her voice. "_They'll be here in a moment. Stay awake . . ._"

But one last wave of black swept over her, taking her with it.

* * *

><p><strong>Insert squee here.<strong>

**OMG guys, four pages of a _one_ fight. It was hard, but oh-so worth it. This book will soon be over. *sniff* But then the next, very depressing, book!**

**And yes, I did say OMG. Do you have a problem with that? **


	18. When it Rains

**I'm going to stop putting in lyrics now, for safety. Using a song as inspiration isn't against the rules, so I'm leaving the name of the song/band in, but I'm still uncomfortable using the lyrics, so . . . Look up the lyrics if you actually care too.**

**Inspirational song:_  
><em>-Paramore, When it Rains**

* * *

><p>She awoke to a weird smell.<p>

_Uck._

ShadowClan and herbs; two horrible smells put together.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she cringed at the light that streamed into the small den she was in. She blinked twice, looking around blearily.

She was most certainly in a medicine cats' den – but not the ThunderClan one. She would recognize it.

She blinked again when her eyes landed on Rockpaw and Rosepaw, who were both curled up beside her, fast asleep.

_Hollyleaf?_

There was a noise in her head that resembled a yawn. "_Oh my StarClan, we're alive!_"

Her eyes widened slightly as it all came back to her, and she kicked her foot out at Rockpaw, who leapt to his paws, looking around, shock imprinted on his face.

He stared at her, his eyes brightening. "Hollypaw! You're awake!"

Rosepaw shot to her own paws at the sudden commotion. She grinned widely at Hollypaw. "Thank StarClan!"

"Is Crowfrost dead?" she choked out, surprised by the pain in her throat.

Rockpaw and Rosepaw glanced at each other.

Then Rockpaw nodded. "Yeah. You—uh—kinda broke his neck."

Her eyes widened. "I _broke_ it?"

Rosepaw nodded quickly. "Snapped it like a twig," she meowed as if this was an every day conversation. "I'm going to go get Littlecloud."

Without waiting for a reply, she trotted out of the den, tail swishing cheerily through the air.

Rockpaw stared after her for a moment before turning his attention back to her. "I guess Crowfrost must have got your neck, and then you just . . . attacked his throat. You did a good job on it, too."

She flicked her tail unhappily. "Yeah, but . . . now _I'm_ a murder."

He shook his head slightly. "It was self-defense, defending others, and avenging those already killed."

She stared at the ground. "But I _killed_ him."

"_Well, technically it was me,_" Hollyleaf murmured.

She sighed. "Thanks for bringing Blackstar down, though . . ." She paused. "I mean, you did, right?"

He nodded. "I brought him to the entrance of our camp, telling him that any moment, Redwillow would burst in and tell everyone that Crowfrost was the murder."

"And?"

"He did. And then we started towards where Redwillow had left you, and he started explaining what had happened. By the time we got to you, Crowfrost was dead, and your throat had been cut open. You were bleeding pretty bad," he admitted, tail bushing. "Redwillow ran back to camp again and got Littlecloud. We got you fixed up," he added proudly. "It's been three days, though."

Her eyes widened dramatically. "_Three days?_ But what about ThunderClan!"

"Your scent led into ShadowClan territory, so a patrol waited by the border. Blackstar sent me and Rosepaw over to tell your clan what happened, and we ran into the patrol. We told them what happened, and they brought us to explain to Firestar. Your family came down – Cinderheart, Lionblaze, Sparrowpaw . . . and three others. Rainpaw, his brother and someone else. Mole-something. 'Nose, I think."

"Mole_nose_," she echoed. Last time she had talked to him, he had most certainly been a 'paw.

He nodded. "Something like that. Yeah, they came down for a bit."

She blinked. "Huh. Well, thanks, Rockpaw."

"Oh." He paused. "It's Rockfur now."

She stared at him.

"The day after Crowfrost's murder, Blackstar named me Rockfur and Rosepaw is now Roseleaf. I wanted you to wake up first, so you could watch, but . . ."

"It's fine," she dismissed quickly.

He nodded.

"Hey . . ." she trailed off uncertainly. "You two were named after your parents . . . ?"

He nodded again. "Holly_leaf_ and Scorch_fur_."

She opened her mouth to say more, but Littlecloud padded into the den, his apprentice Aquapaw behind him, and behind her, Roseleaf and Blackstar.

"Hello, Hollypaw," Littlecloud greeted formally. "I'm happy to see that you have waken up."

She nodded mutely.

"Would you like to explain what happened?"

She glanced between Littlecloud and Blackstar, then finally settled her eyes on Rockfur, nodding.

Littlecloud motioned for her to start.

She shuffled her paws awkwardly. "When I was born, Hollyleaf possessed me."

Littlecloud opened his mouth to say something, blinked, and shut it again. Blackstar stared at her, claws sheathing and unsheathing nervously.

"She told me that she was killed, and that my destiny was to kill the cat that killed her—Crowfrost. We trained a lot in dreams, and her mate, Scorchfur, told Jayfeather that Lionblaze needed to be my mentor, because he's the strongest in the clan, and I would need a lot of help with training to beat a skilled killer."

She paused, breathing in deeply. "Sometimes Hollyleaf could control my body – that happened while I was fighting with Crowfrost. She killed him . . ."

Littlecloud nodded slowly, probably used to weird supernatural things like this. "I see. So Hollyleaf can hear us now?"

She nodded.

"Did anyone know of this?"

She glanced at Hollyleaf's kits. "Rockfur and Roseleaf. Jayfeather. Crowfrost and Redwillow both suspected, but . . ."

Blackstar sighed slightly, glancing around. "Can we speak with Hollyleaf, if it's possible?"

She hesitated.

"_I'll talk, twerp,_" Hollyleaf said quietly. A moment later, Hollyleaf was in control of her body.

Blackstar blinked in shock at the sudden change in eye-color she knew occurred, and Littlecloud titled his head slightly.

"Oh dear, Blackstar, you look like you're about to wet yourself." Was the first thing Hollyleaf meowed.

Aquapaw burst into a fit of giggles and Rockfur and Roseleaf both smiled slightly.

Blackstar sighed, shaking his head. "Why did I want to do this?" he muttered.

"Well that's not very nice."

Littlecloud shook his head, smiling. "Yeah, this is most certainly Hollyleaf."

"Err . . ." Blackstar mewed awkwardly. "How have you been, Hollyleaf?"

"Hollypaw's annoying."

She barely managed to stop herself from retorting.

Rockfur nodded slightly in agreement and Blackstar's eyes flashed with amusement. "I see."

"No, you don't see. She completely spazzed on me because I told her that she has an awesome destiny! It's ridiculous, really."

"Well, if you see it through a kit's eyes—"

"_Technically_, I did see it through a kit's eyes. And an apprentices eyes . . . she's still a spaz."

_Shut up, Hollyleaf!_ Hollypaw spat inwardly.

"Shut up, Hollypaw. This is my time to shine."

Blackstar's ear twitched slightly.

"Anyway, yeah, Crowfrost is dead, so all is good, right? He's buried too, right? He better be. He could very well come back from the dead and—"

"Yes, he is dead and buried," Blackstar interrupted, looking down.

"That reminds me," Hollyleaf muttered. "_Why_ in StarClan's name did you think it was a good idea to make _him_ deputy? Stupid!"

Blackstar's tail flicked slightly with irritation. "I didn't know he was the killer."

"Oh, but that still made it a good idea to make a cat with blue eyes and white fur deputy? Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Blackstar flicked his tail again. "I thought it was Redwillow."

"Oh, so you give Redwillow my kit to take care of? Yeah, that's smart!"

"Redwillow was the most suspicious of them all," Blackstar continued, ignoring her comment. "He was out when you were killed. Crowfrost had managed to get back quickly, and nothing seemed off about him. Redwillow had this weird look on his face."

"That's cause I saw him before I was murdered and I was acting a bit mentally instable. I thought he was heading back to camp after that, but I guess not . . . stupid."

Blackstar rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He hesitated. "What happens now?"

Hollyleaf was silent for a long time, and Hollypaw could hear her thoughts flicking around her head quickly.

"I don't know," Hollyleaf said at last. "I have no idea what happens now."

There was a long silence as everyone thought over what had been revealed.

"Well," Littlecloud said eventually, clearing his throat. "Tomorrow you should be able to head back to ThunderClan. Meanwhile, we'll send a patrol down to explain the situation." He looked at her expectantly. "That is, if you're fine with others knowing your secret."

Hollyleaf returned her body to her, and she hesitated. "I . . ." She paused. "I don't want to keep secrets anymore."

Littlecloud nodded. "I understand. But"—he glanced at Blackstar—"I think our clan would like to have final goodbyes with Hollyleaf. Would that be okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. It would be fine."

Blackstar turned to Rockfur and Roseleaf. "Would you two go over to ThunderClan and tell them?"

Rockfur gave Hollypaw a quick look, as if to confirm this was what she wanted, then looked back to Blackstar and nodded once. "We'll head out now." He glanced at Roseleaf. "If that's alright."

Roseleaf nodded, smiling slightly, and only now did Hollypaw realize that the smile wasn't genuine. Rockfur stared at his sister for a moment, before glancing back at Hollypaw, then nodding to Blackstar, Littlecloud and Aquapaw on his way out, Roseleaf at his heels.

Blackstar watched after them for a while before turning back to her. "I'm going to go tell the clan. You can wait here and have Littlecloud make sure everything's okay."

She sighed, resting her head on her front paws and murmuring answers to Littlecloud's questions—about how she was feeling _and_ Hollyleaf.

"You know that your whole life is going to change now the secret is out," Littlecloud mewed, checking the cut on her neck. "Right?"

She nodded slightly, trying not to interrupt his inspection. "I know. But I'm sick of living a lie. Even if they can't look at me the same—it's right that they shouldn't. I'm not normal."

"You're completely normal," Littlecloud replied. "StarClan has a fate planned for everyone. This was yours; others live their destinies as they should, just like you did." He smiled. "And don't think it's over yet. You've still got a life ahead of you, and I'm sure StarClan plans on giving you happiness in the end after what you've been through, and what you will be through in the future."

She looked away from him, blinking watery eyes and swallowing the lump in her throat. "I don't know. I'm a murderer now."

"But it was your destiny."

"And Crowfrost's was to kill?" she asked quietly.

He hesitated. "Some cats stray away from their destinies. I don't suppose we'll ever know if this was his or not. For now, we can only assume."

"So then how do we know for sure mine went the way it was supposed to?"

"Hollyleaf's here, isn't she?"

_Yes, but if I did what I was supposed to, shouldn't she be celebrating in StarClan?_

It suddenly occurred to her just how much she didn't want Hollyleaf to leave her.

She was annoying, nosy, and could just be downright mean if she wanted, but what best friend wasn't? And now, she wasn't sure what was to happen. Would Hollyleaf stay or go? Did she have a choice? But if she was going to leave, why was she still here? Shouldn't she have already disappeared?

Questions clouded her mind, and she barely noticed as Redwillow entered the den.

"Um, Hollypaw?" he asked quietly and she started. "Sorry," he apologized quickly.

"It's fine," she dismissed. "I was just thinking and I didn't notice you come in."

He nodded slightly, looking dazed as he settled beside her. "So, Blackstar just told the clan," he murmured. "I thought that might be the case – that you're actually Hollyleaf, that is."

"I'm two cats," she said patiently. "Hollyleaf and myself – Hollypaw." She smiled softly. "You want to talk to her, right?"

He nodded slightly, looking embarrassed.

She returned power to Hollyleaf and Redwillow perked up slightly as her eyes changed. "Heya, chicka."

A smile broke across his face. "Hollyleaf!"

"That's my name, you're wearing it out."

He shook his head slightly. "I've missed you."

"Well, I am amazing." She smiled back. "I've missed you too."

"Well, I am amazing."

They both laughed.

Hollypaw tuned them out, letting them catch up in peace, until after what seemed like hours, Littlecloud finally told Redwillow to let someone else have a turn talking to her.

Hollypaw recognized Olivenose, who looked slightly uncomfortable as she padded in, eyes flicking around nervously. She stopped in front of her, eyes dragging over to her, unblinking. "Are you really her?"

Hollyleaf nodded. "Olivenose . . . I am _so_ sorry I accused you of the deaths. I shouldn't have, right after we started getting along and—"

"It's fine," Olivenose interrupted quickly, tail twitching nervously. "It's fine," she said again. "I'm sorry too. I should've let you and Scorchfur be happy – I . . . I was really horrible to you and . . . how about we both forgive and forget?"

Hollyleaf nodded, and Hollypaw could sense the relief flooding through her.

"I'd like that. I'd really like that. I don't know what's going to happen to me, but whatever does . . . in the end, I don't want any enemies."

At the same time as each other, Hollyleaf and Olivenose reached their tails across each others, making an X.

Hollyleaf broke into a wide smile of relief and happiness.

"Whatever happens," Olivenose said quietly, "we're friends." With a stiff nod, she turned and walked back out, looking less tense and far more relieved.

More and more cats came in, but Hollypaw tuned out again until Rockfur walked back in with Roseleaf in tow.

"Your clan is freaking out right now," Rockfur meowed, settling down next to her. "We told them we'd bring you back tomorrow."

Hollyleaf shuffled. "This is a disaster waiting to happen," she murmured.

Rockfur shrugged and Roseleaf plopped down loudly.

"What happens, happens," he said simply. "How are you two doing?"

"Hollypaw is nervous," Hollyleaf stated. "I'm a little overwhelmed by all of this. Nothing I can't handle though."

Roseleaf yawned. "Why does ThunderClan smell so . . . weird?"

"Funny, I woke up thinking the same thing about ShadowClan," Hollypaw mewed when Hollyleaf let her back in control. "So what happened there anyway?"

"Well, we told them everything we know," Roseleaf mewed.

"And they yowled in horror, disbelief, the like," Rockfur finished. "Your family stared at us blankly, like, '_whaaa-?_' so it was pretty funny."

Hollypaw rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I bet."

"We just kinda left them in chaos. Have fun when you get back."

"Sometimes I hate you."

* * *

><p>"I'm scared," Hollypaw sniffed as they approached the ThunderClan border.<p>

Rockfur twined his tail with hers reassuringly. "I'll come with you to the ThunderClan camp, okay?"

She nodded slowly and Rockfur nuzzled her side affectionately.

The small patrol stopped in front of the border.

"Remember Hollypaw," Blackstar rumbled, "You're allowed back in ShadowClan any time. We're your friends here and we owe you quite a lot."

She bowed her head politely, embarrassed. "Thank you, Blackstar."

He nodded. "Redwillow and I will head back." He turned to Roseleaf and Rockfur. "I suspect that you two will be fine taking her back?"

They both nodded.

Blackstar dipped his head in farewell and Redwillow whipped his tail around wildly. "Bye!" he called as they started away.

Hollypaw shook out her pelt nervously as they stepped over the border, feeling less at home in her own territory than she had in ShadowClan.

"You'll be fine," Rockfur murmured.

She nodded stiffly as they continued towards camp, silence falling over them.

"Blackstar said you could come back whenever you want," Rockfur reminded. "So if you need to get away, come find me."

Before she could respond, Roseleaf cut in. "You two shouldn't do that." At the confused looks, she continued. "You two are always together at gatherings, talk to each other if we run into each other on patrols, meet up occasionally, accident or not. There's rumors," she added in a quieter tone as the ThunderClan camp came into view.

"Rumors?" Hollypaw questioned in confusion. "What rumors?"

"About . . . you know, you two. Some cats think that you two are . . . _together._"

Rockfur and Hollypaw shared a glance before turning to look at Roseleaf's uncomfortable expression and laughing together.

"Us?" Rockfur sputtered between laughs. "Oh StarClan, that is so wrong!"

"Me and him? _Together_?" Hollypaw giggled. "I can't even begin to—that is—are you serious?"

Roseleaf nodded, tail swishing in embarrassment. "It's not funny! You two haven't heard them, but I have!"

The rest of the trip consisted of Rockfur and her pretending to flirt, then laughing whenever Roseleaf reacted.

They waltzed past Dustpelt, who was guarding the entrance. He stared at them, eyes blank, then turned away, ears down.

"Hollypaw!" A voice called from across the camp, and she was suddenly surrounded by Molepaw – or nose's – scent as he wound around her, pushing away the ShadowClan cats in the process. "I was so worried about you," he murmured, twining his tail with hers.

"Molepaw." She smiled slightly, heart warming in relief that he still wanted to be her friend. "I missed you too."

"It's Molenose," he corrected quietly, not removing himself from her side for a long moment, before he finally leaned away and licked her nose. "I was made a warrior the day Crowfrost died. Cherrypaw is still an apprentice though, because of when she attacked you."

Just one more reason for Cherrypaw to hate her.

She looked away from Molenose's bright amber eyes, realizing that all the cats in the camp were watching her, eyes unreadable.

Molenose followed her gaze. "Ignore them. They just can't accept things easily."

She nodded but pulled further away from him so she was pressed against Rockfur again, and Molenose's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Jayfeather will want to see you," he said after a moment, voice suddenly tense.

She nodded, looking towards Jayfeathers den. She glanced at her ShadowClan friends, wondering if they were going to leave now, but as she started towards the den, Rockfur matched her step for step.

"Thanks," she whispered to him and Roseleaf as she caught up to Hollypaw's other side.

"You know we'll do anything for you," Rockfur replied quietly, tail twining around hers again, and Roseleaf leaned into her slightly.

She hesitated outside Jayfeathers den, but he called out, "Come in, Hollypaw," in a tired voice, and she walked in, Rockfur and Roseleaf halting at the entrance.

"Hi, Uncle Jayfeather," she murmured, head hanging.

He cuffed her ear and she flinched. "You idiot," he hissed. "You almost got yourself killed. And now the whole clan knows what happened!" His tail swished, narrowly missing Briarlight, who was coiled up in her nest, watching intently. Jayfeather sighed, "At least you are alive though. You had everyone worried."

She nodded slightly, scuffling her paws. "Sorry."

"Well, have you said hello to your family yet?" he asked.

She shook her head, then added, "Only you."

He nodded. "You probably should after you check in with Firestar. Actually," he started again, looking thoughtful, "you should grab your family and bring them with you when you talk to him."

Talking to her family. Something she would prefer to avoid, but knew she couldn't.

"I'll get them," Jayfeather told her, sensing her discomfort. "You go to Firestar."

She nodded, partially relieved, and stepped back out of the den, facing Rockfur and Roseleaf. "I have to talk to Firestar now."

Rockfur and Roseleaf shared a glance. "We'll come," Roseleaf meowed.

"We told them, after all," Rockfur added.

She grinned in relief. "Thanks guys." She turned to Firestar's den, heading towards it with quick steps, before she glanced across camp, where her eyes landed on Rainpaw, who was staring at her. When he caught her gaze, he looked away, and she tried not to feel stung. And failed.

Clearing her throat outside Firestar's den, she poked her head in. "Firestar?" she squeaked.

His green eyes flashed in the darkness of his den. "Come in, Hollypaw."

She padded in slowly, hanging her head awkwardly. She stopped in front of Firestar, eyes flicking up briefly to look at him, then back down to the ground. "Uncle Jayfeather said I should come talk to you." Behind her, she heard her family enter, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the ground again.

"Yes, talking would be nice," Firestar agreed evenly. "You're not in trouble, Hollypaw. But I think we need an explanation."

She flicked her tail, and dove back into the story before going completely silent, letting everyone think it through.

"That's . . ." Firestar started and stopped. "Is Hollyleaf still with you now?"

She nodded. _And now you'll all want to talk to her?_

"You know some of the clan will want to speak with her, right?"

She nodded.

Firestar stood up and stretched. "Well, I guess that leaves us one more thing to do."

Hollypaw looked up blankly.

Firestar was staring down at her, smiling his usual, kind smile. "I think it was time you were made a warrior."

* * *

><p><strong>**Spoilers** So, did anyone else get The Last Hope and think, '<em>Wow, this is a piece of crap<em>'? I did! Maybe I was just expecting too much, but jeez it seemed rushed beyond belief, the 'gruesome' deaths were just breaking necks, and Redwillow is such a little—ugh. I wish I had made him the murder, I just really hate him now. Bleh. Or maybe it's just my post-Warriors depression making me hate it. Meh . . . **End Spoilers****

**Anyway, to make up for my not updating, here is all the chapters I have written. Enjoy and review if you have the time. Sincere apologies for the wait, my life is just hectic. The next chapter will be shorter than usual, probably, but it's important.**


	19. Viva la Vida

**Inspiration song: Viva la Vida - Coldplay**

* * *

><p>"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather around the Highrock for a clan meeting!" The familiar words echoed around the camp, catching the attention of the cats that milled around.<p>

Brambleclaw, who was leading Rainpaw, Dawnpaw and Squirrelflight out of camp, halted in his steps, turning and glancing at his leader before murmuring something to his group, causing them to disassemble. Jayfeather watched Hollypaw closely, blind blue eyes glinting in the sunlight. Lionblaze, beside him, stared at his paws.

As did most of the clan, when they saw Hollypaw.

Hollypaw glanced up quickly, looking at her brother, who was standing a few tail-lengths away from her, looking up at the sky blankly.

"Sparrowpaw, please come forward."

Sparrowpaw turned his gaze back to the earth, getting to his paws. He spared Hollypaw a small glance, and if she didn't know better, she would've thought she had seen approval in them as he walked forward.

"I, Firestar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn." Firestar let out a light sigh, staring at Sparrowpaw unsurely. "Sparrowpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

There was no hesitation as Sparrowpaw replied, "I do."

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Sparrowpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Sparrowflight. StarClan honors your bravery and strength, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

There was silence as Firestar rested his muzzle on Sparrowflights head, and he responded by licking his shoulder.

"Hollypaw, please come forward," Firestar called once Sparrowflight had backed away from him.

She stepped towards him, trying to ignore the stares that bore into her skin. _Petalpaw isn't here._

"I, Firestar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn."

Hollypaw stared blankly at a rock behind him. _Petalpaw should be here with me._

"Hollypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your clan, even at the cost of your life?"

_She isn't here._ "I do."_ She's supposed to be here with me._

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name."

_She isn't here with me._

"Hollypaw…"

_Because she's dead, dead, dead . . ._

"From this moment on you will be known as . . ."

_She's gone. There's nothing left…_

"Firestar," she interrupted.

Silence greeted her for a long moment as everyone stared at her with shocked eyes.

_Petalpaw's gone._

"I would like to request my warrior name."

Understanding flitted across his eyes, but she could hear whispers starting behind her.

"_Is she going to request Hollyleaf's name?_"

"_She wouldn't._"

"_Will Firestar really let her?_"

"Very well," Firestar rumbled. "What would you like your new name to be, Hollypaw?"

_She's gone._

"Holly…"

"_But only physically,_" Hollyleaf finished her thought quietly.

"—petal."

"Very well," Firestar repeated. "Hollypaw, from this moment on you will be known as Hollypetal. StarClan honors your courage and enterprise, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

"_Hollypetal,_" Hollyleaf purred. "_What a wonderful name, for an amazing cat._"

But from the clan, there was only silence.

Hollypetal stared at them coldly.

Rockfur and Roseleaf were looking at each other unsurely. They would be cheering if they knew they were allowed to—but this wasn't their clan, and they didn't know their place.

Cinderheart and Lionblaze were both looking at the ground.

Jayfeather was glancing around the camp, eyes icy chips as he glared.

Molenose shuffled.

Rainpaw looked around him, looking surprised, before finally anger settled over his face and he turned to stare at her. "Hollypetal!" he called loudly. "Sparrowflight!"

Molenose joined in a moment later, looking relieved to have not brought attention to himself by doing what Rainpaw had done, and she felt a pang in her chest. "Hollypetal! Sparrowflight!"

Roseleaf howled at the top of her lungs, Rockfur sitting beside her, looking embarrassed. "Hollypetal! Sparrowflight!"

Slowly, the rest of the clan joined in, most with small, unsure voices.

She sent Rainpaw a grateful look, letting a smile grow on her face.

"_Hollypetal and Rainpaw, sitting in a tree,_" Hollyleaf sang, and Hollypetal didn't bother telling her off this time.

Firestar smiled at her. "You two have to watch over the camp tonight," he reminded, looking up at the darkening sky.

She nodded at him, keeping her mouth shut tightly, before bounding over to the entrance of camp.

"Well, congrats," Rockfur mewed, walking up to her with Roseleaf in tow. "We have to get back to ShadowClan now, but I'm sure we'll be seeing you soon."

"Congratulations," Roseleaf murmured, nuzzling her affectionately as Rockfur flicked her side with his tail. "Bye," she meowed as her and her brother started out of camp.

She waved her tail in farewell.

"Well, like they said, congrats on being made a warrior," Molenose meowed, padding up beside her. "After what you've done, you really deserve it, Hollypetal."

She nodded a thank you.

Molenose grinned. "Well, have fun watching over the camp." She rolled her eyes at him. "No, it's really fun! I mean, what with the not sleeping, the sitting uncomfortably, the intruders that don't come…"

She swatted at him.

"Hey!" He shook out his fur, backing away from her. "Well, I'll be in the warriors den, having a nice, long sleep."

She stuck her tongue out, then turned to Rainpaw as he approached.

"I expect a thank you for putting myself on the spot like that."

She shoved her tail in her mouth, shaking her head.

"I didn't mean now, idiot. Tomorrow. I know you aren't allowed to talk right now."

She nodded quickly, spitting out her tail.

"I also expect answers," he meowed, eyes narrowing and tail swishing, "for what I've been told recently."

She shuffled her paws, nodding in a rather guilty manner despite not really being guilty of anything against him.

"Night, furball," he finished, rolling his eyes as he walked away.

She turned forward, ignoring Sparrowflight as he joined her, sitting down silently and wrapping his tail around his paws delicately. It was unnerving, sitting right beside the brother that had tried to kill her in the dark of the night, but she didn't react on the outside, putting up a brave front.

_It wasn't Sparrowflight,_ she reminded herself. _It was Hawkfrost._

She yawned and crouched down, fluffing her fur out against the breeze to keep herself warm, eyes turning to tired slits, but she remained wide awake.

Then she jolted straight back to her paws as the camp and forest started crumbling around her.

It wasn't literally _falling apart_, more like the trees, grass and everything in between was being whited-out until she was in another world.

There was _nothing_.

Not a thing.

No grass, no sky, no trees, not even Sparrowflight.

Panic washed over her and she let out a wail of terror at the sight, whipping around to look in different directions.

_Nothing._

"_Hollypetal!_"

She winced when Hollyleaf formed in front of her. Her face held a panicked look, and her fur was moving as if there was wind blowing, but Hollypetal could feel none. She stepped towards her, but Hollyleaf shook her head frantically.

"No," she meowed, voice sounding oddly distant. "Hollypetal . . . this is it."

She stopped mid-paw-step, staring at Hollyleaf blankly. "What do you mean?"

Hollyleaf stepped away from her, looking around herself frantically.

_What's she seeing that I'm not?_

"Hollypetal—this is _it_," she said again. "We . . . You fulfilled your destiny, twerp," she mewed, voice quivering with emotion. "I can't stay any longer."

She jolted forward as Hollyleaf stepped back. "What? No, you can't leave me!"

Hollyleaf looked down, stepping back again slowly.

"No," Hollypetal choked. "You can't leave me too, Hollyleaf, _please_."

The wind that Hollypetal couldn't feel picked up, practically blowing Hollyleaf away and howling viciously in both of their ears.

And then Hollyleaf was gone, the words '_I'm sorry_' dying on her lips.

* * *

><p><strong>And, cue me apologizing for updating so ridiculously awkwardly: I'M SORRY IT ISNT MY FAULT EVEN THOUGH IT IS I LOVE YOU ALL DON'T LEAVE ME<strong>

**Cue me laughing in your faces because cliffhangers: hahaha oops did I do that?**

**Cue me signing out: Ciao peeps.**

**But in all seriousness I am very sorry for the wait. My computer has been acting up and even deleted some of my files, which was devastating, and my dad and his wife are on the verge of splitting up because her son is being whiny because he doesn't like living with us and he's threatening to kill himself for it (fucking bitch that isn't a reason to kill yourself that's a reason for me to break your nose.)**


	20. Do or Die

**Do or Die – Papa Roach**

* * *

><p><em>It felt like her body and mind were being ripped in two, like she was losing herself to nothing.<em>

_Her mouth opened in a cry of pain, but nothing escaped it, not even air._

_The whiteness that had formed around her and Hollyleaf crumpled around her, shredding itself apart until she was left alone in nothing but darkness._

* * *

><p>She woke up in the medicine cats' den and the sun was shining through the entrance.<p>

Naturally, Hollypetal tried to scramble to her paws, but a gray paw shot out, knocking her back down, and she looked up, wide-eyed, at Jayfeather, who was glaring down at her.

"You're in the medicine cats den for a reason, mouse-brain," he snapped. "Now stay put."

"What happened?" she choked, staring up at him helplessly.

He sat down, tilting his head at her, eyes narrowing further. "I was hoping you could tell me that. Last night, you screamed like the Dark Forest was after you and then blacked out."

She looked around the den shakily. Something felt wrong. Something felt _off_.

_What happened?_

She scrounged through her mind, trying to place what had occurred, trying to remember why she felt so _empty_, until pain shrieked through her head, and she gasped, burying her face in her mossy nest.

She felt something nudge her side, and she looked back up, eyes focusing blearily on Briarlight, who was looking at her worriedly.

"Hollypetal, you need to remember," Jayfeather said gently. "Last night . . . she left, didn't she?"

Agony washed through her. "She . . . she _left_ me."

Disbelief: _No. No way. Hollyleaf wouldn't leave me, not her. She wouldn't leave me alone. No way._

Betrayal: _She's gone. She did leave. She left me._

Terror: _I'm all alone now. There isn't anyone here for me anymore._

Loneliness:_ She told me she was sorry. She wanted to stay with me. It isn't fair._

Anger:

"_No!_" she wailed. "She didn't want to leave me! She should still be here!" Jayfeather opened his mouth to interject, but she waved on, "How could—why would they take her from me? Why her? Why her too?"

Sadness: she curled into her nest, throat suddenly tight and a small whimper escaped her involuntarily.

"Hollypetal . . ." Jayfeather started again quietly. "You'll be alright. You've made it through rough times before, you can do it again."

"But what if I don't _want_ to do it again?" she yelled, her anger resurfacing. "Haven't I suffered enough? Haven't I gone through _enough_ rough times?"

His tail rested lightly on her shoulder, and she resisted the urge to scratch it. "Hollypetal, you can get through this."

"But I don't _want_ to!" she howled. "I _want_ to be with Hollyleaf!"

Apparently finally losing his patience, he cuffed her ear. "You don't always get what you want!" he snarled. "I wish she was here too—she was _my_ sister! Almost all of our clan mates wish she was still here, _but she isn't_. The sooner you accept it, the sooner the pain will leave."

_I don't _want_ to accept it! I want Hollyleaf back here, with me, always with me . . ._

Jayfeather sighed, climbing to his paws. "I'm going to go tell the others that you've woken up. You scared Sparrowflight half to death when you wailed in his ear."

She stared at the side of his den, not allowing the truth to register properly though her mind.

_Hollyleaf wouldn't leave me. She wouldn't._

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry that this is so short. I almost typed shart. That too.<strong>

**Anyway, few things.**

**First, if for some reason I ever disappear off this site, find me on Wattpad, m'kay? I'll be posting my fanfics there if anything happens to them here. I go by Cinderpaw11 there, too.**

**Second, if you read my Birth stories, you should probably read my profile.**

**Third, this has been written for quite awhile. I wanted to just finish up the last few chapters and post them all at once. That won't be happening because last month, just before Christmas, a lot of stuff happened. A few months before Christmas, my abusive step-father moved out. A few days after he left, one of our cats died. I couldn't write about cats after having one day, as you can probably imagine. And then when we started getting stuff sorted out (about Christmas time) our miniature horse died. And then the next day an author I like killed himself. And then the NEXT day, my mums chihuahua that we've had since I was a toddler had a stroke and had to be put down.**

**So. Yeah. Oh and through all of this my brother went to college and also came back. Wow.**

**Anyway, I'm starting to write more, finally. The next chapter is almost finished as well so yeah. Things should pick up a little, I hope. Anyway, thanks for reading and sticking around and stuff. Last year was really hard, but I want to write more this year. I'm also doing a lot better with my depression and school since my step-dad left, in case you care (you don't) so anyway things are getting better which means more writing time. You get it.**


	21. Thank You

**Inspirational song: Thank You – Simple Plan (Disclaimer: I obviously do not own this.)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>One Moon Later<strong>_

* * *

><p>Hollypetal exited the warrior's den, shaking the cramps from her legs. Flashing a smile at Spiderleg, who was on guard duty, she turned and padded towards the fresh-kill pile lazily.<p>

The only other cats that were awake were Brambleclaw, Frostpaw and Briarlight. Brambleclaw was watching the camp, looking relaxed. Frostpaw was splayed out in a small splash of light from the oncoming dawn, tail flicking as he watched a grasshopper jump by him. Briarlight was doing her scheduled exercises, watching Spiderleg mischievously.

Hollypetal plucked a sparrow off the top of the diminishing fresh-kill pile and walked over to Frostpaw, plopping beside him with a loud huff.

"Good morning," he mewed, not taking his eyes off the grasshopper. "That's a yummy looking breakfast."

"The sparrow or grasshopper?"

He jolted forward, one paw smacking into the grasshopper, sending it flying a small distance. He jumped at it again, pinning it beneath both of his front paws. Staring down excitedly at them, tail swishing with uncontainable excitement, he lifted one paw and the grasshopper jumped quickly, only to be brought back down once more.

"You're such a kit," she mewed to him as he padded back over, leaving the poor bug to sort itself out.

"It was calling out to me," he replied simply, watching it closely as it hopped out of sight.

"Grasshoppers can't talk—don't be ridiculous."

"I meant the kit in me. It was calling out, saying _play, play, play!_"

"Well, you succeeded. Is your inner kit proud?"

"Oh yes. Ooh, sparrow!" He snagged his claw in her half eaten bird, dragging it closer to him and taking a large bite out of it.

"Hey!" she yelped in protest. "That's _mine_!"

He blinked at her, chewing slowly before what she said seemed to click. "Really? I could have sworn I grabbed something..." He took another bite, grinning when she scowled.

"You grabbed the grasshopper."

He hummed, looking absentmindedly past her, taking another bite out of _her_ sparrow. "Hey"—he blinked out of his daze, looking at her again—"did you want to go on a patrol together?"

She tilted her head, feeling somewhat awkward. "Just the two of us?"

He shook his head and she couldn't help but feel relieved. "I was going to invite Rainpaw too, if that was alright." He got to his paws and started towards the apprentices den.

"Um, yeah, sure," she murmured, the awkward feeling immediately coming back. It wasn't that she had a problem with Rainpaw—it was that she _didn't_ have a problem with Rainpaw. In fact, lately she had been really enjoying his company.

_Ew_.

The silence had been irking, and she was almost always with Rainpaw when she wasn't busy. Him or Molenose, who had been becoming increasingly protective of her and determined to keep them away from each other.

To put it lightly, it had been annoying.

_Speak of the devil,_ she thought crossly as Molenose waltzed out of the warrior's den. Almost instantly, his eyes were drawn to her and he smiled. She flicked her tail in response, and just as he started walking towards her, Frostpaw and Rainpaw padded out of the apprentices den, intercepting him.

There was a long pause. Molenose glared at Rainpaw. Frostpaw looked at his paws. Rainpaw twitched his tail.

Then, without a word, Rainpaw turned toward her and walked over. "Hey," he greeted breezily. "Frostpaw said we were going to go out hunting with you?"

She sat up quickly and nodded. "Uh, yeah!"

Frostpaw joined them, still looking down, Molenose a few steps behind.

"You're going out hunting?" he asked. "Do you want me to come?"

_No, not really._ "Uh—"

"That's a great idea," Brambleclaw interrupted. "The more of you, the more food for the clan. Plus, just because you two are _almost_ warriors," he said to Frostpaw and Rainpaw, "doesn't mean you are yet."

Molenose looked satisfied; Frostpaw and Rainpaw looked annoyed. She wasn't quite sure how to feel about what was about to happen.

"Well, it should be fun," she offered meekly. "Going out hunting with three of my friends."

"Friends forever," Frostpaw sang. "Right, Molenose?" He looked right at Molenose in a daring way, as if saying _Only friends, right?_

She blinked. Was Frostpaw trying to set her and Rainpaw up?

_Ew ew ew._

"Forever is a long time," Molenose said awkwardly as they started out of camp.

Frostpaw leapt onto the words, looking triumphant. "So you don't want to be friends with her forever? That's too bad. I mean, we're clan mates and you two do get along."

Molenose scowled. Frostpaw looked smug. Rainpaw looked faintly amused.

"No, what I meant was"—he flicked his eyes to her momentarily, and she pretended to be interested in a passing cloud—"that maybe one day we wont be _just_ friends."

"Did you hear that, Hollypetal?" Frostpaw all but screamed. "Molenose wants to _mate_ with you!"

Normally such a comment would make her embarrassed beyond belief, but that absolute _bluntness_ of it all made her trip over her own paws and burst into fits of giggles. "Frostpaw," she sputtered, "you're so _gross_!"

Molenose was slumped in embarrassment, and when the word _gross_ left her mouth, hurt flashed across his gaze, but she was still laughing too hard to apologize.

Rainpaw was grinning wildly and Frostpaw looked relieved to have finally affected something.

"You mean you _don't like_ Molenose, Hollypetal?" Frostpaw continued.

Hollypetal tilted her head, feigning ignorance. "He's a good friend."

Frostpaw looked at Rainpaw. "Oh, alright. How about you two go ahead—I wanted to talk with Molenose."

Molenose looked like he was about to protest, but Rainpaw was already shrugging. "Sure, I guess." He looked somewhat puzzled, but started walking ahead, Hollypetal following after a moments hesitation.

"What," she hissed under her breath to him when they were far enough away that Molenose wouldn't overhear, "is your brother doing?"

"I don't know," he meowed, looking beyond amused. "But I like it."

"It's certainly amusing," she agreed ruefully. "But he's embarrassing Molenose and me!"

"Do you like Molenose?" he asked abruptly, looking straight ahead.

She blinked, surprised. "No. What I said back there is true—he's a good friend, but I don't... I mean I haven't... I haven't really even considered getting a mate before."

"If he asked you to be his mate, what would you say?"

"...I don't know. I'd probably ask to think about it."

"Do you think you'd be open to having a relationship with him?"

She stopped abruptly, frowning. "Rainpaw, is my love life any of your business?" she snapped harshly, embarrassment prickling her fur.

He stopped too, scowling. "So you _would_ be," he accused.

She thought carefully before replying. "Molenose is really nice and we get along great. If I opened my mind to it, I think I could probably like him, yes. But right now, a relationship with him wouldn't happen. He is my friend, and that's all I want from him. Why do you _care_, anyway?"

"I don't," he denied, almost too quickly. "I'm just bored—and I like gossip."

"Well then talk to Cherryfall," she snapped, beyond annoyed. "She and the queens are filled with useless words."

She turned and continued walking, trying to control her emotions, wishing Hollyleaf was there to give her advice, or even mock her. Anything was better than the silence that was louder than anything.

"Hey, stupid, don't you know better than to think of her by now?"

She jumped violently, her mind finally connecting with the fact that her paws had, once more, lead her to the ShadowClan border, where Rockfur was sitting calmly.

"Rockfur!" she exclaimed delightedly, jolting forward until she was just in front of him.

"The patrol you're with is filled with annoyed cats," he meowed, sounding amused. "Molenose, Rainpaw and Frostpaw, right?"

She nodded.

"Well aren't _you_ quite popular with the tomcats?" he teased, shifting closer to her. "I haven't seen you for awhile. How is everything?"

"Quiet," burst out of her mouth and she dug her claws into the wet earth irritably.

"Even with them around?"

She slapped the cheeky look off his face affectionately. "How are you and Roseleaf?"

He shrugged. "Same old, same old." He paused thoughtfully. "Actually she's pretty sad about losing Mom again, but…"

"Sorry," Hollypetal mewed, guilt washing over her.

"Don't be," he waved off. "It's not your fault."

_Completely._

"Well—"

"Oh StarClan, not _him_ again," Rainpaw's exasperated voice meowed behind her as he caught up.

She held back her defensive comments as Frostpaw and Molenose arrived. Frostpaw sent Rockfur an awkward glance, and Molenose was quick to check that he was on the ShadowClan side of the border.

"This is supposed to be a hunting patrol, not a casual meet-up," Molenose said commandingly, voice harsher than usual. Chances were that that was Frostpaw's fault.

Still, her defense's continued to rise as Molenose glanced disgustedly at Rockfur. "Lay off," she snapped, earning her a surprised look. "Rockfur is my best friend, ShadowClan or not." She felt her fur lift slightly. "If you haven't _forgotten_ already, _I'm_ part ShadowClan."

"_Hollyleaf_ was part ShadowClan," he spat back, apparently in a worse mood than she had first realized. "She was ThunderClan, WindClan _and_ ShadowClan. Unlike _her_, you have _clean, ThunderClan_ blood."

Her claws shot out again, sinking into the ground threateningly. Rockfur's face was rock-hard with anger. Frostpaw looked like he wanted to make a run for it. Rainpaw was giving Molenose a look of pure shock.

It was harder to restrain her emotions without Hollyleaf there to tell her to back down. _Attacking a clan mate is against the warrior code_.

That rule apparently didn't go through Rainpaw's mind, because before she could begin to tell Molenose off, Rainpaw's claws were raking his cheek harshly.

Molenose hissed loudly, turning and glaring threateningly at Rainpaw. Rainpaw didn't back down, keeping his burning amber eyes steady as he glared straight back at Molenose.

There was a long moment before realization crossed Molenose's face, quickly followed by mortification. "Hollypetal—I—I didn't—"

"If you had any hope of actually becoming my mate," she started icily, "It's gone now."

His expression immediately turned to one of hurt. "No—Hollypetal, please don't say that—"

"Get away from me," she spat, looking away from him.

There was another pause as Molenose debated whether he would stay or go. The latter lost. "Hollypetal, please—"

"Are you deaf?" Rockfur snarled, interrupting Molenose. "She said to _get away _from her." She heard his claws scrape against the ground furiously. "So _go_ before I make you."

"I…" He broke off, and a second later she could hear his paw-steps leading him away.

"What a piece of fox-dung," Rockfur growled after another tense pause.

"He's usually nicer than that," Frostpaw defended awkwardly.

"Don't," Rainpaw warned. "Don't try to defend him after what he just said."

"Uh," Frostpaw meowed.

"Are you okay?" Rockfur asked, turning back to her. He looked like he was debating chasing Molenose down and beating him. Or maybe that was just what she was debating.

"I'll be fine," she replied. "I just wasn't expecting something like that from him."

He flicked his tail awkwardly, and cleared his throat. "Well… how about you come over?" he invited. "You seem like you need a break, and Roseleaf would love to see you."

Sure, she was allowed over according to Blackstar, but she had never taken the offer up. She had been avoiding social outings since Hollyleaf had left. She wasn't even sure how to hold a conversation anymore.

"The invitation was for you, Hollypetal. You're allowed to be on our territory—but if you try to hunt I'll chase you off."

She almost smiled. "I…I could use a break," she admitted, stepping over the borderline. She looked back at Rainpaw and Frostpaw over it, and felt sad. _This is how it is, isn't it?_ she thought miserably. _There's always going to be a barrier between two of my closest friends and I. They'll never understand what it's like to be like this._

Then Rainpaw stepped over the border and the mental imagery was shattered.

"Uh," Frostpaw said again.

"I'm going too," Rainpaw stated, glancing quickly at Frostpaw. "You can tell Firestar where we are, can't you? And maybe catch something on the way back to camp so Brambleclaw doesn't get mad."

"Uh," Frostpaw continued.

Rockfur narrowed his eyes at Rainpaw. "Try to hunt here and I'll claw you."

Rainpaw rolled his eyes.

"Is he allowed to come?" Hollypetal asked dumbly.

Rockfur looked up thoughtfully. "It makes sense that there would be more than one of you. Coming over by yourself is a little reckless, isn't it? Besides, he'll probably make you more comfortable."

Rainpaw make her comfortable. Yeah, right.

Rockfur looked at Frostpaw. "Well, go on then. Shoo."

"Uh?" he said again, but turned and started away.

Rockfur flicked his tail. "Come on, then. We don't have all day."

* * *

><p>The smell of ShadowClan still made Hollypetal uncomfortable. Rainpaw didn't look particularly thrilled either, though he had just invited himself, so he would have to get over that. Only Rockfur seemed comfortable walking over the damp ground, each step confident and proud. He was ShadowClan through-and-through.<p>

Rainpaw shook his paws every fox length, signalling he was not enjoying the trek through the marsh.

Hollypetal herself was feeling rather indifferent. It felt familiar, the pine under paw, the damp earth sinking under her weight, Rockfur's scent washing over her. It made her feel more at home than she had felt in a long time. But the smell was enough to drive even the sanest of cats' crazy. How Hollyleaf had ever gotten used to it after spending her life in ThunderClan, she would never understand.

"The camps right up ahead," Rockfur meowed, filling the silence, probably for Rainpaw's benefit.

She bobbed her head at him, picking up her pace. She remembered exactly where it was. It wasn't exactly forgettable after her near-death experience.

Behind her, Rainpaw let out a small uncomfortable growl.

"I didn't invite you," Rockfur meowed.

She didn't need to turn around to know he was bristling. "I _know_ that."

Rockfur just shook his head, sending Hollypetal an irritated look. Ah, so Rainpaw was mentally blaming Rockfur. How she had become such good friends with such a thickhead she would never know.

When they walked through the entrance to ShadowClan's camp, heads jerked up at the scent of ThunderClan, and threats were immediately forming on curled lips. When the few cats that loitered the area realized Rockfur was escorting her and Rainpaw, they relaxed, though not completely. Hollyleaf's disappearance was no secret, and Hollypetal was just another ThunderClan warrior to them. Her lost credibility stung her harder than she thought it would have.

"Ignore them," Rockfur said as one warrior darted off to the leaders den. He led them to a stump that sat at the side of the camp, tail tip twitching. "Remember, Blackstar gave you permission to be here. Rainpaw, not so much, but he probably won't mind."

Rainpaw shot him a glare but, thankfully, remained quiet.

"I'm going to check the warriors den for Roseleaf. I'll be right back." Without waiting for her to protest—because they both knew she would—he bounded away.

Hollypetal sighed, settling between the roots of the trunk, trying to make herself invisible. Rainpaw, also sighing, sat beside her, looking around carelessly.

The cats of ShadowClan had all turned back to their own business, apparently finding no threat in the two of them. The only one still watching her was Redwillow, who flicked his tail in greeting before getting to his paws.

Before he could reach them, Rockfur padded back out of the warrior's den, alone. He and Redwillow reached them at the same time, glancing at each other easily.

Redwillow leapt onto the stump and looked down at her. "Hi, Hollypetal, I thought that was you," he greeted, casually sprawling over the stump. "What brings you to ShadowClan today? Did you finally realize that the rumours are true and that it _is_ the best of all clans?"

That coaxed a small smile out of her. "No, I still prefer ThunderClan." He scoffed. "But ShadowClan would definitely be my second choice."

He nodded, casting a look at Rainpaw. "And who is this? Aren't you a little too young to have a mate?"

She didn't bother correcting him, figuring that Rainpaw would get in his face about it. Instead, there was a long, semi-awkward pause, before she and Rainpaw both turned to glare at each other.

"Why didn't you deny it?" he demanded before she could snap the same thing at him.

"I thought you were going to!" she spat back, bristling defensively.

"Well, I thought _you_ were going to!" he huffed. "So you should have!"

"What kind of logic it that?!"

"You were the one who was talking about getting together with Molenose!"

"No I wasn't! That was you and Frostpaw meddling!"

"Well you didn't deny it!"

She rolled her eyes exasperatedly and turned her head away from him pointedly, only to see Redwillow and Rockfur both shaking with restrained laughter. "Oh, shut up!"

Redwillow swallowed back his laughter and cleared his throat. "Well, I can see I've caused enough trouble for the time being." He backed off the stump, looking between the ThunderClan duo pleasantly. "I can tell you two will have beautiful, beautiful kits. Bye!"

Rockfur shook his head at Redwillow as he retreated, Rainpaw growling loudly after him.

"Sorry," Rockfur meowed after a few moments. "We're trying to teach him manners, really."

Rainpaw turned away from her and sat facing the other way, making Rockfur send him yet another irate look. He was probably regretting letting Rainpaw come by now. He directed his attention to her when he finished with the scathing look that had gone ignored. "What was that back at the border anyway? I've never seen such hostility from that guy."

"Guess he wasn't as okay with everything as previously thought."

"No," Rainpaw said, keeping his eyes trained away from her. "It's because you've been acting all stupid since Hollyleaf left."

"Don't call me stupid," she grumbled, ignoring the point he'd made. She _had_ been acting different since Hollyleaf left, but she hadn't been acting _stupid._

"Sad," he corrected himself, sounding angry. "You've gotten a lot sadder, and he hates Hollyleaf for leaving you alone because it makes you _sad_. He lashed out because he's mad at himself because he can't help and the only other cat he can blame is her."

She looked away from them. "It doesn't excuse what he said."

"I didn't say it did," he snapped, bristling again. "For StarClan's sake, it's like everything I say to you just goes right over your head!"

"What do you know?" she snarled back, and then they were both bristling and facing separate directions.

Rockfur shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat, looking around ShadowClan's camp. "Hey, Raccoonpaw!" he called abruptly, prompting her to look at him again. He was staring at a grey and black tabby that was halfway to the camp entrance. He still had one paw in the air as he looked over his shoulder at Rockfur nervously. Rockfur flicked his tail and Raccoonpaw darted over.

"Um, yes, Rockfur?" he asked, tail swishing.

"Do you know where Roseleaf is?" Rockfur replied, looking past Racconpaw as a hunting patrol arrived. Roseleaf wasn't among them.

Raccoonpaw glanced at the patrol and shook his head. "No, I haven't seen her for awhile."

"Really? I recall you two going out together early this morning." Rockfur glared down at Raccoonpaw, expression unimpressed.

"Uh, well, yes," Raccoonpaw said quickly. "We did go out this morning! But we both came back. I went out to patrol the RiverClan border, and she wasn't here when I got back, so, I don't know where she is, you see . . ."

"Is that so?" Rockfur murmured, looking at the camp entrance thoughtfully.

Raccoonpaw's paws scuffed the earth. "Do you want me to go look for her?"

He looked back down at him. "No, it's fine. If you see her, though, tell her I was looking for her."

Raccoonpaw's shoulders relaxed. "Alright. I'll see you later then." Rockfur nodded and Raccoonpaw darted away.

Hollypetal cocked her head at him. "Do you enjoy scaring apprentices?"

His gaze switched back to her. "Raccoonpaw is easy to scare."

"Where do you think Roseleaf is?"

He shrugged.

"Is she okay? You mentioned she's upset about Hollyleaf."

"Everyone's upset about Hollyleaf."

"Well, yes, but she wasn't everyone's mother."

He looked into the sky. "I think she'll recover from this. Hollyleaf was never really back, you know." He looked back towards the entrance wistfully. "I think Raccoonpaw is good for her," he admitted. "He makes her happy. She needs that. She needs him."

"Oh," she meowed, not quite sure how to respond. "That must be hard. Needing someone."

"I imagine it'd be harder not to," he responded. He was staring at her bemusedly, and she couldn't figure out why. "Well," he continued after a moment, "Okay then. Do you want to, ah, see Blackstar?"

"Not particularly." Whoever had went to inform him of her arrival had come out seconds earlier, ears flat against their head.

Rockfur twitched his ears uncomfortably. He probably wanted Roseleaf here to take over the conversation. He was far from a good conversationalist (to which he narrowed his eyes at her.)

The silence stretched on, until even Rainpaw had turned back and was looking between the two of them, not appearing to know how to continue the conversation.

"Oh," Rockfur said when Rainpaw's tail starting twitching awkwardly. "There she is."

Moments later, Roseleaf padded into the camp, two mice hanging from her mouth. She dropped them off at the fresh kill pile and immediately started for them. She was glaring at Rockfur and he sighed.

"Can you not freak out Raccoonpaw?" she snapped at Rockfur. "I saw him on my way back - I know it was _you_ that scared him!" She stopped her snarling to look at Hollypetal. "Hello, by the way."

Rockfur rolled his eyes. "I wasn't scaring him on purpose. I only asked if he knew where you were!"

"Well maybe if you didn't glare at him all the time, he wouldn't be scared of you!" she yowled. A few cats glanced over, but upon seeing it was just the siblings, turned away, heads shaking.

"It's not my fault he's a wimp," Rockfur meowed in a tone that was almost a whine.

Roseleaf bristled. "He isn't a wimp!"

"Hi, Roseleaf," Hollypetal cut in.

"Hi," she said again. "Why are toms so stupid?"

"A question for the ages."

"Oh, you brought a friend." She looked Rainpaw up and down with squinted eyes. "Rainpaw, right? Or have you gotten your warrior name yet?"

Rainpaw swished his tail. "No, I'm still a 'paw."

Roseleaf nodded. "It sucks when you're right on the edge of changing. You just keep waiting for the announcement." She shook her head sadly. "Every time there's a meeting and you don't become a warrior you just die a little inside."

"Yeah," Rainpaw said dryly, "Thanks. I got it."

Roseleaf smiled apologetically. "Oh, so why are you two here? Everything's alright, I hope?"

"Everything is fine," Rockfur answered, looking a lot calmer now that he wasn't being scolded. "Hollypetal was just taking up the offer to come and visit."

"Oh. Well, that's nice of you." She glanced at Blackstar's den. "Blackstar knows, though, right?"

"Yes, Smokefoot told him."

"Alright. Wouldn't want you here without Blackstar knowing. No offence," she added hastily. "It's just—different clans and everything."

"It's fine. Your clan is ShadowClan. It comes before friends from other clans." It was a rule that you learned before you even became an apprentice, as were most rules.

One of those rules was to not kill. Hollypetal found herself thinking of that rule a lot.

"Yeah," Roseleaf said, still looking apologetic. "It's not that I don't trust you—I just have a leader, so, you know..."

"It really is fine."

Rockfur cuffed his sister over the head. "It's fine, she said. So you can calm down."

"Don't talk to me," Roseleaf said, apparently still annoyed about Raccoonpaw.

"So, tell me about him—Raccoonpaw, I mean," Hollypetal said before they could start arguing again.

Roseleaf narrowed her eyes at Rockfur for a few seconds before turning to Hollypetal excitedly. "He's so nice, right?" she gushed. Hollypetal nodded quickly, though she wasn't sure she was qualified to give her opinion on someone she hadn't talked to. "He used to be like my best friend when we were apprentices, but lately I think it's been getting a lot more serious between us, and I mean, I'd like a mate at some point, so he seems like a good choice, right? I mean, we already get along so well and he won't be an apprentice much longer, just a moon or two. But we haven't really talked about it either, so I'm not sure he likes me, and I mean Rockfur scares the fur off of him."

Hollypetal looked at Rockfur. "Stop that," she said.

He huffed and fluffed out his fur and turned away moodily. "Who are you to tell me to shove off? You have toms fighting over you!"

"I have toms fighting around me like idiots," she corrected. "Rainpaw had good reason so smack Molenose."

Roseleaf looked startled. "They're literally fighting over you?" she asked. "I thought Rockfur meant, like, arguing."

"No, unfortunately everyone I know is an idiot. Beside's you," she added hastily. "All the toms I know are idiots."

Roseleaf nodded. "Oh, but why did Rainpaw hit Molenose? That's against the warrior code."

"Yeah, that's why I wasn't the one to do it," she replied pleasantly. "Molenose was being extremely rude about my heritage." She paused and blinked and turned to Rainpaw. "Thanks, by the way."

Now Rainpaw looked startled. "For what? Hitting Molenose?"

"Yes."

"Oh. You're, uh, welcome?"

She nodded contentedly at his confused expression before turning back to Roseleaf. "If Raccoonpaw doesn't confess, why don't you?"

"Me?" Hollypetal had never heard such an appalled tone before. "I—I can't do that! He's still an apprentice! I'm not even sure he _does_ like me! Are you crazy?!"

"Quite possibly."

"Oh. Uh—"

"So what if he's an apprentice?" she interrupted. "If you like him, tell him! If he doesn't like you back, then the quicker you can move on."

Roseleaf glanced around. "Well, if I confess, then so do you!"

"Who would I confess to?"

"I don't know! You have toms fighting over you and you don't even want either of them? Rude."

"They aren't fighting over me."

Roseleaf looked at Rainpaw for a long few moments, to which he glared back at her. "You don't even like Rainpaw?" she asked when she looked back at Hollypetal. "I mean, you let him come here with you. You must be close."

"That doesn't mean mates. Besides, he's an—mouse dung!"

Roseleaf smirked. "Changes a bit when they're apprentices, doesn't it?"

"But I don't like Rainpaw!"

"Thanks," Rainpaw muttered offendedly.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Don't you want kits some day? A family?" Roseleaf continued.

"They'd probably die," she said before she could stop herself. Like it was fair of her to say that when Roseleaf and Rockfur had lost both their parents before they were even apprentices. She herself had only lost her sister and Hollyleaf. Sure, she wasn't able to be close to the rest of her family, but they were still _alive_.

Roseleaf eyes had glazed over while Hollypetal was scolding herself.

"Oh, shut up," Rockfur meowed before anyone else could comment. "Death is inevitable. There's no point in complaining, or acting like you don't care. You're always going to care."

Roseleaf abruptly got to her feet. "You know what, though? You're right!" She looked Hollypetal in the eyes, which was rather unnerving. She'd been looking at her as a whole before, and now Roseleaf was suddenly very determined to meet her eyes. "I'm going to go tell Raccoonpaw how I feel. Who knows when he could die?"

Without so much as a goodbye, Roseleaf was darting out of the camp in search of Raccoonpaw.

Rockfur immediately started glaring at Hollypetal. "Now look what you've done!" he accused. "My sister is going to go confess! I could've prevented Raccoonpaw from confessing to _her_, but no one can stop her from doing what she wants!"

"But you said you thought they were good for each other!"

"But she's my _sister_!"

"Are you this protective of Dawnpaw?" Hollypetal whispered to Rainpaw.

He shook his head quickly.

Rockfur huffed loudly. "Me and him aren't the same." He paused for a long moment before continuing with "Imagine if Petalpaw had been interested in a cat."

Rainpaw looked away so fast he'd need to be treated for whiplash.

Hollypetal felt her eyes widen in horror.

Rockfur cocked his head at her.

"No way!" she meowed loudly. "That's my _sister_! Mine!"

The toms were both shaking their heads; Rainpaw with astonishment, and Rockfur with amusement.

She looked at Rainpaw again. "You'd be completely fine with Dawnpaw getting a mate?"

He nodded, eyes narrowing in annoyance. "It's not my business if she gets a mate."

"But we're both closer to our sisters," Rockfur said. "And have a natural reaction to defend them. So it's different with us." His lips curled into a snarl, surprisingly aimed at her. "If he _hurts_ her I will skin you."

"But if he's going to hurt her, he would have at some point anyway," she argued. "I'm just quickening the process. Isn't that good? Besides, then you can stop being constantly trying to scare him away. He's either not a threat to her or her mate."

"A mate is a threat," he grumbled.

She blinked and then thought of Hollyleaf's stories about Ashfur. Ashfur, who'd loved Squirrelflight. Ashfur, who'd been rejected because she didn't love him. Ashfur, who tried to kill her and her family in retaliation to her rejection. Ashfur, who Hollyleaf had killed to protect her family.

If anything, Roseleaf seemed like the more dangerous of the two, since she was the one facing rejection. Hollypetal was pretty sure she was above that, and was unsure on Rockfur's point of view.

"Are you in love with your sister?" she finally asked.

Rainpaw choked.

Rockfur looked more unimpressed than ever. "You just won't understand, I guess. Just think of all the horrible things that could happen. What if she had kits, and died during child birth? What if her feelings changed later, and she tried to leave him, and he attacked her?" His tail lashed.

She snorted. "Isn't he too scared of you to even think about hurting her?"

He looked suddenly pleased. "Do you think so?"

She shook her head at him in disbelief. "You're the worst."

"If he doesn't hurt her, then I'm fine with that." His expression darkened abruptly. "She just told him."

Rainpaw looked confusedly between them.

"Oh, Rockfur can read minds," Hollypetal explained briefly.

Rockfur glared at her.

Rainpaw stared blankly at her before realization set into his face and he turned to Rockfur, looking furious.

Rockfur stood quickly. "Time for you to leave," he said, tail swishing.

"They're together?" she asked, hopping from paw-to-paw anxiously.

He hissed and started out of ShadowClan's camp. She followed happily and Rainpaw sighed as he caught up.

"I can't believe you set my sister up," Rockfur grumbled.

"Good for her," Hollypetal said in her most agreeable voice.

Rockfur glared at her. "You're perfectly okay with—_this_?" He looked appalled and disgusted. "She's your sister too."

She almost stopped walking, instead tripped over herself. Rockfur had said it. Said the thought that had drifted through her mind constantly. Admitted that he saw her as a littermate.

She blinked and swallowed back her emotion. He understood. He understood that Hollyleaf was a mother to her too.

Rainpaw was shaking his head again, but not at the family thing. He was just looking at Rockfur exasperatedly. "You're really _this_ protective of your sister?"

He hadn't even blinked at Rockfur calling her family, like he'd already known that they were. He didn't necessarily _like_ Rockfur, but he was completely accepting of her being his family, of him being her family. The words had went right through him, that she was part ShadowClan, and he hadn't even blinked.

Molenose's words rung through her mind. That she was of clean blood, but she wasn't, she wasn't. Her grandfather was of WindClan, her great grandfather was a former kittypet, she had siblings in ShadowClan.

Molenose didn't even have 'clean' blood. Berrynose had been born in a barn.

She was suddenly scared of him. Scared that he had been to the Dark Forest, scared that he was going to hurt someone that had mixed blood, scared that she'd end up fighting him if it came down to it.

She didn't want to fight anymore and she'd never actually been in a battle with her clan at her side. If she thought hard enough she could still remember the feeling of Crowfrost's neck snapping in her—Hollyleaf's?—jaws. She felt it sometimes when she ate prey; she would hear the crunch and lose her appetite. She avoided eating sometimes when her head hurt.

Weariness fell over her as they reached the border. Rockfur was watching her out of the corner of his eye, obviously having been listening to her thoughts.

Rainpaw hopped over the scent line, relief lighting his features. "I smell mouse," he mewed, and then disappeared into the deep grass.

"I'll congratulate Roseleaf for you," Rockfur said gruffly. He still didn't look completely happy, but he didn't look as irritated. Maybe the earlier irritation was actually just his fur being brushed the wrong way because of Rainpaw's presence, which was understandable enough.

"If he's good for her, then let them be," she meowed, swishing her tail.

He huffed and was quiet for a few moments. "Molenose doesn't go to the Dark Forest," he finally meowed. "He's never thought about it. I don't know what came over him earlier. He was just angry, so try to forgive him."

"Yeah," she agreed hesitantly. "Let me sit on it for awhile."

He nodded and looked past her, to where Rainpaw had disappeared. "He was right, you know," he continued. "About you being sadder, and about you not hearing what he's saying." He tipped his head. "Though it seems that you might have finally heard him earlier."

"I don't ignore him," she snapped.

"You missed him becoming an apprentice," he fired back immediately. "You were in camp when he was apprenticed. He _waited_ for you to notice, and you didn't."

Her paws felt weak. She'd been _in_ camp and she'd missed it? How was that possible? How could she have missed it when Firestar would have called the clan for a meeting? When the clan gathered, when the clan cheered, when Rainpaw _waited_ for her to see him?

"That's impossible," she mewed, voice trembling. "I must have been training."

There was a hardness to Rockfur's gaze that made her feel cold. "No," he said, "You were there. I met him, remember? _He was thinking of you._"

And they'd joked about it. They'd made fun of Rainpaw's being insecure about her loyalties, about Rockfur's interest in her. It had seemed so silly then, but her paws were trembling beneath her.

"You're not a bad cat, Hollypetal," he murmured. "But you're not seeing what's right in front of you." He straightened suddenly and looked uncomfortable. "He's been really patient with you, so try to be more patient with him, okay?"

She nodded, but found that breathing was hard. When had she become so blind to Rainpaw, who'd been one of her best friends since they were kits playing together in the nursery? She couldn't even remember who Frostpaw's mentor was. When was the last time she'd spoken to Dawnpaw? She had never even tried to comfort her mother after Petalpaw had died. Cinderheart had never gotten any 'last words' with Petalpaw. What about Lionblaze? Had she ever tried to explain to him why she'd went to Jayfeather instead of him?

Had she ever thanked Ivypool for protecting her at the Dark Forest? Had she ever even tried to apologize to Cherryfall? To Sparrowflight?

Why hadn't she just told everyone that Hollyleaf was with her in the first place? She'd caused so much pain, so much anger and hatred. If she had spoken earlier, told someone that Crowfrost was the murder, would anyone have believed her? Would the cats he'd killed after Hollyleaf still be alive?

Had she ever thanked Rainpaw for cheering for her at her warriors ceremony? Had she ever thanked Rockfur and Roseleaf for being her family when she couldn't face her own?

Her paws felt like lead.

Rainpaw's voice was a welcome intrusion to her clouded mind. "Hey, let's hunt before we go back to camp." She blinked at him as he dropped a mouse at her feet. "Brambleclaw won't have a reason to complain then, you know?" He grinned smugly. "We were just a really long hunting patrol that didn't catch much."

"Sure," she said blankly. He squinted at her. "I mean, yeah, okay." She opened her mouth to scent the air. Grass, ThunderClan, ShadowClan, Rainpaw, Rainpaw's mouse. The faint smell of squirrel lingered someone nearby. "I'll go search for that squirrel." She turned quickly and started away.

"At least walk quietly," Rainpaw hissed to himself.

She lightened her steps.

* * *

><p>Hollypetal waited at their make-do fresh-kill pile. She'd caught her squirrel and Rainpaw's mouse was sitting with it, half buried. She just didn't know when Rainpaw would be back, which was completely her fault, since she hadn't bothered to ask how much they should catch.<p>

Maybe she should have been the one to say how much to catch—she was the warrior after all.

It was all very weird. Her mind felt fuzzy, like she'd slept too long.

"I'll carry the mice," Rainpaw said and she winced. He'd arrived and of course she hadn't noticed. He dropped another mouse down next to the one he'd caught earlier. "That should be enough to convince Brambleclaw to forgive us." He glanced at her. "Are you listening?"

She jerked upright. "Of course." Her paws started shaking again.

He looked satisfied. "Good. You can carry your squirrel then." He looked at her again. "Are you okay? You look spooked."

"Am I self centred?" she blurted before she could stop herself.

He looked startled. "Self centred?" When she nodded he snorted. "Hardly."

Relief made her shoulders droop.

"Isn't it the complete opposite?" he asked, expression turning puzzled. "Don't you think too much about others, and then get too anxious to do anything?"

Her paws tingled.

He shook his head. "I mean, you spend way too much time in your own head."

She nodded quickly at his words, urging him to continue.

"It's not like your selfish. You just grew up with your head talking back to you, so you didn't have to talk to others about things. It must be weird with that gone."

She stared at him and he stared back.

He flicked his tail and shook his head with a sigh. "Let's go back to camp." He scooped up his mice and waited for her to pick up her squirrel.

She hesitated for only a second before whispering, "Thank you."

He looked confused but simply flicked his tail towards her squirrel.

She picked it up and they headed back to camp together.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't know when the next chapter will be up. This one is just a little under eleven pages long! I'm pretty pleased with that. Also, before the next—and final—book is posted, I want to write a chapter-by-chapter plot thing. Have you ever done one of those? They're super helpful. I dunno. I want to write more. A lot more. I don't know. I think I know what I want to do with the next book.<strong>

**Thanks for your support, guys, it really means a lot.**


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